DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Dan," and I have been married for 10 years. We are childless by choice and happy with our decision. Recently, at a family gathering, Dan's sister put us on the spot by asking us to be the guardians of her two small children should anything happen to her and her husband.
Dan agreed without discussing it with me, and I was furious. The whole thing made me very uncomfortable. We talked it over, and Dan confided that he wasn't comfortable with it either. However, he thinks we shouldn't worry about something that probably won't happen.
Abby, if something DID happen to my sister-in-law and her husband, it certainly wouldn't be the right time to announce that Dan and I had changed our minds about caring for their kids. Dan and his sister come from a large family, so there's no shortage of more qualified candidates.
What should I do? Should I go along with my husband on this or put a stop to it now? -- RELUCTANT GUARDIAN ON THE EAST COAST
DEAR RELUCTANT: You and your husband MUST tell his sister and her husband that after giving it careful thought, you are unable to make the kind of commitment for which they are asking. Explain that you are honored they asked you, and will make sure the children are provided for -- but you cannot be the primary caregivers.