DEAR ABBY: While terrorism remains on the minds of Americans in the wake of the 9-11 tragedy, millions of other people silently cope each day with another form of terror. They are survivors of torture.

More than half a million of these people live in the United States. They are individuals and families who have suffered for their belief in democracy or their membership in a particular ethnic or political group, often at the hands of dictatorial foreign governments.

Their scars are both physical and mental, but with the help of 30 torture treatment centers nationwide, they are putting their pasts to rest. While Sierra Leone and Somalia seem a world away to most Americans, survivors of these war-torn countries are increasingly becoming our friends and neighbors, teachers and ticket-takers, all of whom are building new lives for themselves.

According to Amnesty International, torture is used in more than 150 countries. Individuals suffer horribly at the hands of their captors from torture designed to silence entire communities. It is used as a weapon to eliminate dissent. Its goal is to breed fear and destroy human rights, often to gain or retain political power.

Please, Abby, let your readers know that help is available for those who need it. Those willing to help end these senseless acts can learn more about this frighteningly common practice and how to help stop it by visiting www.cvt.org. Thank you. -- DOUGLAS JOHNSON, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, CENTER FOR VICTIMS OF TORTURE, MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR DOUGLAS: Tomorrow, June 26, marks the fifth U.N. International Day in Support of Victims of Torture, and I'm sure that many of my readers will be interested in learning more about this. It's easy for those of us who have lived our lives in a democratic country to envision victims of torture as people who are in distant lands. The fact that more than half a million victims of this kind of repression are literally our neighbors may come as a surprise to many people.

Our country is truly a refuge for "huddled masses yearning to breathe free." Those who wish to add their voices in protest of man's inhumanity to man and hasten the end of this barbaric practice should visit the Center for Victims of Torture Web site.

DEAR ABBY: This is a letter of thanks and a warning.

For Mother's Day, my adult children and spouses brought all the fixings to my home for a barbecue. I didn't have to do a thing. We had a wonderful time, and everyone went home by 9 p.m.

Around midnight, I was awakened by the sound of sirens and got up to see where the fire trucks had stopped. To my horror, they were parked in front of my house! One of my sons had cleaned the barbecue grill, swept the hot ashes into a paper bag, put them on the wooden deck and forgot them. They smoldered for hours, causing my deck to become engulfed in flames. That's the warning.

My thanks go to the unknown neighbor or passer-by who called 911 and saved our lives. -- NADINE MEEHAN, SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR NADINE: Talk about throwing cold water on a warm memory! Embers should be disposed of in a metal container with water or allowed to burn out in the barbecue.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been a camp director for 14 years. I strongly disagree with one of the suggestions offered by "Frustrated in Georgia" to parents when selecting a camp for their children.

She suggested that if parents "drop in" on a session and are not permitted to see their little camper in action, the parents should ask WHY they cannot be allowed to meet their children, wherever they happen to be at the time.

Security is a big concern. To limit intruders, everyone must check in at the office. Also, it has been my experience that if kids see their parents -- or even other kids' parents -- it can trigger homesickness.

The rest of the advice to parents was excellent, but I would like to add two more suggestions:

First, make sure that your camper is never allowed to wander without supervision.

Second, encourage your camper to follow safety rules, even if you don't agree with the rules.

Example: We ask our campers to wear socks and closed-toe shoes because of the terrain. Tops with sleeves are also a requirement, in order to limit sunburn at high elevations.

You would be amazed how many parents don't agree with these rules and let their children know it! Those are the kids we have the hardest time keeping safe.

We've had parents scoff because we limit desserts, try to serve healthy food, and ask each child to drink water instead of soda pop at every meal. Parents send bags of candy with their kids and instruct them not to tell the counselor. Abby, near our campsites, there are bears that love candy.

Please let parents know that most camp employees are dedicated to keeping their children safe and healthy, but we need their support. -- CALIFORNIA CAMP DIRECTOR

DEAR CAMP DIRECTOR: When everybody knows the rules in advance and follows them, a lot of confusion and misunderstanding can be avoided. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I worked at a camp for several summers and would like to add further suggestions for parents:

(1) Check to see if the camp is accredited by the American Camping Association. I had to go through a couple of the accreditation visits, and they are rigorous. Plumbing and sleeping facilities are thoroughly checked, and random interviews with counselors take place to ensure that everyone is well versed on safety precautions and procedures.

(2) If you have a problem with the camp, let the camp director know. Those in charge may be unaware of the problem, and there is no way to remedy it if they are not notified.

Thanks, Abby. -- FORMER CAMP COUNSELOR

DEAR FORMER CAMP COUNSELOR: Thank you for bringing this organization to my attention. The ACA accredits more than 2,000 camps, all of which must comply with up to 300 standards for health, safety and program quality. Its mission is to educate camp owners -- particularly in the area of health and safety -- but also to assist the public in choosing camps that meet both industry-accepted and government standards.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "DAIRY QUEEN" IN DUBUQUE: "If happiness truly consisted of physical ease and freedom from care, then the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; it would be, I think, an American cow." -- William Lyon Phelps (1865-1943).

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for eight years, and have recently become good friends again with my ex-husband. He has always been an attentive father to our 11-year-old son.

Last year, after a second divorce, my ex hooked up with a woman half his age. She's a 21-year-old ex-stripper who hasn't worked a day since she met him. I'm not one to pass judgment, but this gal is a clingy, lazy gold-digger who spends my ex's money like it grows on trees. She's also moody, demanding, and a "party animal," according to our son and my ex's other son.

The problem lies with our boy. He detests this female. She tags along for every father/son event and refuses to stay at home even when my ex drives our boy back and forth for visitation.

Our son's birthday is coming up, and I am throwing him a party. He really wants his dad there -- but NOT his dad's girlfriend. His dad doesn't want to hurt her feelings, and I don't want to cause any scenes. How can I resolve this? -- FAITHFUL FLORIDA READER

DEAR READER: OK, your ex's girlfriend is flawed, insecure and ever-present. If you bring up her shortcomings again, he will only become defensive.

Encourage your son to explain to his father how important it is to him to spend some time alone with him. Most boys need one-on-one with a role model -- a time for "man to man" conversation and bonding. The presence of a third party, regardless how ravishing she may be, prevents this. And while he's on the subject, he should tell Dad the nicest gift he could have for his birthday would be the woman's absence at his party. It may not work -- but I guarantee it will open up some interesting dialogue.

DEAR ABBY: I have read letters in your column from former students about teachers who inspired them and made a positive difference in their lives. However, my story is the opposite.

In my sophomore year of high school, my algebra teacher warped my thinking regarding mathematics. On more than one occasion, she informed me that I was a "stupid sophomore," and would "never amount to anything more than a patty flipper."

This woman had taught for many years, but no one in my class ever asked questions for fear of being ridiculed in front of everyone. Students who were in her classes long before me said she had always been like that.

I am now 25, a college graduate, and have a good job in the medical field. If there are any teachers reading this, PLEASE remember that what you say can stay with your students the rest of their lives. More emphasis should be put on the importance of good teachers and how much they are needed by new generations.

That teacher made a difference in my life, and it was anything but positive. I often wonder if I would have been better in math had my experience been different.

Thanks for letting me vent, Abby. Sign me ... DISGRUNTLED STUDENT WHO HASN'T FORGOTTEN

DEAR DISGRUNTLED: You have written an important letter. Young people often judge themselves by reactions they receive from others.

I saw a similar incident when I was an eighth-grader. In front of the class, my teacher predicted that an awkward young man "would never amount to anything." Of course, the students laughed at him -- and I learned later how devastating it was for him because his mother and mine were close friends.

The story has a happy ending, however. The boy grew up and became a successful lawyer. The only "failure" was the teacher, who didn't recognize potential when he saw it.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)