DEAR ABBY: I am a 21-year-old member of the Air Force stationed in South Korea. I would have been married last month to "Barbara," whom I met back home three years ago. However, Barbara broke up with me because she thought our engagement was too long, and she was tired of waiting.
After Barb broke our engagement, she started hanging out with a rough crowd –- drinking, smoking dope, etc. The last time I was home on furlough, she confessed that two weeks after our engagement was called off, she had sex with a guy she didn't even know. Barb knows she made a terrible mistake.
After much soul-searching I forgave her –- and we are once again talking marriage. My problem is, I feel a strong urge to cheat on her before we tie the knot. I was up-front with Barb about my feelings. I argued that it took 11 months before she'd sleep with me, and it took her only two weeks to find a total stranger to have sex with.
Every time I think about the fact that Barbara had sex with someone else, it makes me want to retaliate. Should I act on it, Abby? -- SOUL-SEARCHING IN SEOUL
DEAR SOUL-SEARCHING: Please RE-consider everything you are considering. Having sex with someone in order to punish a third party is a poor reason to have sex. I urge you to resist the impulse. Frankly, I think neither of you is ready to marry anyone at this time.