DEAR ABBY: When I read the letter from "Seen It All in Minneapolis," from the woman who, from her driveway, can see her neighbors through their bathroom window, I had to smile. I live in a townhouse and my neighbors and I share a common bedroom wall. One night I was awakened by a pounding noise. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from, and eventually went back to sleep.
Over the next few weeks, I was awakened frequently by the same sounds. One night, after listening for a while, I realized it was coming from my neighbors' bedroom -- they were having intimate relations.
I didn't say anything at first, but finally decided I had to. I was afraid my mother would be visiting while the neighbors were going at it again. I was more than a little embarrassed at having to broach the subject.
One morning, I rang the couple's doorbell. When the woman came to the door I said, "I have something to tell you -- the walls here aren't very thick." She took one look at my red face and understood immediately. Needless to say, I never heard them again. -- SILENCE IS GOLDEN IN MARYLAND
DEAR S.I.G.: They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease. The same holds true for bedsprings and things that go bump in the night. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I have a simple solution for "Seen It All." Plant a bush, install a trellis, or build a fence between the driveway and the window to obscure the view. If that doesn't work, plant a fig tree and lend your neighbor a leaf. -- NATURE LOVER IN ROME, N.Y.
DEAR NATURE LOVER: Why not? It was the first "fashion statement" conceived in the Garden of Eden.
DEAR ABBY: Several years ago my sister had the same problem -- only SHE was the one with the bathroom window that wasn't opaque enough. Her bathroom faced the street.
One of her neighbors sent her a card that looked like a wedding invitation. It read, "This is to inform you that the one-way frosty glass window in your bathroom is in backward." She never found out who sent it, but she had that window fixed in a hurry. -- KATHY FROM OKLAHOMA
DEAR KATHY: It could have been worse. It could have been an announcement of another au naturel performance of "Oh, Calcutta!" at her address.