DEAR ABBY: What on earth has become of college education when professors and teachers write that they use dear Abby for English courses? I am horrified that an English as a Second Language (ESL) teacher uses your column to teach foreign students our customs. WHAT customs? Unresolved anger? Sibling rivalry? Mistrust of spouses? Broken homes? Drunk driving? Homosexuality? Sexual abuse? Internet pornography? It is insanity that this is what foreign students use to gauge American culture.

Abby, what about the monogamous marriage that has endured hardships? The couple still devoutly loyal and faithful to each other? Kids who still have the same mother and father and are contributing to society? What about the people who give 100 percent of themselves for community involvement with no thought to themselves? You have even said yourself that some people accuse you of making up the letters because they are so bizarre. Some are R-rated at best. And this is what teachers use to teach English? God forbid!

No wonder people in other countries think Americans are idiots. If they get all their information from Dear Abby, they may not be too far off the mark. You may print my name. -- MICHELLE CRIPPEN, HARPERS FERRY, W.VA.

DEAR MICHELLE: Ouch! I cannot agree with you that the people who write to me are idiots. The problems they write about are human relations problems -- and not necessarily unique to the U.S.A. Furthermore, they make interesting reading -- and that, I think, is what motivates the teachers to use my column. By the time people reach adulthood, "See Spot Run" and "The Adventures of Dick and Jane" no longer hold their interest. Face it, my column has it all -- drama, human interest, comedy, sex, drugs -- and solid information that many people relate to.

DEAR ABBY: I am 16 and dream of becoming a voice for a Disney animated film. This is not some silly phase, Abby. I really want to do this. The only problem is, I have no clue how to get the attention of Disney. I have had little theatrical experience, and my school's drama program isn't the best. I have a good singing voice but have had no lessons.

I need your advice on what to do here. I have sent letters to Disney, but no response has ever come. Any suggestions you might offer would be great. Thanks. -- DISNEY DREAMER IN CONCORD, CALIF.

DEAR DREAMER: You're welcome. I checked with my friend, Tress MacNeille, who does voice-overs for "The Simpsons" and is the classic voice of Daisy Duck and Chip 'n Dale. She asked me to tell you that "longevity in a show business career can be measured by the amount of time spent PREPARING for it."

Do not attempt to do this straight out of high school. Study drama and speech in college, and work to sharpen your improvisational skills. Take every acting class you can. Be a reader and an observer, so you can pick up nuances of language in the mold of Robin Williams and Nathan Lane. And most important of all, remember this is not a part-time effort. Keep your eye on your goal. Good luck.

DEAR ABBY: Is it rude to open a drawer or medicine cabinet in the bathroom of someone's home? -- SNOOPY IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR SNOOPY: It certainly is, although many people do it anyway. It's also nosy -- and it's wrong. (But fascinating.)

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a Hindu woman living in the Bible Belt. Many of my friends and acquaintances are Christian, and they are all wonderful -- except for one thing. Some try in small, subtle ways to convert me to their faith.

With Christmas approaching, I know what's coming -- boxes of baked goodies with little brochures and pamphlets tucked inside all about Jesus and the Christian faith. I wish you would remind people that all of us in this diverse nation should respect the faiths of others. To try to convert someone to your faith implies that you consider your religious beliefs superior, and that is just plain wrong.

I know these gestures are well meant, but I wouldn't dream of sending Hindu brochures with my holiday goodies. Abby, what is a tactful, but firm, way of dealing with this? -- HAPPY HINDU IN THE BIBLE BELT

DEAR HAPPY HINDU: Much as you would like, you are not going to change people who feel it's part of their religious commitment to "save" you. Ignore the brochures and enjoy the goodies -- unless you have lost your appetite. If that's the case, donate the treats to a homeless shelter or take them to the office.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old boy facing a heap of problems this year. I'm taking some very difficult college-level classes. I don't have a great grade point average, but I manage to stay around 3.3.

I don't plan on applying to an Ivy League school, but Mom thinks I won't get accepted anywhere without at least a 3.5 GPA. She won't let me get a part-time job until I raise my GPA to 3.5 -- which means I am totally dependent on her for spending money.

Mom complains that I'm not putting in enough time on my schoolwork and that she spends too much money on me. I'd be glad to cover my expenses if she'd let me get a part-time job.

It may sound like it would be too hard to improve my GPA, but I'm working at it and I'm proud of my grades. I just don't know what to do about my mom. -- TROUBLED IN MISSOURI

DEAR TROUBLED: If there is a counselor at your school, ask him or her to speak to your mother about your grades as well as your prospects. Your mother is trying to be a conscientious parent and to see to it that you have a successful future. However, if you are working at your capacity, a compromise is in order.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Ken," and I have been together four years. We plan to become engaged during the holidays. Kenny is my heart and soul, and he feels the same about me.

I have one small problem. There is a guy at work I find very attractive. There's something about him that makes my mind wander "off-track." Is it only lust? I cannot imagine cheating on Kenny -- and I never would.

Is this attraction normal? Or does it mean I'm doubting my love for Kenny? -- NEEDS TO KNOW ASAP IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: It's normal. That's why the wedding vows read "forsaking all others." There is nothing wrong with being attracted to more than one person as long as you don't act on it. If this continues to trouble you, a couple of sessions with a counselor will help you to put things in perspective.

CONFIDENTIAL TO DONE WRONG IN WICHITA: Take the high road. Do nothing impulsive. Remember the words of Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626): "By taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing over it, he is superior."

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I work for a small company with 25 employees. Four of us are in the office all day -- all women. To put it mildly, I have never felt accepted by these "ladies." During this past year, they've been especially hateful to me. Other employees tell me it's pure jealousy.

My problem: The holidays are now here. What should I do about participating in the traditional gift exchange at the office? Should I buy each gal a gift out of the spirit of giving, even though I have no desire to do so? Or should I make it clear that I do not wish to exchange presents, which could make matters worse? I feel stuck, Abby. Please help me out. -- TO GIVE OR NOT TO GIVE IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR TO GIVE OR NOT TO GIVE: Buy a lovely pastry or some other treat that everyone in the office can enjoy. Include a card with it that reads: "My budget this year does not allow me to give individual gifts to each of you. -- Enjoy! Merry Christmas." That way, you'll have participated "in the spirit of giving" without feeling hypocritical.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 28-year-old single mother of five. I have been married and divorced three times. Right now that's the least of my problems. I've been dating "Gordy" for two years, and the idea of marriage has crossed my mind more than once.

Gordy loves my kids and they love him, but he says he's not ready to make the kind of commitment that comes with marriage. The kids are not the problem; I don't have custody. I get them only every other weekend and holidays, so it's not the responsibility of taking care of a big family that's holding Gordy back. He says he'd be OK with all that. I'm afraid my past three failed marriages bother him. All he's willing to admit is that he's "not ready."

Abby, I feel that I am ready. Should I sit back and give Gordy more time, or confront him and give an ultimatum? Please help. -- CONFUSED AND TIRED OF WAITING

DEAR CONFUSED: Let me get this straight. You've had three failed marriages and five children by age 26 -- and now, at 28, you're tired of waiting for yet another man to propose?

I should think you'd be grateful for the respite. Please take more time to get to know yourself better and get counseling to understand why your last three marriages failed before you embark on a fourth trip to the altar.

A final thought: Never issue an ultimatum unless you're prepared to lose.

DEAR ABBY: I am not an astronomer or a religious person. I just like to have a heart-to-heart talk with God whenever I am outdoors under the stars and moonlight sky. I think they make a great pair. Is there a religion that encourages this? Thank you. -- J.B. IN WATERLOO, N.Y.

DEAR J.B.: All religions encourage meditation -- which is what you are describing. You don't even have to do it under the moon and the stars. Talking to the God that dwells in your heart is enough, because God is everywhere.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)