DEAR ABBY: My husband and I will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary in a few months. When he asks me what I want, how do I hint to him that I'd like a modest engagement ring without having to come right out with it? I have never had one, and I have never taken off my wedding band during our entire marriage. In fact, I have never worn another ring on my hands out of respect for my wedding band. I would like a small "sparkler" to go along with it, but I'm embarrassed to tell him. It seems almost greedy.

Although we probably should keep all our savings for retirement, we could be frivolous and spend several hundred dollars without breaking the bank. I have put jewelry ads where he can see them, but he doesn't notice them. -- SEEKING A SUBTLE SUGGESTION IN FLORIDA

DEAR SEEKING: Your husband isn't a mind reader, and if you expect him to pick up on a hint, you're taking a big gamble. When he asks what you want for your 25th anniversary, tell him the truth. Tell him you would like a tasteful, sparkling diamond ring to add to your wedding band -- to symbolize the jewel of a man you married so many happy years ago. It's the truth, and I hope it has the desired result.

DEAR ABBY: Back in 1993, I was in ninth grade attending high school in northern Delaware. I was a shy kid and somewhat depressed. I never had much to say, nor felt my opinions mattered.

One day in math class, the teacher called on me to answer a math problem. Out of the blue, a boy who sat several rows away said out loud, "You should talk more. You have a nice voice." I was in shock -- in a good way! Someone had given me a compliment!

It was, and still is, one of the nicest compliments I've ever received. It made me feel valued. I still smile whenever I think of it.

If that young man happens to read this, I thank him from the bottom of my heart. -- STEPHANIE IN DELAWARE

DEAR STEPHANIE: I'm pleased to pass along your message. A simple compliment can change a life. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My 99-year-old aunt gave me this poem. It was written by my grandmother, Cecile Harris, who was born in 1868. I call it "Grandma's Words of Wisdom."

For some kind word I do not say

A heart goes lonely on its way.

Those words of praise I do not speak

May make another's courage weak.

My friendly thought I do not share

May leave another in despair.

The words that burn, the hurt that sears

May live to haunt me through the years.

What loads I lift, what joy I spread

May live long after I am dead.

My grandma was a wonderful lady. I can recall no unkind comment she ever made. -- BONNIE THOMA, YUBA CITY, CALIF.

DEAR BONNIE: Your grandmother not only had a way with words, she was a wise woman.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a librarian in a medium-sized public library, and I'm losing my patience about one particular issue.

Parents who wouldn't dream of dropping off their 5- and 7-year-olds at the mall or grocery store bring their youngsters to the library and let them roam freely throughout the building with no supervision, or drop them off to fend for themselves while Mom and Dad go shopping or run errands.

To those negligent parents, I want to yell: The public library is not a "safe place" to leave your child unattended! Libraries are public buildings; anyone off the street can enter. I know of at least one convicted child molester who is a regular user of this branch, and there are probably more that we don't know about.

Public libraries are a popular choice for child molesters and "peepers" to frequent and search for victims. Parents, please do not leave your little ones alone at the library. We librarians have jobs to do, and although we care deeply about the safety of your children, we are not baby sitters.

Thank you for helping me get the message out, Abby. -- CONCERNED LIBRARIAN, ANYTOWN, U.S.A.

DEAR LIBRARIAN: You're welcome. It's hard to imagine a parent who is so irresponsible as to take a small child to a public place and leave him or her unsupervised. That said, if I were the concerned librarian, I would contact the local police and notify them that a child has been abandoned on the premises.

DEAR ABBY: We are Mothers of the Military. Our sons and daughters are the Army, Marines, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard, Reserves and National Guard going into Afghanistan to protect our freedom. They are fighter pilots who drop bombs on the Taliban and protect the skies here at home, Navy cooks on the ships, infantry here and abroad, and the Coast Guard protecting our shores. They have many jobs, from private or seaman to general or admiral. All branches and all ranks are equally important; they are our sons and daughters.

During this time of uncertainty, we support each other in person and on the Internet. We laugh and cry together and know that there is always someone who shares our fears and joys. If you have never sent a child to war, it is hard to imagine either the cold terror that you feel or the joy at seeing them come home.

Our slogan is, "As one we are weak, together we are STRONG." We help anyone who has family in the military by networking them with others in their areas or finding someone for them to write to. There is almost always someone online on the Internet site, and we have chat rooms nightly. We would like to invite any who wish to join us -- and that includes fathers, siblings, grandparents, anyone!

Thank you, Abby, for sharing our cause with others. -- ETTA LOVE, MOTHERS OF THE MILITARY

DEAR ETTA AND OTHER MOTHERS OF THE MILITARY: I wish you success in your support effort. Although I have never sent a child off to war, I empathize with the stress all family members feel when they send someone they love into danger -- regardless of how noble the cause.

Readers, Mothers of the Military (MOM) can be reached via the Internet at www.mothersofthemilitary.com or e-mailed at mothersofthemil@aol.com. Those who do not have computers can write the organization at P.O. Box 65015, Lubbock, Texas 79464.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Our son was married last year. There were many out-of-town relatives from the bride's family, plus a large wedding party. Once the parents and grandparents of the bride and groom were added to the list, close to 80 people attended the rehearsal dinner. We did not invite family members who didn't have a part in the ceremony, although spouses of the wedding party were included.

A few weeks before the big day, my husband's Uncle Charlie (who is close to 80), let us know he was very hurt not to be invited to the rehearsal dinner. He made it clear he expected us to make an exception for him because he and my husband have always been close. My husband explained to Charlie that if we made an exception for him, we would risk offending other relatives who were not included. He seemed to accept the decision.

It has been many months since the wedding, and it's obvious that Uncle Charlie is nursing a grudge. At family gatherings, he takes every opportunity to challenge anything my husband says to belittle him. He even collected articles on wedding etiquette, invited my husband to lunch and tried to get him to read them.

If my son gets wind of this, he won't tiptoe around Uncle Charlie's feelings as his dad has always done. There will be a permanent rift in the family.

Abby, is there anything I can do or say to resolve this? -- THE PEACEMAKER

DEAR PEACEMAKER: I doubt it. It is precisely for people who feel they deserve to be the "exception" that the rules of etiquette were written in the first place. There is no way to reason with narcissistic, self-centered individuals because they must always be right.

It is not your job or your husband's to make up to Uncle Charlie for his imagined slight. He owes your husband an apology, not the other way around. But please don't hold your breath waiting for it.

DEAR ABBY: As ardent readers of your column, my wife, Pamela, and I feel we must attest to the absolute truth about the "drunken geese" story you have printed.

It is, indeed, a true story and hundreds of years old. The geese were, in fact, ducks -- owned by an innkeeper in Hawkshead in the Lake District of England. The inn is still there and is named "The Drunken Duck." It's complete with a beautiful pub sign showing the ducks clothed in fitted woolen hand-knit garments. My wife and I have dined frequently in this charming pub, which, by the way, offers superb food. -- BRIAN KERR, PORT CHARLOTTE, FLA.

DEAR BRIAN: Some stories take on a life of their own. Thank you for setting the record straight. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The person who wrote and said the drunken geese story was first told in a book by Richard Brautigan should do more research.

The fact is, Jerry Clower told this story from 1957 until the day he died in 1997. I don't like it when people don't know what they are talking about. -- VERY UPSET IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR VERY UPSET: Neither do I. I wonder if Jerry had been to England.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)