DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Jared" for 14 years. We have two small boys. Last year (the day after Mother's Day) I found an explicit video of my husband having sex with a woman on our living room couch. I made him leave at once, and he was gone for two months.
Our youngest was only 2 at the time, and began throwing terrible tantrums -- biting, hitting, kicking. I finally let Jared come home with the understanding he would sleep in another room downstairs. The next thing I knew he was back in my bed.
I can honestly say I no longer like my husband. He is always angry, and nothing I do is ever right. However, since he makes a great deal more money than I do, if we split up, our children would have to do without things they're used to. How could we, without making them suffer, Abby?
I know it would be better for the boys if Jared and I stayed together, but I can't stand for him to touch me. Please help. I want to break this hold he has on me and the kids. -- COMPLETELY MISERABLE IN COLORADO
DEAR COMPLETELY MISERABLE: (1) Try to find a higher-paying job. (2) Get child care. (3) Seek marriage counseling. If your husband refuses to go, go alone. (4) If his behavior doesn't change, consult a lawyer.
P.S. If necessary, your counselor will help you to guide your children through the adjustment to their new circumstances. Good luck.