DEAR ABBY: I am a 25-year-old single man with a good career, even though I never finished college. I have no children and own my own home.

From time to time I have considered joining the military, and I am close to making a decision.

The service could provide me with technical skills, plus I could finish my education without having to take out a hefty loan. Overall, the experience sounds appealing. However, the truth is, I'm scared about what's going on in the world. Even so, I'd still be willing to serve.

My family and friends hate the idea. They think I've lost my mind, and say it's the worst thing I could do with my life right now. I am really stuck. The recruiter is pressuring me to decide "now or never," and my family and friends say I'll be making a mistake that could kill me or make me miserable for the next four years.

Please help me to decide, Abby. My mother always said you spoke the truth and gave good advice. -- NOT IN BOOT CAMP YET

DEAR NOT IN BOOT CAMP YET: There are no easy answers to your question. This isn't something anyone else can answer for you. Yes, there ARE risks. There are also rewards. I urge you to investigate thoroughly before you sign anything and do not allow yourself to be pressured.

DEAR ABBY: I think I am being discriminated against at my school because I'm 16, a sophomore, unmarried and pregnant.

Because of my pregnancy, I'm getting into trouble because I'm missing school days to go to my doctor's appointments. The teachers think I won't be able to participate in school once my baby is born. I've already told them I'm not dropping out, nor am I marrying the father yet. But they can't seem to get it through their heads.

The teachers are sending letters to my mother telling her how many days I've missed. I've only been absent five this semester. I'm tired of it. My mom's tired of it. And so is my boyfriend. I'm scared to go to school because I'm afraid they are going to say something negative to me and I'm going to get angry and say something I'll regret -- and they'll kick me out. Please help. -- D.B. IN OHIO

DEAR D.B.: It's going to take a joint effort on the part of you and your mother. Demonstrate that you CAN keep up with your schoolwork and maintain an acceptable grade point average during your pregnancy. Schedule doctor's appointments after school hours whenever possible.

Your mother must make clear to the faculty and administration that she expects them to give you the education to which you are entitled. She might also investigate the possibility of special programs for pregnant students, which are available in many school districts.

DEAR ABBY: Last summer, my boyfriend and I attended the out-of-town wedding of a good friend. When I danced with the groom, he began running his hands all over me! I was shocked and tried to pull away. My boyfriend saw everything.

Since my return home, the groom has been sending me inappropriate e-mails. I keep e-mailing him back telling him to stop or I will tell his bride. I do not want to lose her friendship, but she should know what he is doing. What would you do? -- FELT UP IN PHILLY

DEAR FELT: Since he has not heeded your warning, forward the e-mails -- all of them -- to his wife.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 37-year-old single mom of one. For the past seven years I've led a secret life, because the man I'm in love with is married. (I'll call him Mike.) Mike made a commitment to me to love me forever, and I believe him. He gives me the world.

My family loves Mike to death. They think we should be married because we make such a "perfect couple." They do not know he's married. I've kept this secret from them all these years. Mom went to her grave not knowing Mike has a wife.

I should mention that this man is 18 years my senior. When I met him, his marriage was "on the rocks." Mike was up-front with me about how he would never divorce because of his kids. He doesn't love his wife.

It's been a wonderful seven years. He's the only guy I've ever loved. I can't get enough of him. Should I sit tight and hope a divorce is in the future? -- I'VE GOT A SECRET IN TEXAS

DEAR I'VE GOT A SECRET: From what you have written, your lover has clearly stated that he does not intend to divorce his wife. I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. He appears to like things just as they are.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of two years, "George," is a terrific person. I have a teenage daughter, "Jill," from a previous relationship who lives with us, and they've always gotten along beautifully.

About two years ago I had a falling-out with my sister and we didn't speak more than 10 words until last week, when she offered me a truce. I gratefully accepted.

The problem is that Jill continued a relationship with my sister while we were feuding, and my husband found out about it. George won't forgive and forget. He hasn't talked to Jill in a week, and I have been caught in the middle. Yesterday I upset George further when I failed to give him my full attention, and now he isn't speaking to me either! Abby, what can I do to restore the peace in our home? -- TIRED OF THE TENSION, AKRON, OHIO

DEAR TIRED: I don't approve of your husband's tactics. The terms "passive aggression," "manipulation" and "withholding" all come to mind. Your daughter is old enough to have the right to carry on a relationship with any relative she chooses. As to how to restore peace in your home -- family counseling would be helpful.

DEAR ABBY: My parents get drunk every weekend. Dad's OK by Monday morning, but Mother stays drunk all Monday and Monday night.

Is this normal? I need to know in a hurry. I'm afraid to give you my name and address. -- TEENAGER IN MOBILE, ALA.

DEAR TEENAGER: Your parents' behavior is NOT "normal." They need help -- and so do you. Please talk to a trusted aunt, uncle, neighbor, minister, the parent of one of your friends, a teacher, nurse or coach at your school. A responsible adult needs to know what is going on in your home and how it is affecting you.

In addition, check your phone directory for the Alateen listing. The organization provides information and emotional support to young people in your situation -- and right now you need support from understanding friends.

Please let me know how you are doing. I care.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I live and work in the Maryland area where a majority of the sniper shootings took place. I want the world -- and the murderers -- to know that in the terrible days of fear and uncertainty before the arrests, the people of this area came closer together than I ever thought possible. Law enforcement worked countless hours overtime. Adults used their own bodies to shield children going into schools in the morning and out at the end of the day.

On the morning of the last shooting, I had to take my car to the garage. I was not prepared to leave it overnight and had not arranged for transportation home. No one I called for a ride was home. I was amazed when a total stranger offered to give me a lift. As we drove, we talked. We had a lot in common, including feelings of despair at the senseless loss of life and pain that had been forced on all of us during the shooting spree.

Abby, I offer this example of kindness to the families and friends of each victim, along with this message: The evil of two brought out the kindness and compassion of thousands. Our pain doesn't compare to yours, who tragically lost your loved ones, but please know you are in our hearts and prayers. -- KAREN GILLETTE, HYATTSVILLE, MD.

DEAR KAREN: That's very well said. No one in any part of the country could watch the news without feeling empathy for the families of the victims and the fear experienced by those living in the areas that were affected.

DEAR ABBY: I was married last June. My husband and I are both 34. Last weekend, he got together with his buddies, went out drinking, and brought home two condoms he hid in his sock drawer. I found them yesterday. We do not use this method of contraception, and I went through the roof.

He swears he hasn't slept with anyone and does not intend to. He says his friends had them and he simply took a couple, not really thinking it was a big deal.

I feel that it IS a big deal. He must be contemplating something if he bothered to keep them. I feel that I made a huge mistake trusting him enough to marry him. He says he is sorry and didn't mean to hurt me. What should I do? -- HURT AND ANGRY IN BOSTON

DEAR HURT AND ANGRY: If your husband hadn't thought it was any big deal, he wouldn't have hidden the condoms. What happened may have been innocent, but you're entitled to know exactly what was going on in reality and in your husband's head. Some sessions with a counselor may be able to help you two communicate with each other in a nonjudgmental environment. The sooner, the better.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 19 years. Our relationship has been going downhill for some time. We've been to three marriage counselors, but no one seems to be able to help. We have two wonderful sons, 9 and 5.

I am very unhappy with my marriage and want a divorce, but our elder son, "Jacob," was diagnosed with leukemia last summer. The guilt I feel because of my ill child is overwhelming. I love him more than life itself.

Jacob's cancer is being treated successfully and the outlook is good, but I fear the effect that a divorce would have on him and our younger son. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- SAD DAD IN INDIANA

DEAR SAD DAD: Get a referral from the medical center where your child is being treated and make an appointment with a child psychologist to find out how a separation at this time would affect your son in his recovery. After that, you'll know what to do, and when to do it.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)