DEAR ABBY: Two different professional counselors have told me my husband is emotionally abusive. I just don't see it.
In 25 years of marriage, we've hardly ever fought. The reason? I always let him have his way to avoid conflict. He makes everything out to be "my fault," and I've always assumed that he's right.
Sometimes I'm afraid to have a confrontation with him, but it's not because he has ever hit me. He says he loves me and I believe him. Does this sound like emotional abuse to you, Abby? I would be grateful for your opinion. -- SAD AND CONFUSED IN SAN PEDRO, CALIF.
DEAR SAD AND CONFUSED: What you describe is emotional abuse on your husband's part and lack of self-esteem on yours. Your coping method has been refusal to defend yourself -- or accepting undeserved blame.
I hate to put you on the spot, but I'm willing to bet you have done many things RIGHT during the marriage, for which you deserved to be praised. Ask yourself, "Why did my husband keep silent?"