DEAR ABBY: It looks like the laugh is on me. Months ago, while reading your column in the morning paper, my husband and I had quite a laugh about the 90-year-old woman who recycled everything and found an unusual use for the "panty" part of control-top pantyhose. She said she used them "to keep her 90-year-old breasts under control." (She'd cut off the legs, cut out the crotch and wear the remainder like a strapless bra.)

A couple of weeks after that letter appeared, I broke a rib in a horseback riding accident. Aside from the pain and shortness of breath involved, I couldn't wear a bra without great discomfort. I tried every bra on the market to no avail. Being well-endowed, going braless was out of the question. I may not be 90, but I'm no teen-ager.

Thanks to that letter, I was able to return to work without embarrassment and in relative comfort while mending. I salute that woman and you, Abby, for letting the world know. You provided a workable, economical answer for both men and women in similar situations. Broken ribs, breast surgeries, you name it. When you need light support without binding, THIS WORKS. -- GRATEFUL AND NO LONGER LAUGHING IN OREGON

DEAR GRATEFUL: Thanks for the testimonial. Recycled pantyhose can be a godsend in more than one kind of "medical emergency." Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Not everyone will have a use for this, but it is a solution for the person with a mastectomy who wears a breast enhancer in the bra.

The breast form is slick, and it can be very embarrassing if the bra is a little loose and the form slides out and drops to the floor. This happened to me twice.

I took a clean knee-high nylon, slipped it over the form, and folded the top across to make a little more filler for the bra. After that, I had no more worries. It was the perfect solution for me. -- ANOTHER RECYCLER, SUGAR CREEK, MO.

DEAR RECYCLER: Bless you for sharing your solution, and bless the inventor of nylons and pantyhose. Something tells me there may be a run on both.

DEAR ABBY: While we're on the subject of pantyhose, here's my experience:

I was driving down the highway in the 1950s with my fiancee by my side, when she decided to look into my glove box. Much to her surprise, she found several nylon hose of various shades.

I assured her that, since I was a painter, I carried them with me to use as paint strainers. I would cut off a section and tie a knot at one end.

After 60 years in the painting business, I still carry hose in the glove box of my truck. You never know when they'll come in handy. -- CLEAN-CUT PAINTER IN SHERIDAN, WYO.

DEAR CLEAN-CUT PAINTER: That's for sure! I've been known to carry an extra pair of "sheers" in my purse in case I snag the ones I'm wearing, which never fails to happen when I'm determined to look my best.

DEAR ABBY: Last fall my doctor prescribed a splint for my wrist; however, it had Velcro fasteners that caught on the sleeves of my fleece jackets.

I cut off one leg of some old pantyhose, cut a hole for fingers and a thumb, and pulled it up over the splint. Presto! No more problems. -- IMOGENE KANE, AVA, MO.

DEAR IMOGENE: Very clever. I've also known doctors to prescribe a sock or the leg of hose be used over a cast or splint to protect it from becoming soiled.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: Last week, my 87-year-old Great Aunt Grace was transferred from the hospital to a convalescent facility for therapy following surgery. Her children all live far away. Because she is so special, I told them I would visit her often and take care of her needs. Shortly after her transfer, I visited her and asked if there was anything she wanted me to bring from her home. She asked me to bring her a couple of family photos and a booklet that she kept in her nightstand. She explained that when she was blue, reading it cheered her up.

Abby, it was your "Keepers" booklet. When I took it to her, she asked me to read to her from the booklet, because her glasses had been broken in the fall that fractured her hip. We both got a much-needed laugh from "The Monkey's Disgrace." Some of the pieces about children moved me deeply.

I would like to have a booklet for myself. I couldn't find it at the bookstore. Where can I get it? -- OLLIE IN CARSON CITY, NEV.

DEAR OLLIE: Thank you for the kind words about my booklet. It can be ordered by sending a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus a check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 62054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

P.S. For those who are curious about "The Monkey's Disgrace," read on:

THE MONKEY'S DISGRACE

(Author Unknown)

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree

Discussing things as they are said to be

Said one to the others, "Now listen, you two,

"There's a rumor around that can't be true

"That man descended from our noble race

"The very idea is a great disgrace.

"No monkey has ever deserted his wife

"Starved her babies and ruined her life.

"And you've never known a mother monk

"To leave her babies with others to bunk

"Or pass from one on to another

"Till they scarcely know who is their mother.

"Here's another thing a monkey won't do

"Go out at night and get on a stew

"Or use a gun or club or knife

"To take some other monkey's life.

"Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss

"But, brother, he didn't descend from us."

DEAR ABBY: My husband I have been happily married for four years. Recently I made the mistake of telling him about my wild sexual past, and now he doesn't trust me! I was only trying to be honest. Is this fair, Abby? -- MISUNDERSTOOD WIFE IN NORWALK, CALIF.

DEAR WIFE: It's not fair, but bear with it until your insecure spouse calms down and wises up. He is now comparing himself to all of the men you have slept with. Your husband doesn't view himself as the beneficiary of your vast experience. How shortsighted of him.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: After reading "Used in Jonesboro, Tenn.," about the woman who married a man who had lied about his past, I feel compelled to share my story.

I, too, asked all the right questions. Here's what I later found out:

His first wife left him and got the child he didn't care about. The second wife, who gave him two children, got a thousand bucks and an old car when he decided it was time for wife No. 3. Wife No. 3 left when it was time for wife No. 4. He sold the house she had paid for from her previous husband's life insurance. Wife No. 4 got nothing except the joy of meeting wife No. 5. Wife No. 5 is now deep in credit card debt and will have to work a long time because her retirement money is missing. Wife No. 6 (me) lost not only retirement money, but a house and car that were paid for. It was his turn to make the car payment, and he let it be repossessed. (He did, however, "find" the money to make the payment on his pickup.)

There's a lot more misery I could share, but it would curl your hair. -- USED UP IN TEXAS

DEAR USED UP IN TEXAS: I believe you. If it's any comfort, you're not alone. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have a male relative who has been legally married and divorced 13 times. He is in his 50s, has three college degrees and is very charming.

I've met many of his wives. What amazes me is how gullible they are. They are lonely, Christian women who believe everything he says. What seems to trip them up is that he immediately offers marriage, and they see this as the ultimate commitment. Ha! When they do start asking questions, he leaves them saddled with huge debts and takes off. -- STUNNED OBSERVER

DEAR STUNNED: Why are you stunned? A common denominator with sociopaths is their abundance of charm. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Ten years after my divorce, I decided it was time to start dating again. I met a nice man. We dated steadily, sharing our life stories as we went. However, early on I caught an inconsistency in his marriage history, so I decided to check him out.

Marriage, divorce and property transactions are all public records, so a trip to my county courthouse was all I needed. I discovered he had been married not once, not twice, but at least five times.

I also learned that he did not own the home he claimed was his. There's no telling what other lies I would have uncovered had I kept looking. It gave me great satisfaction to tell this guy in no uncertain terms that he'd been "busted."

Later, I began dating another man. Once again, he and I shared our life stories, and I wasted no time in visiting the courthouse. The people who worked at the courthouse were most helpful. They directed me to the proper offices and helped me find the information I was looking for. Abby, every detail was exactly as he told me. Eventually we married, and we share a happy life.

At first he was offended that I had checked out his story. To this day, he teases me about it. But I'm proud that I went into our marriage with my eyes wide open, and I encourage everyone to do the same by taking advantage of public records. -- SMART IN CINCINNATI

DEAR SMART: Good for you! Public records can eliminate not only private pain but public embarrassment.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)