DEAR ABBY: I am being married in a few months. Ted is 20 and I am 22. He tells me he has "no past," and refuses to discuss it.
From what I hear from his friends, Ted has tried everything in his 20 years of life -- drugs, sex, alcohol, wild parties. They say he has talked about numerous one-night stands without protection, and that he was even involved in group sex with eight other guys and one female. (Again, without protection.) For all I know, he may even be a father. He also refuses to be checked for STDs.
Am I right for wanting to know how many sexual partners Ted has had? I am still a virgin. When I try to talk to him about this he clams up. Can I trust him? -- JITTERY IN JACKSONVILLE
DEAR JITTERY: Absolutely not. Your intuition is warning you. Anyone, male or female, who has had even one unprotected sexual contact should be tested for STDs. If what his friends are saying is true, your fiance is reckless and immature. He has exposed himself to diseases that could destroy your ability to have children -- or even kill you. I urge you to discuss this with your doctor. I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is that you know your fiance's health status before this goes any further. You have a right to that information.