DEAR ABBY: I am a day-care provider working out of my home. Most of the children I watch belong to friends. One friend -- I'll call her Jodie -- announced that she was quitting work and would no longer need me to care for her infant son.

Then Jodie had a family emergency and asked me to baby-sit for a few hours. She had five other so-called emergencies over a two-week period. She left her child here about five hours each day, during my normal working hours.

My question: Should Jodie have offered to pay me for the time her son was in my care? My husband calls me the Good Samaritan and thinks Jodie took advantage of me. I say we're friends, and I wouldn't have taken the money anyway. What do you think? -- GOOD SAM IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR GOOD SAM: I think you have been a sympathetic friend and Good Samaritan long enough. You are also a businesswoman who deserves to be paid for her services. It's time to draw the line -- and don't feel guilty for doing so. Jodie may be a friend, but your husband is your BEST friend.

DEAR ABBY: My father died two months ago and left his belongings to my mother. My siblings have begun to request some of them. Most of the items have little or no monetary value, while others are worth a considerable sum.

I believe Dad's belongings should be distributed by my mother when she is ready. When my father was alive, he refused to give my sister something she wanted -- and now she says she's just going to take it. I am very uncomfortable with this and don't know what to do. What are your thoughts? -- FEELING PAIN IN MAINE

DEAR FEELING PAIN: The items are your mother's to do with as she wishes. Discuss it with her and see how she feels about these requests. If your mother feels she's being taken advantage of, help her to resist the pressure. If not, accept the fact that the items are going where your mother wants them to go -- and express to her what you would like.

DEAR ABBY: I married a high school friend a year ago. I had remained single for 12 years after my divorce, and I wanted to be sure I married a great guy this time. In almost all ways, he is a terrific husband.

The problem? I keep finding porn sites in the history files on my computer, and also Yahoo profiles of young girls. He promised me in the past that he would not do it anymore. I wouldn't mind as much if we had a sex life, but it is pretty much nonexistent. Your advice would be appreciated. -- WIFE WITH A PROBLEM IN MINNESOTA

DEAR WIFE: Your husband has substituted impersonal computer sex for a mutually satisfying sex life with you. And if he is conversing with or meeting underage girls, he is also breaking the law.

Tell him you know what he has been doing and offer him the option of counseling. If he refuses, you have a serious decision to make about the future of the marriage. I hope this story has a happy ending. It depends on how invested he is in your marriage and how strong his addiction to cyber-sex may be.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a married man in my 30s, with two adorable little babies at home. My sex life with my wife is very good. I have no complaints at all. My problem is my feelings.

I love my wife and do not cheat; however, I desire other women. I have an instinctual desire to procreate. I can't afford more babies. In fact, my wife and I do not want more children.

Other women -- even women I find unattractive -- arouse me. As a result, I avoid looking at female co-workers and have become very disconnected at work. Even though I don't act upon my instinctual urges, I still wrestle with them.

Abby, how does a man get past this? Every woman I see makes me feel like I am in heat. -- FIGHTING TESTOSTERONE IN TWIN FALLS

DEAR FIGHTING: Schedule an appointment with your physician to find out of there's a physical reason your hormones are in overdrive. If your problem isn't physical, ask for a referral to a psychotherapist who can help you to understand this obsession before it negatively impacts your career or your marriage. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am a college freshman. I am very happy. However, there is a large void in my life that I would like to fill. Abby, I want a baby. Not just any baby -- I want a particular man's baby for genetic reasons. I have asked him to help me, but he says he has to think about it.

I do not want anything from this man other than his seed. I tell him that after I get pregnant, he can walk away and never look at me again. I am not trying to tie him down or ask for child support.

How can I convince this attractive man that I really do not want anything from him but the privilege of bearing his child? -- LOOKING FOR FULFILLMENT

DEAR LOOKING: This isn't the answer you're looking for, but you are jumping the gun. As a college freshman, have you given serious thought to the emotional, physical and financial obligations you'll undertake along with motherhood?

It's imperative that you finish your education before taking on the added challenge of being a single parent. Once you are established in a career, you'll be better able to afford the help you'll need. It's a myth that one woman can "do it all" without compromise.

DEAR ABBY: The "birds and bees" stories in your column have given me great amusement. I have one from a different angle.

I was writing a story set in the Old West, and as research for it (with some reservations) I asked both my widowed grandmothers, who were born in the 1890s, about their sex education. They were both happy to share.

One said that her mother had told her nothing. She had learned everything from female cousins and books.

The other grandmother said that her parents had been quite modern for their time. They had told her everything. Here she paused and thought for a moment. Then with a twinkle in her eye, she said, "But they neglected to say what a rewarding experience it could be!" -- MARY ALEXANDER, SACRAMENTO

DEAR MARY: Your grandmother's parents believed in the element of surprise.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR READERS: I have been inundated with innovative uses for pantyhose since the first letter on the subject appeared in my column last year. Talk about a versatile product! Read on for a sample:

DEAR ABBY: I am a plumber. For years I have suggested my customers put an old pair of pantyhose on the end of their washing machine drain hose, if it drains into a sink. This method traps any lint, thereby preventing clogged drains. -- BOB'S PLUMBING SERVICE, SPRINGFIELD, MASS.

DEAR ABBY: When I was about 4, my grandma gave each of my siblings and me the lumpiest quilts we'd ever seen. They were also the warmest.

One of the quilts tore between the patches, and -- curious children that we were -- we began pulling out the stuffing. The quilt had been stuffed with dozens of old pantyhose. What fun we had pulling them out. Our laughter finally gave us away, and Mother duly reprimanded us, but the memory remains as warm as the quilt. -- "QUILTED" IN PLEASANT HILL, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: When a female friend complained about her wrinkles in a photo I had taken of her, the solution was simple: The next time I took her picture, I stretched a piece of nylon hose over the lens of the camera. This method softens the subject's appearance. An expensive lens filter can be purchased for the same purpose, but I like the pantyhose better. -- VEGAS PHOTOGRAPHER

DEAR ABBY: I always had a problem keeping my nightcap from slipping off my bald head, so I put my wife's cast-off pantyhose to good use:

I tie the legs together, make relaxing scissor cuts around the waist, and wear them on my head with the waist hugging my bald head. Then I loop the legs under my chin and behind my neck.

One of our nieces who lost all her hair during chemotherapy laughed long and loud when I shared my tip with her on how to keep her head warm at night. However, after trying my invention, she was hooked. -- ALAN L. IN TENNESSEE

DEAR ABBY: For years I took church youth groups and Girl Scout troops on camping trips. We would put a bar of soap in the toe of an old pair of pantyhose and tie it to a tree limb near a wash basin and bucket of water.

Presto! The soap never melted or fell to the ground and got dirty. The girls would wet their hands, rub them over the soap in the stocking, then rinse the bar. The soap stayed clean and never got lost. It's a great idea for campers. -- JO IN CINCINNATI

DEAR ABBY: After giving my AARP-aged body a good workout at my local gym, I was changing into street clothes when one of the new members noticed that I was pulling on a pair of pantyhose.

Confused to see a gentleman donning a lady's garment, he asked, "When did you start wearing THOSE?" I replied, "Right after my wife found them in the glove compartment of my truck." -- JOHN IN ST. PAUL

DEAR JOHN: AARP-aged body, my fanny! That joke is older than both of us.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)