DEAR ABBY: After a six-year relationship with my boyfriend, "Rudy," I have learned that he's been shacking-up with another woman. I am devastated.

I was sometimes suspicious about Rudy's living situation. He told me he was renting a room from his longtime friend, "Lorna," but I was never invited in. Rudy's explanation was that since it wasn't his home, he didn't feel comfortable having company.

You guessed it, Abby. Lorna, the "longtime friend," turned out to be my Rudy's lover. The way I found out was humiliating. Last Sunday, I dropped by to visit him because he had told me on the phone the night before that he had stomach flu. When I rang the doorbell, an older man opened the door and identified himself as Lorna's father.

When I asked if I could come in and see Rudy, the old man told me that Lorna and Rudy were away on a Caribbean cruise. My jaw dropped. When I introduced myself as Rudy's girlfriend, and my 15-month-old as Rudy's child, HIS jaw dropped.

How could the man I love, the father of our precious baby, have pulled off this double life? I'm hurt and angry, but I know I must pull myself together for my daughter. How will I control myself when that two-timer has the nerve to show his face at my door? Can you give me some advice? -- TWO-TIMED IN BOSTON

DEAR TWO-TIMED: Your boyfriend is an accomplished user. He has taken advantage of you and Lorna, too -- so please don't think you are alone in your situation. What you say to him when he shows up is up to you. Fortunately, you have some time to prepare your speech. I'm sure it will be a dilly.

Before you do, however, it is imperative that you consult a lawyer and establish child custody rights and a support payment schedule for the benefit of your little girl. Let's hope that Rudy is willing to be a more responsible father than he has been a boyfriend.

DEAR ABBY: I look at myself and wonder how I got here. I am almost 23 and feel like a blank slate. When I was in high school, I had a 3.8 GPA. I had drive and purpose and knew exactly where I was headed.

Now I am tired all the time. College has taken a toll on me. I am overweight, a "C" student, and completely burned out. I've held a couple of part-time jobs, but nothing that excites me. I am at a crossroads. I have no idea where to go from here.

I have a few acquaintances, but no close friends. Boredom and loneliness fill my days. What do I do? Start over and try to fix things? I don't know whether to take time off from college or continue to grin and bear it. Maybe I should just lie down and die.

All I know is I'm tired of feeling like I have nothing to offer anyone. I am not happy with the road I've chosen, but don't know what other avenue to take. Abby, what can I do to feel alive again? -- CO-ED IN CENTRAL CALIFORNIA

DEAR CO-ED: You are exhibiting signs of depression. Go to the student health center and tell them exactly how you are feeling. Once you are treated -- medically and/or psychologically -- find out if your school offers career counseling. It will help you to understand where your strongest attributes lie and what your alternatives are.

You are clearly bright and success-oriented. Many people have more than one career in a lifetime. Select something you enjoy -- something that stimulates your creativity and makes you feel good about yourself. I guarantee you'll discover you have much to contribute -- and much to live for. Let me hear from you in three months. I care.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, my 35-year-old son, "Gary," split up with his girlfriend and got custody of their dog -- a 2-year-old, 85-pound Labrador retriever named Blondie. His new apartment had a "no pets" policy, so I agreed to take Blondie. She is a wonderful dog and I love her dearly.

Now history is about to repeat itself: After several moves, Gary is relocating and wants me to adopt his new dog -- a pit bull he calls Priscilla. I refused because I don't want the responsibility of another animal. Gary says I'm selfish, uncooperative and disloyal. I suggested that he find Priscilla a new home, but he keeps pressuring me to take her. Each time I refuse, it exacerbates the situation and is affecting our relationship.

Gary recently came up with a plan that just about broke my heart. He wants me to send Blondie to an animal shelter and keep Priscilla! My response to that was, "Absolutely not!"

Abby, am I selfish, uncooperative and disloyal? -- BLONDIE'S FRIEND IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR FRIEND: You are none of the above. You are a caring mother who has helped out her son once and knows her limitations. Your son is showing his immaturity by attempting to guilt you into taking the responsibility for Priscilla off his shoulders. Tell him that at 35, it's time to act like a man and contact a pit bull rescue group that will find her the home she deserves.

DEAR ABBY: I have been going with "Bob" for almost three years. We dated through college and graduated last month. In the fall we will both attend law school, I in one town and Bob in another an hour away.

My ex-roommate, "Ellie," is letting me stay with her through the summer until I leave for law school. (Bob, Ellie and I all have summer jobs at the same place.) Things were working out perfectly -- until Bob told me he's attracted to Ellie and wants to take a break from his relationship with me!

Bob says he is no longer sure he's in love with me and wants to see if there's "something there" with Ellie. I am heartbroken, but have agreed to a one-month break from Bob while he tries to figure things out.

Meanwhile, Ellie -- being a friend to both of us -- has announced that she's cutting both Bob and me out of her life until we resolve our problems. She also said that if we don't work things out, she would like to date Bob.

Abby, I'm hurt and offended. I love Bob. We were planning a future together. Now I am filled with doubts and insecurities. And the worst part is, we see each other every day at work. How should I handle this? -- LOST IN LANSING

DEAR LOST: Make the break with Bob permanent. If he was as devoted to you as he should have been, he wouldn't have developed a wandering eye. Also, I don't know how much you need the money from this summer job, but if you can find another to satisfy your financial needs, it will be better for you emotionally.

Ellie appears to respect your friendship. Please don't resent her for what happened. If your romance with Bob wasn't meant to be, you're better off knowing it now.

Look on the bright side. You have a terrific future ahead of you with an opportunity to meet many interesting people. I'm betting you'll meet a new partner in law school.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY BEAUTIFUL MOTHER, PAULINE PHILLIPS, IN MINNEAPOLIS: Happy Birthday, Mom! -- Love, Jeanne in L.A.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: This Mother's Day was my fourth without my youngest son. In June of 1999, he was killed by a drunk driver. My son was only 23 and had his whole life ahead of him.

The driver was a 50-year-old man who pulled out of a bar parking lot onto a main road as though he were the only driver in the world. My son didn't stand a chance. It was 8:30 on a Tuesday night. DUIs can occur any day, any time.

That tragic night not only changed my life forever, but the lives of my son's brother, his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, a girlfriend and friends. I will never be able to attend his wedding, cuddle his children, or have a relationship with his wife.

I raised two boys and enjoyed their company. How quickly all that changed. I no longer enjoy "happy" or "merry" holidays.

Abby, please warn your readers not to drink and drive. Tragedy caused by a drunk driver can strike any family. -- A MOM CHANGED FOREVER

DEAR MOM: I'm sad to say that's absolutely true. Please accept my deepest sympathy for the tragic loss of your son. With the Fourth of July holiday beginning tomorrow, your letter is especially timely.

Readers, relax, give thanks to our founding fathers, but please do not drink and drive.

DEAR ABBY: I am working this summer and saving to buy a new car. The car I have now is fine; I just want something newer.

My problem is, what do I do with my old car when I get a new one? My parents are divorced, but both of them have asked me to sell it to a different brother. I know that when I choose one, the other will be upset and will think I am playing favorites. What should I do? -- ONE CAR/TWO BROS IN KANSAS

DEAR CAR, TWO BROS: It's unfair for you to be placed in the middle. Establish a fair price for the vehicle. Tell both of your brothers what's going on and have them draw a "lucky ticket" out of a hat to see who gets to buy the car. If that is not acceptable, the car should be sold to a third party.

DEAR ABBY: I married a widower who is 40 years older than me. I adore him, but he insists on keeping a portrait of his deceased wife prominently displayed in our living room. (She died 10 years ago.) He also has a sculpture of her head on a pedestal.

This behavior irks me. Please advise. -- SECONDHAND IRIS IN MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR IRIS: Your husband may have had the portrait for so long that he's no longer aware of its presence. Have you told him how you feel about it? If you have, and he's resistant to removing it -- as a compromise, ask him to display it in a less prominent place.

As for the sculpture, when he's not around, throw a towel or a lovely scarf over it and keep your sense of humor. After all, she's just plaster and paint. You are flesh and blood.

DEAR ABBY: This summer I'm getting married to Mr. Wonderful. Jerry and I have been engaged for two years and together for five. The problem? His new hobby -- computer chat rooms.

Maybe I've got the wedding jitters, but this bothers me no end. Lately he's been messaging "Gina" in the U.K. They communicate frequently, and even have pet names for each other. (Jerry calls her "Little British Babe" and she calls him "Jer-Bear.")

Now I have discovered they're exchanging letters, photos and chocolates. Jerry says it's because she misses her favorite U.S. candy -- Hershey kisses.

Abby, am I being paranoid, or is more going on than meets the eye? -- SUSPICIOUS FIANCEE IN NEBRASKA

DEAR SUSPICIOUS FIANCEE: I don't think you are being paranoid. Your fiance should be exchanging kisses (chocolate and otherwise) with you. Tell him to cut out the candy and sweet talk, or you'll go on a "diet" that doesn't include him.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)