DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago I decided to place my child for adoption. I was 19, unmarried, and did not have the means to support a baby.

Your Mother's Day column that year included a tribute to mothers who unselfishly placed their children for adoption. I cut it out and have carried it in my wallet ever since. I know other birth mothers would also find comfort from reading it. Would you consider printing it again? -- JULIANA IN BOISE, IDAHO

DEAR JULIANA: With pleasure.

DEAR ABBY: I hope you will use my letter on Mother's Day as a tribute to those brave, unselfish mothers who have placed their babies for adoption.

I am a new mother whose heart is overflowing with gratitude to a 15-year-old girl I have never seen. I understand that she is a beautiful, intelligent person who became pregnant accidentally and decided on her own that her baby should have a better life than she was able to provide, so she agreed to allow her baby to be adopted.

As soon as our son is able to understand, I shall tell him about his "real" mother and what a courageous person she is.

In the meantime, I pray daily for her well-being and good fortune. Sign me ... BLESSED

DEAR BLESSED: Thank you for an appropriate letter for Mother's Day. I agree that placing a child for adoption for his or her own good is the ultimate in unselfishness. God bless those mothers who do.

DEAR ABBY: My mother just finished reciting the same speech she gives every year as Mother's Day approaches. It begins, "Now please don't throw your money away on a gift for me ... I don't need a thing."

Abby, I know my mother doesn't "need" anything, but I enjoy giving her presents, and it takes the pleasure out of it for me when she displays this attitude. I wish you'd tell mothers that children of all ages enjoy giving gifts on Mother's Day, so please accept them graciously. -- SOMEBODY'S DAUGHTER

DEAR DAUGHTER: Your mother's attitude is typical of many other mothers. She would probably prefer that you use the money to buy something for yourself. However, that doesn't mean Mother's Day should not be celebrated with a gift.

This year, write your mother a letter telling her how much you love her and what life-lessons you have learned from her example. I'm sure if you do so, she will treasure it as long as she lives.

DEAR ABBY: What is the significance of wearing a single carnation on Mother's Day? -- FLOWER CHILD

DEAR CHILD: A red carnation is worn to signify that one's mother is living. A white carnation signifies that one's mother is deceased.

There should also be an identifying flower worn by those mothers who choose motherhood by raising a foster child, adopting a child or raising a stepchild.

And a special place in heaven awaits those mothers who chose a child with an "imperfection," knowing that children with physical or mental challenges not only have special needs, but also require a superabundance of love, understanding and patience.

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Kids' Friend in Oklahoma" cautioned parents about allowing their children to travel with junior sports teams. Obviously, he or she never had a child involved in travel sports.

My 12-year-old son has participated on a travel hockey team for the past six years, and our family has never regretted the decision to let him play. His team schedule involves traveling from one to three hours for nine games -- and staying "home" for the last one. In addition, there is occasionally an out-of-town tournament or two that requires overnight travel.

Abby, these travel games have given my family the very things that "Kids' Friend" suggested would be taken away. While traveling to and from the games, our family spends several hours in the car talking with each other (without interruptions from TVs and telephones), building relationships and memories. We shop for souvenirs or see the sights and have lunch together. We have traveled overnight to several different states -- even Canada. In addition, our children have expanded their friendships with youngsters from other schools, neighborhoods and churches.

Limits are important. In our household, each child is limited to two organized group activities a year, but cannot participate in the two during the same time period. In addition, grades must be maintained and religious education must be balanced with weekend activities. On overnight trips, we arrange with the schools ahead of time for our kids to be away and do their homework while traveling.

Allowing a child to participate in travel sports can be educational and rewarding -- not only for the child, but the entire family. It has nothing to do with having "the guts to say no," being "overeager" or "starry-eyed" -- and everything to do with being a responsible parent, setting limits, and teaching children how to budget their time and make the most of every opportunity. -- HOCKEY MOM IN JOHNSTOWN, PA.

DEAR HOCKEY MOM: Thanks for the other side of the issue. Obviously in your family no one has gone off the deep end and forgotten the importance of getting an education. In life, healthy balance is everything.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have friends who are being married in May. After sending out invitations in late February, they decided to inform each guest (either by phone or in person) that they would be charging $120 per person to attend.

We would like to go, but not if we're going to be charged admission in addition to a wedding gift.

Have you ever heard of such a thing, Abby? Is this tacky or what? -- NOT-FOR-PROFIT WEDDING GUEST IN CHICAGO

DEAR GUEST: Tacky? Very! At that price, their wedding will be the most expensive show in town. I wouldn't blame you if you had "an unavoidable change in plans." But let them know quickly so they can sell your seats to someone else.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 43 and deeply in love. For five years I have been dating a 57-year-old man I'll call Ray. When Ray enters a room, I honestly feel my heart skip a beat. Although we do not live together, we share many of the same interests and have lots of fun together.

My problem is that Ray has a mean streak. If I complain, he has a sarcastic answer or turns it around and blames me. For example, I was diagnosed with cancer last fall and needed emergency surgery. The day after my surgery, Ray left on a 10-day golf trip with his buddies. I felt alone and abandoned. When I told him how I felt, he said my illness couldn't have been that serious because I survived.

Ray likes to be around his friends and family but rarely includes me. When I suggest that I'd like to be a more important part of his life, he tells me I am too "clingy." In our five years together, I have spent several Christmases and most Valentine Days alone, and I sit around while he takes numerous vacations with other people. Ray tells me he loves me, but doesn't want to marry me. Dating is a comfortable arrangement for him.

He gave me a diamond "friendship ring" for my birthday. I am too embarrassed to wear it. My family, friends -- and I -- expected an engagement ring.

Do you think I am being jerked around? -- OUT-OF-SORTS IN OTTAWA

DEAR OUT-OF-SORTS: You bet I do -- but you have allowed it to happen. The diamond ring (are you sure it's genuine?) is a "payoff" so you won't notice that you really have neither a healthy relationship nor someone you can count on. Even if the stone is genuine, the man is a phony. As soon as you lose this loser, you'll start to feel better. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I have a problem on our hands. Saturday night we invited a couple and their two kids over for dinner. The husband/father works with my fiance.

The kids (girls 11 and 15) were upstairs watching TV in our bedroom a good portion of the evening, while the adults were downstairs visiting.

Last night I was about to run to the market and asked my fiance for some cash. He told me to take some out of his wallet. I came back saying, "Since you have only $5, I'll cash a check while I'm out." He immediately replied that there should be at least $60 in there.

Apparently three 20s were removed from his wallet, which had been sitting on our dresser in the bedroom the night the kids were there. We also discovered a diamond ring and pair of earrings were missing from my jewelry box.

Since my fiance works closely with the father of those girls, we're not sure if and how we should approach him. We're afraid if one or both of the kids were brazen enough to take things, they won't be forthcoming about admitting it to their parents if we call them on it.

Please tell us what to do, Abby. We are very upset. -- RIPPED-OFF IN PLEASANTVILLE, N.Y.

DEAR RIPPED-OFF: The father of the girls should be told by your fiance about the missing items and money. It may not be pleasant, but it will be better for all concerned.

Explain that unless the items are returned, you will have to make a police report in order to be reimbursed for the jewelry by your insurance company. And if the items aren't forthcoming, that's exactly what you should do.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)