DEAR ABBY: I am a 26-year-old, stay-at-home mom married to a man in his 60s. We had three children right away.

Because of health problems, my husband is getting to the point where he can't help me with the kids as much as he once could. He comes home from work, eats supper in bed, and then falls asleep.

It's up to me to supervise the kids getting their homework finished before baths and bedtime. I struggle to keep up with all that needs to be done. What I want to know is: Why shouldn't I be able to raise my children without help? There are single moms out there who "do it all." Have you any suggestions for me? -- A MARRIED MOM IN VIRGINIA

DEAR MARRIED MOM: I certainly do. First, ask yourself why you're being so hard on yourself. Three small children are a handful, and I'm sure every single mother reading this has felt overwhelmed at one point or another.

Second, although he is in his 60s, your husband is working and hardly an old man. I don't know what his health problems are, but his doctor should be told about his lack of energy. It could be a symptom of depression, which is treatable. It could also be a symptom of a treatable physical problem.

Third, you could use a respite. Ask around and see if you and another mother in the neighborhood could watch each other's children for a few hours on a regular basis. It's important to your mental and physical health to take time for yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old-boy in the eighth grade. My problem is my parents and their lack of confidence in me.

I'm an above-average artist, and I think I've got a lot of potential. But when my parents question me about what I want to do when I get older and I tell them I want to be an artist for an animation studio, they say, "That's not a realistic goal." Mom says stuff like, "Why don't you pick an occupation that's more practical?" And Dad just keeps quiet.

Abby, I know I'm only 13, but I have aspired to be an animation artist since I was 4. It hurts knowing my parents do not support my dream. What should I do about it? -- HIGH ON TALENT/LOW ON SELF-ESTEEM IN COLORADO

DEAR HIGH/LOW: Go to the library and research the field of animation, which can be quite lucrative. (I'm sure the librarian will be happy to assist you.) There are many jobs in the arts and graphic design, and as you grow older your interests may broaden. For now, continue taking art courses, hold onto your dream and keep your academic standing high. That way you'll get into a good college or art school.

DEAR ABBY: A month ago I learned that my husband, "Danny," cheated on me with a co-worker. I found out because Danny told me himself.

I was terribly upset when my husband broke the news, but after many long talks and lots of tears, we're trying to work through it. The hard part is I made the mistake of telling my family, and now they won't speak to him. They say I'm going about this all wrong, and that I'm stupid for accepting his apology so quickly.

Is my family right, Abby? Am I forgiving my husband too quickly? -- WILLING TO START FRESH IN WINSTON-SALEM, N.C.

DEAR WILLING TO START FRESH: Your family may mean well, but they should not influence your decision to forgive your husband. The wisest course for you and him would be to work this through with professional counseling. Please don't wait.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Two months ago, I discovered a hard lump in my husband's testicle. I urged him to see his doctor, but he put it off for many weeks. He finally went two weeks ago. The doctor diagnosed him with testicular cancer. That same day, my husband underwent surgery to remove his testicle. Two days after that, he underwent CT scans of his chest, abdomen and pelvis. The five days of waiting for the results were excruciating. Thankfully, his cancer had not spread. He must undergo scans every four months for the next two years, but his chances for a full recovery are excellent.

After reading about Lance Armstrong (four-time winner of the Tour de France cycling race), I had encouraged my husband to practice regular testicular self-examinations. He did not. To me, this was as simple as my monthly breast self-exam. Had I not known the signs, my husband's treatment might have come too late. We are inundated with information about breast cancer, but testicular cancer is rarely mentioned.

Abby, please suggest that your male readers practice monthly testicular exams. My husband and I have heard stories of men from 17 to 70 with this cancer. The cure rate is very high and the cancer is fairly easy to detect. -- A LOVING WIFE IN OREGON

DEAR LOVING WIFE: I'm pleased your husband's prognosis is a good one. He is blessed to have such an alert and caring spouse. The American Cancer Society informs me that testicular cancer is highly curable when diagnosed early. Testicular exams are quick and simple and can easily be performed in the shower. For more information, contact the American Cancer Society at (800) 227-2345. Web site: www.cancer.org.

DEAR ABBY: I have recently started dating "Jack." He's someone I feel strongly about. Jack appears to be quite fond of me, although I'm not sure his feelings are as strong as mine.

Ever since I've known him, he has talked about his past girlfriends. He enjoys discussing their relationships, including intimate details about their sex lives.

I've never been the jealous type, so I'm not really offended -- after all, those women are a part of his past. However, I don't understand why Jack feels compelled to tell me everything he does. Other men I've dated haven't regaled me with their escapades. I understand a man talking about his most recent romance, but some of Jack's stories go back 20 years. What do you think, Abby? -- TOO MUCH INFO IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR TOO MUCH: Jack is no gentleman. Describing that kind of personal information is a sign of immaturity and insecurity.

Now I have a question for you: How will you feel after your relationship is over knowing that Jack is telling the next woman in his life all about YOU? If I were you, I'd run for the hills!

DEAR ABBY: I take exception to the advice you gave "Mrs. Smith in Marietta, Ga." She asked how her name should appear on her tombstone, given the fact that she remarried after a long and happy marriage. You told her she could use both husbands' last names -- "Jane Smith Jones."

Please don't take away her real identity. She was not born with the name Smith. Her tombstone should read something like this: "Jane Brown/Wife of Robert Smith/Wife of Vernon Jones."

A monument producer explained this to my mother and me many years ago. A tombstone is a historical document of sorts, and a wife's maiden name should always appear. – JEANNE G. BOBROWIECKI, SUNRISE, FLA.

DEAR JEANNE G.: I like your solution. Everybody has equal billing -- even the deceased.

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DEAR ABBY: When I read the letter from "Seen It All in Minneapolis," from the woman who, from her driveway, can see her neighbors through their bathroom window, I had to smile. I live in a townhouse and my neighbors and I share a common bedroom wall. One night I was awakened by a pounding noise. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from, and eventually went back to sleep.

Over the next few weeks, I was awakened frequently by the same sounds. One night, after listening for a while, I realized it was coming from my neighbors' bedroom -- they were having intimate relations.

I didn't say anything at first, but finally decided I had to. I was afraid my mother would be visiting while the neighbors were going at it again. I was more than a little embarrassed at having to broach the subject.

One morning, I rang the couple's doorbell. When the woman came to the door I said, "I have something to tell you -- the walls here aren't very thick." She took one look at my red face and understood immediately. Needless to say, I never heard them again. -- SILENCE IS GOLDEN IN MARYLAND

DEAR S.I.G.: They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease. The same holds true for bedsprings and things that go bump in the night. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have a simple solution for "Seen It All." Plant a bush, install a trellis, or build a fence between the driveway and the window to obscure the view. If that doesn't work, plant a fig tree and lend your neighbor a leaf. -- NATURE LOVER IN ROME, N.Y.

DEAR NATURE LOVER: Why not? It was the first "fashion statement" conceived in the Garden of Eden.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago my sister had the same problem -- only SHE was the one with the bathroom window that wasn't opaque enough. Her bathroom faced the street.

One of her neighbors sent her a card that looked like a wedding invitation. It read, "This is to inform you that the one-way frosty glass window in your bathroom is in backward." She never found out who sent it, but she had that window fixed in a hurry. -- KATHY FROM OKLAHOMA

DEAR KATHY: It could have been worse. It could have been an announcement of another au naturel performance of "Oh, Calcutta!" at her address.

DEAR ABBY: I am 17 and ache to have a baby. Everyone says I'm too young to have a kid -- but I want one really bad. I've got a great guy, but he doesn't want to be a father right now. So far, I've tried to respect his wishes. However, I'm on birth control pills and sometimes I feel I should secretly stop taking them. Then if I get pregnant I can say, "Wow, how did that happen?" Please tell me what you think. I can't hold out much longer. -- READY-OR-NOT IN TEXAS

DEAR READY-OR-NOT: Continue to hold out, because you are on the verge of making a mistake that could affect at least three people for a lifetime. Before you act on your fantasy, it's important that you understand what is missing in your life and why you are trying to fill the space with an innocent baby.

Conceiving a child through dishonesty is a terrible beginning. From the tone of your letter, neither you nor your "great guy" is ready for the responsibilities of parenthood.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)