DEAR ABBY: I have a problem at my workplace. My two bosses are single men in their early 30s. I am the only female working at the company. Somehow, it has become "my duty" to find single women for them to date. This has been going on for several months, and they are unhappy because none of the ladies I have set them up with have worked out.

Yesterday, I was given a bad performance review, and I know it's because the women I have introduced them to have rejected them.

Abby, how can I get them to separate their personal desires from my office responsibilities? I've tried telling them I cannot be their personal dating service any longer, but that makes my office situation worse. The truth is, I'm running out of girlfriends to introduce them to, and the job situation in New York City doesn't allow me to quit. -- SICK OF BEING CUPID IN MANHATTAN

DEAR SICK OF BEING CUPID: You were well-intentioned in trying to fix your bosses up, but solicitation and procurement were not in your job description. Document as best you can the times and places when you were asked to supply them with women. If you're fired, provide that information to the labor board. Your employers are blackmailing you, and their behavior is contemptible.

DEAR ABBY: My second husband, "Randy," and I have four children between us -- my two, ages 14 and 15, and his daughter, "Katy," 5, and our son, "Timmy," 2.

Recently, I asked Randy if, for my own personal keepsake, we could have a professional portrait taken of him and the three children I bore. He adamantly refused, saying Katy would feel left out.

We have a fairly recent picture in our family room with Katy in it. Timmy, however, is not in the photo because he has autism and refused to have his picture taken that day.

Randy and I have been arguing over this, and it's making me resentful toward him and my stepdaughter. (Katy doesn't live with us, but visits every other weekend.)

Do you think I am selfish to want a picture with just my husband and MY three children? -- MAD STEPMOM IN BEAUMONT, TEXAS

DEAR MAD STEPMOM: I'm not sure I'd call it selfish. However, it would be enormously insensitive to the feelings of the little girl who lives apart and gets to be with her father and siblings only every other weekend. Look at it from the child's perspective, and you'll see your husband is right.

DEAR ABBY: My second husband, "Randy," and I have four children between us -- my two, ages 14 and 15, and his daughter, "Katy," 5, and our son, "Timmy," 2.

Recently, I asked Randy if, for my own personal keepsake, we could have a professional portrait taken of him and the three children I bore. He adamantly refused, saying Katy would feel left out.

We have a fairly recent picture in our family room with Katy in it. Timmy, however, is not in the photo because he has autism and refused to have his picture taken that day.

Randy and I have been arguing over this, and it's making me resentful toward him and my stepdaughter. (Katy doesn't live with us, but visits every other weekend.)

Do you think I am selfish to want a picture with just my husband and MY three children? -- MAD STEPMOM IN BEAUMONT, TEXAS

DEAR MAD STEPMOM: I'm not sure I'd call it selfish. However, it would be enormously insensitive to the feelings of the little girl who lives apart and gets to be with her father and siblings only every other weekend. Look at it from the child's perspective, and you'll see your husband is right.

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DEAR ABBY: I am divorced, work full time, and a year ago I became an Internet "love bug" when I met a man who lives 3,000 miles away. We started out as friends, but soon began e-mailing and talking on the phone almost daily. This relationship has become much more intense than I expected, yet I have some nagging questions.

His nickname is "Skip." He swears that he loves me and is not married, but he refuses to give me his full name, home address or phone number. (He calls me only from his office.) He says that when "the timing is right," he will give me all the information he has been withholding. We have become quite intimate over the Internet and telephone -- and yes, he has my home phone number. He tells me it's not "convenient" for me to visit him right now, and he can't visit me because when he flies he becomes deathly ill.

Abby, I enjoy his attention, the passion and excitement. We've tried several times to break it off, but I always give in and contact him. Do you think I am living in a fantasy world? -- LOVING SKIP FROM AFAR

DEAR LOVING SKIP: I sure do. Or to put it another way, you'd feel right at home at Disney World. A telephone romance may make your heart "skip" a beat, but it pales when compared to the real thing. Why are you wasting your time like this?

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Elmer," seeks attention from every woman he meets. He tells stories boasting about himself, and it's always about what he did 40 or 50 years ago.

Elmer will say to a friend, "Tell so-and-so (the wife of a mutual friend) I still love her." Or, "How's my old sweetheart? Tell that little lady I'm still waiting for her."

Other times, Elmer will telephone a buddy and if the wife answers, he'll start with, "This is your old lover-boy," instead of giving his name.

Most of the time I'm embarrassed for my husband. I also consider his behavior disrespectful to me. What's my husband's problem, Abby? Help is needed here. -- DISGRUNTLED LONGTIME WIFE

DEAR DISGRUNTLED: You married a man with an outgoing, flirtatious personality. Elmer is not being disrespectful of you -- this is simply his "shtick." Having heard his routine over and over, you've lost your sense of humor about it. He may need some new material, but I doubt he's going to alter the script, so please lighten up and try not to take it personally. I'm sure nobody else does.

DEAR ABBY: I have been secretly dating "Brandon." He has a live-in girlfriend, and I know I shouldn't be dating him, but when we're together I know I make him happy. Brandon complains about how unappreciative his girlfriend is and that she throws him out every other week. We enjoy being around each other and talk on the phone for hours at a time.

However, I have reached the point in our relationship where I want it to be just "me and him." I would like Brandon to tell his girlfriend about us, but the problem is, she's my hairdresser. How should this be handled? Sign me ... HIS GIRLFRIEND'S CLIENT

DEAR CLIENT: In order to avoid the "unkindest cut of all," change hairdressers. Brandon doesn't want a permanent relationship with anyone. In plain English -- he's a flake, and if you're smart you'll give him the brush-off.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY DEAR MOTHER IN MINNEAPOLIS: Happy Mother's Day to the dearest mother in the world. You are in my thoughts and heart today, and every day.

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DEAR ABBY: There is an older man in my neighborhood whom I see almost every day standing outside his home -- completely nude! When I pick up the paper or go out for the mail, there he is, as naked as the day he was born.

Other neighbors have also seen him in the nude and so has my husband. He's the talk of the neighborhood. We don't know the family well, so I can't decide whether or not to tell his wife. What do you think, Abby? The guy scares me. -- SEEN IT ALL IN BILOXI

DEAR SEEN IT ALL: You have a right to be concerned; your neighbor is breaking the law. The man's wife should be told immediately so she can speak to his doctor and arrange for a complete physical and mental status exam. If that doesn't put a stop to the problem, the police should be notified. Your neighbor could be cited or arrested for indecent exposure.

DEAR ABBY: I attended a wedding a while back. The only thank-you the bride and groom offered was a photocopy of their engagement picture at each place setting. Underneath was printed a caption that read, "Thanks for attending our wedding!"

When I asked the bride what she intended to do about those people who had given gifts, she replied that the cost of stamps was prohibitive (!) and this would be the only thank-you.

What do you suggest we do when the invitations for the baby shower arrive? -- STARTING THE COUNTDOWN IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR STARTING: Be kind and bring a baby gift. But along with it include a book on etiquette. You'll be doing the young woman and her child a favor. It's obvious she's ignorant about this important social skill, and children learn their manners from their parents.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to the love of my life, "Ralph," for almost 24 years. We've been together since we were 17. Three years ago, he was injured in an accident and is now disabled. Ralph's doctors have told me he can never work again.

I am working full time to keep us afloat. Since Ralph is unable to contribute financially to our household now or in the future, his friends have started asking him if he is afraid I'm going to leave him. They assume that since he can't work I won't stand by him.

Is this something that happens to men when they can't work? Do women leave their husbands for this reason? It certainly sounds uncaring and not "for better or worse," which is the vow I took when I married him.

Abby, Ralph has become increasingly insecure since his accident and he's worried that his friends are predicting something that I know isn't going to happen. How can I ease his mind? -- NOT GOING ANYWHERE IN UTAH

DEAR NOT: Tell him often how much you love him, how important he is in your life, and that you would be lost without him. Reassure him that a husband is more than a paycheck, and, as your signature says, you are not going anywhere.

Sadly, some women do marry their spouses only "for better and for richer" -- but thankfully, they're in the minority. For your husband's friends to imply that you belong in that category is both insulting and unfair.

Clip this column and show it to your husband. I hope he won't allow his friends to tarnish your union by creating suspicion where no transgression has occurred.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)