DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old son, "Bradley," was conceived by artificial insemination using an anonymous donor. His father and I divorced when our child was very young, and Brad has never been told the truth about his conception. However, a handful of people on both sides of the family DO know. Over the years, Brad's father has provided minimal financial and emotional support for our son. (My ex has remarried; I have not.)
I have been advised by my minister to tell Bradley the truth now. However, I am being told by my mother that Brad should never be told, and we should just hope that no one spills the beans.
Have you any thoughts on a situation such as this? -- WORRIED MOM IN CHICAGO
DEAR WORRIED MOM: Your mother is well-meaning, but your minister is right. Your son should be told the truth. There is no shame in it, and because other family members already know, the boy needs to hear it from you before he hears it from someone else. Better now than later.