life

Safety Takes Back Seat in Car Ads Aimed at Teens

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 23rd, 2002 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I am a pediatric nurse-practitioner. In the past few years, I have seen more and more car advertisements featuring teen-agers not wearing seat belts. The most blatant was one with four prom-goers standing with their upper bodies sticking out above the sunroof of a limo. I should think the insurance industry would be having a fit that the media could be so irresponsible about a serious safety issue.

Teens do not comprehend their own vulnerability. This makes it almost impossible for parents to get them to wear seat belts when ads like these make it seem glamorous not to. Many parents believe their children "always" wear seat belts, only to discover the truth after a tragic accident.

Motor vehicle accidents are the No. 1 killer of adolescents -- not drugs, not suicide or homicide. With spring here, and proms fast approaching, we need to keep stressing the importance of wearing seat belts.

No parent I talked to had seen the prom ad. Public opinion stopped the oversexualizing of underwear ads a few years back. I'd like the same thing to happen with ads that glamorize the non-use of seat belts. -- JOAN BUCHANAN

DEAR JOAN: Yours is a timely letter. Prom and grad nights are again upon us -- and it takes only a second to buckle up.

The souvenirs of prom night should consist of dried corsages and boutonnieres -- not physical scars, broken bones and shattered lives. And while we're on the subject of responsible advertising, read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am appalled at the number of commercials depicting four-wheel-drive vehicles conquering dangerous terrain -- "going where no other car has gone before." The commercials convey the message that you can cross streams, fly through blizzards, dodge carnivorous animals or climb ominous mountain peaks. Some commercials are downright ridiculous.

I have lived in snow country all my life. I am presently the owner of an SUV and have owned other makes depicted in the advertising. They are necessary to my lifestyle. My concern is the message they send to young or inexperienced drivers. This includes the adult driver who is chemically impaired.

The statistics reveal that a high percentage of accidents -- many fatal -- are caused by the misuse of these four-wheel-drive vehicles. Drivers mistakenly believe they are invincible -- driving too fast for the conditions, trying to maneuver in places they shouldn't be, and in general, abandoning common sense.

My son (an experienced teen-age driver) attempted to cross a stream in his Jeep. The commercial presented it as an easily accomplished feat. His vehicle became stuck, creating a dam of water that entered the air filter and destroyed the engine. He was, however, one of the lucky ones. Only the vehicle sustained major damage.

Perhaps the automakers should follow their commercials with a list of the deceased or badly injured who attempt these feats and fail. I believe they need to rethink their enticing invitation to test the limits behind the wheel. -- LIZZIE IN MONTROSE, COLO.

DEAR LIZZIE: I agree. Such ads create a false impression and should be toned down in the interest of public safety.

life

Dear Abby for May 23, 2002

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 23rd, 2002 | Letter 2 of 2

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Woman's Online Lover Has Right Words, Wrong Moves

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 22nd, 2002 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: For the past three months, I have had a long-distance relationship with a man I met through an Internet dating Web site.

He claims he's not interested in meeting anyone else, but has not yet deleted his Internet profile. He still receives e-mail from women -- and has continued to meet them -- all the while insisting he wants a serious relationship with me!

This situation is making me very uncomfortable. While he says all the right things, I cannot completely trust him.

When I confronted him, he said these women are just looking for friends (oh, really?), and he feels sure about where to "draw the line."

What do you think, Abby? Should I trust him? -- HANGING IN THERE IN TUCSON

DEAR HANGING IN THERE: No. You are looking for an exclusive relationship, while he is still looking -- period. Actions speak louder than words, and it's clear that he's not leveling with you.

life

Dear Abby for May 22, 2002

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 22nd, 2002 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: Last week, I visited my Aunt Bess in Mississippi. She is a great cook and served a delicious trifle to us and the 30 or so relatives who came for the family reunion. Although the dessert she presented was wonderful, I was disappointed she hadn't served the wonderful fresh fruit dessert she served last summer when my children and I visited. I told her how much we had enjoyed the fruit dessert and asked her for the recipe. Sadly, she said she no longer had it. She said she had loaned her Dear Abby Cookbooklet to a friend who had subsequently lost it.

Abby, does a fresh fruit dessert ring a bell with you? If you give me the recipe, I'll send her a copy -- or better yet, how can I get your cookbooklet? I'm sure with a recipe that good, your cookbooklet must have others that are also outstanding. -- TRICIA IN TAMPA, FLA.

DEAR TRICIA: As a matter of fact, it does ring a bell. That dessert has always been a favorite summer taste-treat in my family. It's called Summer Surprise Dessert and is extremely easy to make.

My cookbooklet set can be ordered by sending a business-size, self-addressed, stamped (57 cents) envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

Fruit is plentiful in the markets now, so I'll go ahead and give you the recipe for the Summer Surprise Dessert, and since you've made my mouth water, I may make one for myself this weekend.

SUMMER SURPRISE DESSERT

1 cup fresh seedless grapes, halved

1 cup fresh whole blueberries

1 cup fresh strawberries, halved

1 cup fresh peaches, cut in bite-sized pieces

1 cup firmly packed brown sugar

2 cups dairy sour cream

In shallow 9-by-12-inch glass dish, combine all fruit and mix well. Sprinkle brown sugar over the fruit. Top with sour cream. Cover with plastic wrap; refrigerate 3 to 4 hours or overnight. The sour cream will seep through the brown sugar to the fruit.

To serve, gently stir the fruit; spoon into sherbet glasses.

TIP: Any combination of fruits may be used: fresh plums, kiwi, raspberries, pitted bing cherries, etc. However, FRESH peaches, FRESH grapes and FRESH blueberries are a necessity. Frozen or canned fruits are NOT recommended.

life

Stranded Travelers Encounter Kindness of Many Strangers

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 21st, 2002 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: On Sept. 10, 2001, my husband and I flew to Las Vegas for a three-day mini-vacation. Then 9/11 happened. Along with millions of other American citizens, any plans we had were changed.

Our three-day holiday extended into five days of utter confusion. Guards were stationed everywhere in the casino of our hotel. It was necessary to make many trips to our room to assure family members by phone that we were all right. Each time we used the elevator to go to our room, we had to show proof that we were guests of the hotel before being allowed to proceed.

We also had to rebook our flight, as our original departure had been canceled. Finally, on Sept. 15, we were able to schedule a flight home. As we left our room for the last time, I looked down and saw two shiny 2001 pennies lying in the doorway. Somehow, finding those pennies made me less apprehensive about flying. They are now tucked away along with the story of where we were on that fateful day.

When we got to the airport, we saw weary travelers standing patiently in line for blocks. I would like to offer special thanks to the airport employees who worked diligently to get people to their departure gates.

My husband must use a cane for any extended walking or standing, and a nurse in our line alerted airport personnel that he needed a wheelchair. One was provided as soon as possible. He was then directed to wait inside the terminal while I was told to go to the end of the long line and meet him when I got to the doorway. A wonderful young man close to the front offered to trade places in line so I could have his place. Abby, he had been waiting there for hours.

Those are just two incidents of kindness and generosity we experienced that day. Whoever and wherever you are, thank you again. -- MR. AND MRS. GEORGE CULLINS, GRATEFUL OHIOANS

DEAR MR. AND MRS. CULLINS: Thank you for sharing your experience. It shows that sometimes tragedy has a way of bringing out the best in people.

life

Dear Abby for May 21, 2002

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 21st, 2002 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I debated, but I finally decided the woman who wrote about wanting a "sparkler" on her 25th wedding anniversary needs to know my story.

My friend, hero and love proposed to me by quoting Shakespeare in a valentine. He was finishing his master's degree and there was no money for an engagement ring. Instead, he gave me his fraternity pin, and we married with matching gold bands in 1953. Each year, on Valentine's Day, we would mention something about renewing our marriage contract for another year. It was our ongoing joke.

On our 25th anniversary, he took me to dinner at our favorite neighborhood restaurant. The conversation that evening covered many topics -- our pride in the accomplishments of our four children, their upcoming marriages, etc. He then asked me if I would be engaged to him for the next 25 years -- and presented me with the engagement ring he couldn't afford 25 years earlier. We planned to renew our vows on our 50th anniversary, but God called him after only 47 years together.

Abby, it certainly isn't the biggest "sparkler" in the world -- but it's the most precious possession I own. -- KAY BELL, WESTMINSTER, COLO.

DEAR KAY: I'm not surprised. It symbolizes the wealth of love and accomplishment you and your beloved husband shared together.

life

Dear Abby for May 21, 2002

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 21st, 2002 | Letter 3 of 3

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

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