DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for five years and have been dating the same sweet man for a year and a half. We have lived together for a year and are very much in love.
My problem is he doesn't want to get married, and I can't make him understand that I need a commitment and stability in my life. He says he IS committed, but he won't buy me a ring.
Am I being selfish or foolish for wanting to marry him? -- LET DOWN IN UTAH
DEAR LET DOWN: I see nothing foolish or selfish about wanting a secure future and the benefits that go along with being a wife instead of a live-in.
If you're willing to settle for the current arrangement, continue as you are in the hope that one day you'll wear him down. However, if marriage is really what you're after, tell him that it is becoming clear your goals are different. You want marriage, but the only thing he seems "committed" to is more of the same. Then move out. If he loves you, he will be willing to make a serious commitment. If he doesn't, it's better you know sooner rather than later.