DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old daughter, "Betsy," looks and acts older than her age. She's interested in older guys (17 to 19), and they're interested in her. Even though Betsy is not yet allowed to date or go to teenage clubs in town, it's becoming difficult for me to say no all the time.

How can I slow down my daughter's maturity? I would like Betsy to enjoy her childhood while she can. I realize her dad and I must allow her to grow up -- I just don't want it to be this early. And yes, she is aware of sex. We've had "the talk." -- WATCHFUL MOM IN LOUISIANA

DEAR WATCHFUL MOM: Keep your daughter busy. Get her involved in sports, dance, art, theater. But don't count on "slowing down her maturity." Much as you might wish to, you cannot hold back the hands of time.

P.S. I'm pleased you've had "the talk" with your daughter. At 15, she's well on her way to womanhood. Keep the lines of communication open, do not jump to conclusions, give her your unconditional love and listen without being judgmental. You're her mother, not her warden.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, my 32-year-old husband, "Tom," came down with a bad case of chicken pox. He never had it as a kid and couldn't be vaccinated because he is severely allergic to the vaccine.

The outbreak left Tom with pockmarks on his face, neck and back. He hasn't said much about it, but I know my husband. I can tell by the way he now styles his hair and wears his clothes that he's trying to hide the marks on his skin.

Tom is still very handsome, but he acts self-conscious and embarrassed about his appearance. Should I try to get him to talk about it -- yes or no? And if I can get him to open up, what should I suggest? Thanks, Abby. -- CONCERNED ABOUT HUBBY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR CONCERNED: By all means talk to him. These days, many men avail themselves of cosmetic surgical procedures -- and not just in Hollywood.

Suggest that he consult a dermatologist about his options for improving the appearance of the scarring. In recent years, tremendous progress has been made in skin resurfacing. However, the procedures should be done ONLY by an experienced, board-certified physician.

DEAR ABBY: Here is a true "he never says he loves me" story: On a beautiful, moonlit night in August of 1935, my future husband, Bill, and I were on our first date. We went swimming in a small lake with a dance pavilion on the shore. From the beach, Bill and I could hear the orchestra.

Suddenly we both got very quiet, listening to a beautiful melody. When the song ended, Bill said, "Gee, that's a pretty song -- do you know the name of it?" I answered, "Love Me Forever." Bill took my hand and said, "Well, that's a long time, but I'd sure like to try!"

Over the years, whenever I told the story about "our song," I liked to tease Bill with, "That was the first and last romantic thing you ever said to me." Not the truth, of course, but it made a good story.

I am now an 86-year-old widow. My Bill died in 1971 -- and the "forever" feels as true today as it did that summer night. -- VIRGINIA "TOOTS" WEITZEL, OLEAN, N.Y.

DEAR "TOOTS": It may have been a first date, but your Bill knew a good thing when he saw one -- and how to close a sale. Your letter touched me. Thank you for sharing your love story.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a senior citizen at an independent living facility. I told my physician I feel like an old car -- fix one part and another falls apart. I said I didn't need an overhaul, just a new motor.

Your column (plus coffee) starts each day for me. I recently found an old one I saved, "A Dog Named Sex," and methinks it's time to run it again. I wanted to send it to my grandson, but alas, my clipping is yellowed with age. Thanks, Abby. -- BEVERLY NUNNELLY, EDMOND, OKLA.

DEAR BEVERLY: You're welcome. I'm pleased to oblige. I have had several requests for it lately -- and it always brings a smile. Read on:

A DOG NAMED SEX

by Morty Storm

When I went to City Hall to renew my dog's license, I told the clerk I wanted a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too!"

Then I said, "But this is a dog."

He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked at me and said, "You must have been quite a kid."

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took my dog with me. I told the motel clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room for Sex. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do."

I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem."

Well, one day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog got loose and ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He said, "Wonderful! If you sell tickets, you'll clean up!"

But you don't understand, I said. "I want to have Sex on TV." He said, "They already have that on cable. It's no big deal anymore."

Well, my wife and I decided to separate, so we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.

I said to the judge, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The court is not a confessional. Please stick to the facts." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me, too."

Well, last night Sex ran away again, and I spent hours looking all over for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up Friday.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to comment on the letter from "Paying the Price," the grandmother who had a cup of coffee with a male acquaintance and got herpes.

I am an 84-year-old man who has never had a venereal disease, and I'm an avid coffee drinker. I have three or four 12-ounce mugs every day. I have been drinking coffee as long as I can remember. Abby, coffee will NOT give you herpes. -- OLD COFFEE HOUND IN TEXAS

DEAR OLD COFFEE HOUND: I agree. It's the "sweet talk" that went WITH the coffee that caused the woman's problem!

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DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl. My problem is my mother and the nonstop fights we've been having lately. I'm trying hard to do all the right things -- keep my grades up, maintain my friendships -- and maybe find a nice boyfriend. Through it all, I've tried to make Mom my No. 1 priority.

My father left us, and Mom has done everything for my brother, sister and me. Even when she had only 20 bucks in her pocket, she still kept us in our house with food on the table. What's hardest for me right now is that I can't do what other kids my age can -- or go where they go -- because of lack of money.

I have been reading my Bible every day and praying for my family -- even for my dad. But I can't seem to make Mom happy no matter how hard I try. She yells at me every time I turn around. I need some of your best advice, Abby. You can't imagine how great it would be for me to hear something positive from Mom for a change. Thanks for listening. -- TROUBLE WITH MOTHER

DEAR TROUBLE WITH MOTHER: From your description, it appears your mother is stressed out and not the mother she would wish to be. Her short fuse has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her overwhelming responsibilities to you and your siblings. Please don't take her outbursts personally.

Clip this column and show her this letter. Tell her that you wrote it, and that you love her, appreciate her and want to please her. Try to be understanding. She probably doesn't realize how bad you have been feeling, and she needs all the support she can get right now.

If the yelling continues (too much yelling can be abusive), discuss it with your clergyperson or a counselor at school. They may be able to intervene on your behalf.

As for your money problems, start asking around and see if you can pick up some baby-sitting jobs for extra money in the short term. In another year or two you will be able to get a part-time job if you wish.

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law remarried a year ago. His new wife has a teenage son, "Josh," from a previous relationship, and my brother-in-law is in the process of adopting him.

Recently my husband and I invited the three of them to our home. It was the first time we had met our new sister-in-law and Josh. They both seemed nice, but my husband and I sensed that there was something about the boy we weren't being told.

Last night, my husband's mother confided in him that four years ago Josh was caught in the act of molesting and sodomizing his 9-year-old female cousin. He was convicted by juvenile court and sent away for three years.

The next time we saw Josh after learning this information, we were at the home of some other relatives. The family had gathered to celebrate an uncle's birthday. During the course of the party, Josh spent time alone with several young cousins of both sexes in the basement playroom.

I told my husband that the other parents in our extended family should be told about Josh's history, but he strongly disagrees. What do you think, Abby? Should I keep my mouth shut, or make sure that the next time Josh attends a family gathering, the parents are forewarned? I'm afraid to let this go, but I will abide by your answer. -- WORRIED SICK ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR WORRIED SICK: I disagree with your husband. The parents should be told so that they can be sure their children are adequately supervised in their interactions with Josh. To pretend that the boy has no history of molestation would be both irresponsible and risky.

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