DEAR ABBY: I am writing to you as a last resort. Please print my letter so I can get help. I am a young teen who feels like committing suicide.

My parents work long hours and provide a roof over our heads and food on the table, but we spend hardly any time together. While I have suffered no physical abuse, I've been hurt by my mother's verbal abuse. I think I'm depressed because in a survey I took at school, I matched the profile of a person suffering from depression.

I can't tell my parents, although I have tried numerous times. When I told Mom I wanted to see a psychiatrist, she said "no." I've tried talking to teachers but nothing works. Is there something I can do without involving other people? No matter what I say, no one takes me seriously. My friends think I'm joking when I tell them how I feel.

I want help -- I want to live -- but if there's no help, there's no point. I've thought about suicide a lot and put a knife to my wrist. I've hurt myself by hitting a wall and injuring my hand. Sometimes I cut my fingers, but people always believe me when I say it was an "accident." I'm tired of living a lie, Abby. Please help. -- DESPERATE IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR DESPERATE: Since you did not provide me with your location or telephone number, I am limited in what I can offer. Pick up the telephone and ask the operator to connect you with the local suicide hotline. Tell them EXACTLY what you have told me, and that I suggested you call. They will respond to your cry for help.

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago my beloved wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. The shock, numbness and despair set in for both of us while she pursued aggressive and exhausting treatment.

The constant worry and trips to and from medical appointments took their toll on both of us. Our three young daughters and family members rallied to help us in every way possible, but it all became too much.

We were barely holding our own, when a newfound friend approached us about allowing a group of soccer moms to prepare some meals for us. At first, we were reluctant to accept this kindness, but we finally relented.

Soon the word got out. The soccer moms were joined by grammar school moms and others who wanted to help. Many wonderful people pitched in.

Each evening at exactly 5 p.m., our back doorbell would ring and a complete fully cooked meal would be there! Most of the time, these thoughtful people would leave before we could answer the door, because they didn't want to intrude. We were amazed at what these folks did for us, considering they were busy with their own families.

This unbelievable display of kindness continued uninterrupted for more than four months. Those meals -- and the overwhelming generosity of the volunteers -- meant the world to my family.

A surprising lesson from this experience was shared at a thank-you tea party that was held after my wife's recovery. One of the guests profusely thanked ME for allowing her to be of service! She said it taught her that true happiness and fulfillment comes only from helping others, and that her life was better for it.

There are so many nice people in this world, Abby. I know because I've met them! -- JOHN IN MELROSE, MASS.

DEAR JOHN: Thank you for an upper of a letter. It's important to accept help when offered. People WANT to assist in a patient's recovery. Providing meals or offering transportation are practical ways to help.

DEAR ABBY: I was inspired by the "Old-Timer's Bedtime" poem about the elderly couple who slept in their birthday suits. It inspired me to share what happened to me:

The poem about the couple

Sleeping in the nude

Was really quite revealing

And it put me in the mood.

I talked about it to my wife

And we tried it, bit by bit --

But with "branches entwined," we quickly saw

Our legs just didn't fit.

And then what happened, Abby,

Is something that we all dread --

Our branches got so tangled

That we fell right out of bed!

-- VIC MABRY, LAKE HAVASU CITY, ARIZ.

DEAR VIC:

I don't doubt for a minute

What you've said to me is true --

I only hope the two of you

weren't bruised all black and blue.

I offer this advice to you --

And take it, please, I plead.

To you and your beloved --

Don't try everything you read!

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law has two family pictures of my husband and his ex-wife hanging on their living room wall. We have been married for nearly three years and have a 2-year-old daughter. She is starting to look at the pictures. We would prefer that she not find out by looking at pictures that her father was married before. (There were no children from the previous marriage.)

I told my husband that I would like the photos to come down. He agrees, but his family doesn't deal well with "family dynamics." He still has not told his parents how I feel about the photos, and we are scheduled to visit them again next month. I trust your advice. -- LOOKING FOR HELP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR LOOKING FOR HELP: Pick up the phone and explain to your in-laws that your young daughter is old enough to notice her father with another woman in the photos -- but too young to understand prior marriages. That's a reasonable explanation to justify your request that the pictures be taken down -- at least when you're visiting.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of the bride and I just made a whopper of a mistake. When we were planning the wedding, the groom's parents gave me an "A" and a "B" guest list. After budgeting carefully, we realized we could only afford to invite guests on the "A" list. Unfortunately, I mistakenly sent "save the date" cards to everyone on the "B" list.

Is there any way I can undo the damage I've done? I feel terrible about it. -- GUILTY MOTHER OF THE BRIDE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR GUILTY M-O-B: There is no graceful way to "take back" the implied invitations without offending people. Either take out a loan or downsize the reception to accommodate everyone.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, my husband was promoted, but it required our relocating to another state. Our daughter, "Alicia," is an honor student and involved in many activities. Because she's a junior in high school, she was reluctant to change schools in the middle of the year. My mother-in-law, "Claire," lives in the same school district, and offered to let Alicia live with her after we moved. Alicia and Claire are close, and my husband and I thought it was a good plan.

Last week, we flew in to surprise Alicia at her "sweet 16" birthday party. We were shocked to see our daughter answer the door smoking a cigarette. Alicia admits that after we moved, she was curious about smoking and asked Claire (a pack-a-day smoker) for a cigarette. Claire has been buying Alicia cigarettes ever since. (Claire says she doesn't like to smoke alone.)

Abby, I don't know who is more to blame -- Alicia for starting to smoke, or Claire for encouraging it. I am ready to take Alicia back with us, but my husband disagrees. He says while she made a foolish mistake to start smoking, Alicia is no longer a baby and should be able to make her own decisions -- even if they are bad. I admit I used to smoke as a teen-ager, but it took me 20 years to quit. I don't want my daughter to have the same struggle. Any suggestions? -- CLEARING THE AIR IN NEW YORK

DEAR CLEARING THE AIR: Your daughter isn't the only teen-ager to try smoking. What's unusual is that her smoking was encouraged by her grandmother. You are right to be concerned about her grandmother's poor judgment.

However, I see no reason to panic. I urge you and your husband to have a long talk with Alicia and Claire -- set some specific ground rules -- and then allow your daughter to finish her junior year living with her grandmother. You can revisit the question of her accommodations for her senior year during the summer.

P.S. Contact the American Cancer Society and ask them to send the facts and information about the health dangers of smoking to BOTH Alicia and Claire. They could use some education.

DEAR ABBY: "Hurt and Mad in Okemos, Mich." asked you about taking legal action against a former boyfriend who had given her a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Her gynecologist had told her that the STD could cause cancer. You advised her to see an attorney.

Here's another piece of advice: She and her ex-boyfriend should have their heads examined! Twenty years into the AIDS pandemic, people engaging in unprotected sex with someone whose sexual history and health status they do not know as well as their own risk far more than an infection that might lead to cancer. And yes, that applies equally to those who engage in "serial monogamy" (being faithful to a series of partners, one at a time).

Although "Hurt and Mad" did not say whether she and her ex had engaged in sex under the influence of alcohol or drugs, too many people still do. Abby, PLEASE remind your readers that this practice increases risks for unplanned and unprotected sex, unwanted pregnancy, hepatitis, HIV/AIDS and other STDs. -- RODGER L. BEATTY, Ph.D., PRESIDENT, NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF LESBIAN AND GAY ADDICTION PROFESSIONALS

DEAR DR. BEATTY: You're right. You put it short and sweet, and that's why I'm printing your letter.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)