DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Max," and I have been married for 12 years and have two precious children. We trust each other 100 percent. Our problem is we're friendly with a couple who have a 15-year-old girl, "Tina." Every time we go there, Tina throws herself at my husband.

The girl wears skimpy clothes, touches Max, makes suggestive remarks, and appears to really have "a thing" for him. He has told her repeatedly that he's not interested and that she's "just a kid," but she hasn't taken the hint to back off.

We've talked to her parents. They say we're reading too much into their daughter's behavior. My husband and I have argued over this, and it's putting pressure on our marriage. I don't want to give up our friends, but I also don't want my marriage to be wrecked by that little slut.

I know Max would never try anything with Tina, but she's the kind who might blame a man if she doesn't get what she wants. How can we get her to cool off? -- MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS IN BRITISH COLUMBIA

DEAR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS: Put as much distance as you can between yourselves and this couple -- or see them only away from their home. If Tina is capable of lying if she doesn't get her way, she's trouble. The smartest thing your husband could do is avoid her.

DEAR ABBY: I am unemployed and looking for work. Unfortunately, my field is shrinking. There is little opportunity for jobs in the future. I am considering returning to school and majoring in health care. It's something that has always interested me -- and it's a growing field.

My problem? My fiancee, "Phoebe," is dead set against me changing careers. She says it's not possible to go to graduate school and maintain a relationship. I find her attitude to be hypocritical since she has an advanced degree and a lucrative income.

I love Phoebe, but I'm tired of being poor and having no job prospects. I don't want to lose her; however, I am frustrated. I've tried talking to her. She won't discuss it and has given me an ultimatum: school or her. What do you think? -- JOB CHANGE IN VERMONT

DEAR JOB CHANGE: A woman who loves you should want what is best for you. Remaining in a field that is being phased out would leave you financially vulnerable. I urge you to return to school and safeguard your future. It appears Phoebe does not value your happiness, or she would have your best interests at heart.

DEAR ABBY: Our 15-year-old son, "Brian," just started dating a 14-year-old girl I'll call Jenny. They are both good kids. The problem is they have no hesitation about kissing in front of us or anyone else. They also snuggle on our couch whenever they can. Last night, they began kissing in the back seat of our car while my husband and I sat in the front. It was as though we weren't even there.

We feel Brian and Jenny are becoming too intimate too fast, and we're worried their hormones will supersede their better judgment. Fortunately, we have a very open relationship with Brian, but we don't know what to say to him about this. Any suggestions? -- TOO YOUNG TO BE GRANDPARENTS

DEAR TOO YOUNG: You bet. Get to know Jenny's parents and express your concerns to them. Both teens need to be involved in activities other than each other. Your son -- and Jenny -- also need to know everything there is to know about human reproduction and its prevention. (There are many books on the subject.) Do not depend on schools to perform this parental responsibility for you. Many schools now teach the students nothing beyond abstinence.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Doug," just revealed to me that for the past six months he's been using drugs. We've been together almost four years and our wedding is scheduled for next month. We are both in our early 20s.

Doug confessed that he has been using money we set aside for bills to buy drugs. He said he has also stolen money from our best friend for the same purpose.

He came to me on his own to tell me all this. Doug has always been a sweet, caring guy. I love him with all my heart, but I've lost my trust in him. Now I don't know what to do. I can hardly believe this is happening. I still want to marry him, but don't want to marry someone I don't trust. What should I do? I need an answer in a hurry. -- HURT AND CONFUSED IN FLORIDA

DEAR HURT AND CONFUSED: You have just had a peek at what life is like with an addict. Postpone the wedding indefinitely until your fiance has been through rehabilitation and is established in a 12-step program. You may love him -- and vice versa -- but there is a side to your fiance that you're just getting to know. I urge you to be sure he's clean before you make a lifetime commitment.

DEAR ABBY: Friends of ours, "Cindy and Josh," are moving a few states away and throwing a goodbye party for themselves. Are my husband and I required to take a gift to the party? They were married a few months ago, and we were very generous with their shower and wedding gifts.

Josh has been unemployed for more than a year. According to Cindy, he doesn't like to job-hunt, so he's waiting for something to "fall in his lap." On the other hand, Cindy has a well-paying, full-time job. They live rent-free in a house his parents own, and spend their money on sports memorabilia, stereo equipment, electronic gadgets, etc.

Neither one has a job waiting in the city where they're relocating, but they were given money by Cindy's parents to cover moving expenses and rent for the first few months. Cindy is hinting broadly that she expects cash as gifts.

I thought gifts were required only at housewarmings -- not farewell parties. However, my husband doesn't want us to appear cheap. Your thoughts, Abby? -- QUESTIONING COUPLE IN MISSOURI

DEAR QUESTIONING COUPLE: Although you are not required to take a farewell gift to the party, a token gift would be thoughtful. A small "jam jar" might be appropriate, because I predict they'll encounter more than one along the way. (A book on money management would also be appropriate -- and helpful.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 15-year-old freshman in high school. My problem is that my math grades stink. Each night I try hard to double-check my math homework, but when it gets graded the next day, I always end up missing six or seven out of 10 questions.

I've asked my parents for help. They say it's been too long since they tackled math, and it's beyond them. Help! -- GOTTA GET GOOD GRADES IN WYOMING

DEAR GOTTA GET GOOD GRADES: You need a tutor. A junior or senior math-whiz who's patient could help you turn things around. Talk to your math teacher or school counselor before you fall further behind. They're there to help. Good luck.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I would like to comment on the letter from "Jack of All Trades," who feels he is at a dead end because he has only a G.E.D.

I work for a college. Many of the students who come through our doors have G.E.D.s. We test the students to place them in classes for their level of learning.

"Jack" can get a degree, and he is never too old to start. Many older people are entering college for the first time today. He shouldn't hesitate. New classes begin all year long. -- BEVERLY P., WICHITA, KAN.

DEAR BEVERLY: I hope "Jack" sees this column, because many people reached out to help him. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was in "Jack's" shoes at one time. I had little education, no family and no direction.

It took determination to change my situation. I was married to an abusive man, had quit high school in 10th grade and had very little family support. I decided at 25 that it was time to take back my life.

I went to night school to get my G.E.D., then went on to college for eight years. After receiving my B.A. degree, I left my abusive marriage, landed a great job, and today I'm enrolled in an MBA program.

Good luck, "Jack"! You can do it. -- FINALLY EDUCATED IN TAMPA

DEAR FINALLY EDUCATED: It's success stories like yours that inspire others.

DEAR ABBY: This is in reply to the 32-year-old "Jack" who feels he has done nothing with his life. Sooooo? The average healthy American is living 80 or more years, which means "Jack" has about 50 to go. Now more than ever, nontraditional students are going to college for the first time. A college adviser is there to help in areas of financial aid and selecting a major -- and support groups such as SOS (Student Opportunity Services) help nontraditional students adjust to college life. -- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, BILLINGS, MONT.

DEAR BT/DT: Thank you for your helpful suggestions.

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Jack of All Trades" really hit home. I, too, struggled with everything. It turned out I have attention deficit disorder (ADD). My life is now changed and, at 35, I am back in college. I'm learning and growing in every way and every day. I can also sleep at night. -- RON IN TOPEKA

DEAR RON: You have made an excellent point. A person who has difficulty concentrating or is disorganized should be evaluated for ADD.

DEAR ABBY: My father moved out of the house last week and I am really hurting. What can I do to ease the pain besides the obvious: spend time with him on weekends, call him, etc.? I feel like I no longer have a dad -- even though I still see him at least once a week. -- FEELING FATHERLESS IN NORTH DAKOTA

DEAR FEELING FATHERLESS: Tell your father exactly how you feel. Your feelings are normal. Some family counseling sessions to ease the transition could be helpful for all of you.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)