DEAR ABBY: I am a 35-year-old single woman who has had terrible luck with men. I've always been attracted to great-looking guys who turn out to be complete jerks.

I have recently started to get to know a man who works for the same company, but in another city. We talk on the phone several times a week because of our jobs. He is nice, kind and has a big heart. We finally met last week. I introduced myself and we talked like old friends. We didn't even realize there were other people in the room. He called me the other day and asked me out. I'm really excited about it.

Here's the catch: My co-workers tell me not to go out with him. They say he is not "my type" -- that he's not good-looking enough. Abby, I want to go out with him and get to know him better. His looks don't matter to me. (I think he may be "the one.") I love my co-workers and usually care what they think. Now I don't know what to do. Help! -- LOOKING FOR LOVE, NOT LOOKS

DEAR LOOKING: "They" won't have to live with him. You will -- if he is indeed "the one." And remember, real beauty is from within.

Go out with him and get to know him, but take plenty of time before deciding he's your Prince Charming. First impressions can be misleading. Love may be blind, so use your head in addition to your heart, and you won't go wrong.

DEAR ABBY: Last summer, before we were married, my fiance, "Justin," and I had a conversation that led to him telling me that he thought my mother was prettier and more sexually attractive than I am. I was devastated. I am the spitting image of my mother. He later apologized for what he said and we moved on. However, it took me months to regain my self-esteem to a point where I could even look at myself in the mirror.

Justin has always been the type to prefer older women. In fact, he has dated several. (He is 6 1/2 years older than I am.) I cannot help but feel he would rather be with my mom. It doesn't help matters that my mother is the biggest flirt I know. She flirts constantly with Justin, and when I confront her about it, she tells me I am "overreacting."

Even now, after more than a year, I still get bouts of depression that leave me feeling worthless. Although I know he loves me, I feel he will never look at me and see someone as sexy and beautiful as my mother. What do I need to do to get over this? -- HURTING IN CANADA

DEAR HURTING: You need to get counseling, because you must come to terms with your relationship with your competitive and insecure mother and the damage she has done to your self-esteem.

You ARE the one your husband wants to be with. But I don't think you will truly accept that fact until you have resolved, with professional help, your relationship with your mother. Please don't wait. You'll be glad you did.

DEAR ABBY: I am planning to propose to my girlfriend of five years. Do I need to ask her father's permission? And when is the appropriate time to do so? -- JACK IN LONG BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR JACK: Asking the girl's father for permission to marry her is a charming but somewhat outdated custom.

First, ask your girlfriend -- and then the two of you should approach her parents with the happy news.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My brother just turned 16 and is learning to drive. He has already run over a chipmunk, a garbage can and our fence.

Yesterday, my father asked my brother to drive home in our brand-new van. My mom and I were terrified. I started yelling, "I'm too young to die!" My mother told him to pull over because she was afraid she was going to "hurl."

Abby, what should I do the next time I have to be in a car he is driving? Help me! -- GOING BANANAS BECAUSE OF BRO

DEAR GOING BANANAS: You should never get into a vehicle with anyone -- your brother included -- unless you are certain the person is a safe driver. And your brother should not be behind the wheel unless he is accompanied by an adult who can supervise his driving.

It appears your brother still has a lot to learn -- and he may need some additional lessons from an accredited driving instructor.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 38-year-old white-collar professional who works in a stressful and demanding position. I cherish my time off (nights, weekends and holidays). I need to unwind and rejuvenate myself.

The problem: my mother. She also leads a hectic life filled with ongoing responsibilities, which include running her own business in addition to managing several apartment buildings she owns.

Whenever there is a problem with one of her rentals, she complains about everything she has to take care of. Then she'll ask me to help her out fixing plumbing, changing locks, etc.

Abby, my mother nets in excess of $250,000 per year. I have offered to find a handyman to assist her, but she gets upset and says, "It costs too much to hire someone."

Mom tries to make me feel guilty by telling me that the day will come when I'll inherit everything she has. What should I do to keep the peace? -- OVERWHELMED IN ORLANDO

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Your peace of mind is more important than "keeping the peace." Tell your mother that with all of her responsibilities, she needs a handyman -- and if that means you inherit less, so be it. Then offer again to help her find one.

DEAR ABBY: Please help me. I am scared about my feelings. I am 32, married and emotionally and physically attracted to my 18-year-old cousin, "Peter." He has been vacationing in our home this summer. Since he's been here we have had wonderful conversations -- he hasn't left my side. The truth is, Peter makes me feel wanted, loved and happy.

Abby, please explain what I am going through. I've been so caught up with Peter that I have neglected my husband. Is this an early midlife crisis? -- TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT

DEAR TOO CLOSE: No. You are getting admiration, compliments and validation from someone who is idealistic, enthusiastic and youthful. That can be a pretty heady cocktail for someone who is thirsty.

Ask yourself why you are vulnerable, and you'll have the answer to your question. You and your husband would benefit from marriage counseling. It will give you both an opportunity to explore your feelings. Call today for a referral from your physician.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: How does one make friends after college? This may seem like a dumb question, but I'm having a hard time.

Right after I graduated, I married a wonderful man and moved halfway across the country, leaving all my close friends behind. Having been raised an Army brat, I never had trouble adjusting to new situations until now.

My husband is my best friend and a great companion, but I miss having girlfriends in my life -– to cry over silly movies with, and go shopping, and share "girl talk."

I am working two jobs, so time is scarce, and I don't have the money to join a gym so I can meet people. My day job provides limited contact with the public, and at both jobs my co-workers are decades older than me.

So far, the only people I've met my own age are all single, and they like to party and do singles things. I'm happy with my guy, so of course I'm not into that.

Ideally, I'd like to meet other couples so I can make some female friends, and we can send "the boys" out to do macho things. I'm hoping you can help me, Abby. -- FRIENDLESS IN THE TEXAS PANHANDLE

DEAR FRIENDLESS: Please don't write off the possibility of forming friendships with older people. They can be great mentors and can also have children or extended family who are your age.

Since your time for socializing is limited, consider exploring relationships at your place of worship or among your husband's co-workers.

DEAR ABBY: My children are grown. They moved out a few years ago, but now they're back. They do not want to take care of themselves, and do nothing physically or financially to keep the house in order.

I would like to sell my home and work overseas for one year in my profession. If I don't do it now, I never will.

Please tell me how to get these overgrown "children" out of my house and off my back. They have their own money and they have friends. I don't know how to handle this. I'll take your advice. (I have for years.) -- USED MOM IN MINNESOTA

DEAR USED MOM: Be firm. Give your adult offspring a deadline to be out. Then put your house up for sale and take the job overseas. Please don't feel guilty for doing so. You have earned the right to experience your dream. Your children are adults now. It's time they learned to survive on their own. It's an important part of growing up.

DEAR ABBY: I was dating someone special for six months. I'll call her Meg. I fell deeply in love with her and thought we had a future. Meg said she loved me, too.

A few weeks ago, she got upset with me and said I wasn't smart enough or intuitive enough to know she needed $3,000 to buy a car. Meg said if I really loved her, I would have picked up on her "hints" and given her the money without hesitation. The truth is, I probably would have, but I'm not a mind reader. Now she's done a complete 180 on me and hung me out to dry.

Abby, Meg never calls me "honey" or "sweetheart" anymore, and never seems to have more than a moment to spend with me. I love her, but don't know what to do. I don't know how much more rejection I can take. What do you make of her behavior? -- BLINDSIDED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR BLINDSIDED: Count yourself lucky. You are finally seeing the real person beneath the loving facade. Bluntly put, your lady friend is a gold digger. Ease your broken heart with the thought that you're $3,000 ahead of the game. This "romance" was not meant to be.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

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