DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Brian," and I are in our early 30s. In June we will have been dating for six years. We've lived together for four. I am ready for marriage and a family, but Brian considers marriage a "financial decision." He has told me more than once that he would gain nothing by marrying me.
Frankly, our living arrangement has never been financially ideal for me. At the time we moved in together, I had been making payments on a small home that would have been paid for by now. I sold it (taking a loss) and gave away all my furniture when I moved in with Brian. He had just purchased a pricey home, and I have always paid him rent and shared all living expenses.
So I have to ask myself: What does my live-in companion have to "lose" financially by marrying me? I continue to pay him rent. At my own expense I have painted the bedrooms, put up all new drapes and blinds, planted a beautiful garden –- all for a house that's not even mine.
Last June, I gave Brian one year to ask me to marry him. Here it is almost May, and he is no closer to proposing now than he was then. Am I being unreasonable to expect a serious commitment? Any advice would help. Sign me ... COLORADO LADY IN WAITING
DEAR LADY IN WAITING: Unreasonable, no. Naive, yes. Your boyfriend is a self-admitted cash-and-carry kind of guy. He is only interested in the financial benefits of your current arrangement.
You have stars in your eyes, and Brian is blinded by dollar signs. If you want a real partnership, find someone with whom you have more in common.