DEAR ABBY: I am confused and don't know where to turn. I became engaged several months ago to a man I have lived with for more than a year. My fiance has known for several years that I chose to remain childless because I spent most of my youth raising my siblings. We try to take an active role in the lives of our nieces and nephews and have recently become godparents.
With the wedding date fast approaching, my fiance has become more and more vocal about his desire to adopt children. He says it would give him the focus he needs in life. It is my opinion that if my fiance feels this strongly about raising children, we should end our engagement, and he should find a woman who shares his dream. I have communicated this to him many times, but he insists he wants to marry me even if it means no children. Should or shouldn't I marry this man? -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: You and your fiance share a different view of what your marriage should hold. If you marry, one of you is bound to feel cheated. No one who doesn't sincerely want to be a parent should adopt a child. It is unfair to the child. In my opinion, you both would be happier in the long run if you found more compatible spouses, but only you can make that decision.