DEAR ABBY: I am a librarian in a medium-sized public library, and I'm losing my patience about one particular issue.

Parents who wouldn't dream of dropping off their 5- and 7-year-olds at the mall or grocery store bring their youngsters to the library and let them roam freely throughout the building with no supervision, or drop them off to fend for themselves while Mom and Dad go shopping or run errands.

To those negligent parents, I want to yell: The public library is not a "safe place" to leave your child unattended! Libraries are public buildings; anyone off the street can enter. I know of at least one convicted child molester who is a regular user of this branch, and there are probably more that we don't know about.

Public libraries are a popular choice for child molesters and "peepers" to frequent and search for victims. Parents, please do not leave your little ones alone at the library. We librarians have jobs to do, and although we care deeply about the safety of your children, we are not baby sitters.

Thank you for helping me get the message out, Abby. -- CONCERNED LIBRARIAN, ANYTOWN, U.S.A.

DEAR LIBRARIAN: You're welcome. It's hard to imagine a parent who is so irresponsible as to take a small child to a public place and leave him or her unsupervised. That said, if I were the concerned librarian, I would contact the local police and notify them that a child has been abandoned on the premises.

DEAR ABBY: We are Mothers of the Military. Our sons and daughters are the Army, Marines, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard, Reserves and National Guard going into Afghanistan to protect our freedom. They are fighter pilots who drop bombs on the Taliban and protect the skies here at home, Navy cooks on the ships, infantry here and abroad, and the Coast Guard protecting our shores. They have many jobs, from private or seaman to general or admiral. All branches and all ranks are equally important; they are our sons and daughters.

During this time of uncertainty, we support each other in person and on the Internet. We laugh and cry together and know that there is always someone who shares our fears and joys. If you have never sent a child to war, it is hard to imagine either the cold terror that you feel or the joy at seeing them come home.

Our slogan is, "As one we are weak, together we are STRONG." We help anyone who has family in the military by networking them with others in their areas or finding someone for them to write to. There is almost always someone online on the Internet site, and we have chat rooms nightly. We would like to invite any who wish to join us -- and that includes fathers, siblings, grandparents, anyone!

Thank you, Abby, for sharing our cause with others. -- ETTA LOVE, MOTHERS OF THE MILITARY

DEAR ETTA AND OTHER MOTHERS OF THE MILITARY: I wish you success in your support effort. Although I have never sent a child off to war, I empathize with the stress all family members feel when they send someone they love into danger -- regardless of how noble the cause.

Readers, Mothers of the Military (MOM) can be reached via the Internet at www.mothersofthemilitary.com or e-mailed at mothersofthemil@aol.com. Those who do not have computers can write the organization at P.O. Box 65015, Lubbock, Texas 79464.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Our son was married last year. There were many out-of-town relatives from the bride's family, plus a large wedding party. Once the parents and grandparents of the bride and groom were added to the list, close to 80 people attended the rehearsal dinner. We did not invite family members who didn't have a part in the ceremony, although spouses of the wedding party were included.

A few weeks before the big day, my husband's Uncle Charlie (who is close to 80), let us know he was very hurt not to be invited to the rehearsal dinner. He made it clear he expected us to make an exception for him because he and my husband have always been close. My husband explained to Charlie that if we made an exception for him, we would risk offending other relatives who were not included. He seemed to accept the decision.

It has been many months since the wedding, and it's obvious that Uncle Charlie is nursing a grudge. At family gatherings, he takes every opportunity to challenge anything my husband says to belittle him. He even collected articles on wedding etiquette, invited my husband to lunch and tried to get him to read them.

If my son gets wind of this, he won't tiptoe around Uncle Charlie's feelings as his dad has always done. There will be a permanent rift in the family.

Abby, is there anything I can do or say to resolve this? -- THE PEACEMAKER

DEAR PEACEMAKER: I doubt it. It is precisely for people who feel they deserve to be the "exception" that the rules of etiquette were written in the first place. There is no way to reason with narcissistic, self-centered individuals because they must always be right.

It is not your job or your husband's to make up to Uncle Charlie for his imagined slight. He owes your husband an apology, not the other way around. But please don't hold your breath waiting for it.

DEAR ABBY: As ardent readers of your column, my wife, Pamela, and I feel we must attest to the absolute truth about the "drunken geese" story you have printed.

It is, indeed, a true story and hundreds of years old. The geese were, in fact, ducks -- owned by an innkeeper in Hawkshead in the Lake District of England. The inn is still there and is named "The Drunken Duck." It's complete with a beautiful pub sign showing the ducks clothed in fitted woolen hand-knit garments. My wife and I have dined frequently in this charming pub, which, by the way, offers superb food. -- BRIAN KERR, PORT CHARLOTTE, FLA.

DEAR BRIAN: Some stories take on a life of their own. Thank you for setting the record straight. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The person who wrote and said the drunken geese story was first told in a book by Richard Brautigan should do more research.

The fact is, Jerry Clower told this story from 1957 until the day he died in 1997. I don't like it when people don't know what they are talking about. -- VERY UPSET IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR VERY UPSET: Neither do I. I wonder if Jerry had been to England.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have worn a hairpiece for about 15 years and have been at my present job for the past five. My toupee was expensive and it's not obvious. I have never told anyone at work that my full head of hair isn't natural.

Last weekend at a work-related social function, my wife astonished me by mentioning to a group of my co-workers over cocktails that I wear a hairpiece. After we left the party, I became angry with her for making this revelation, but she refused to accept why I was so upset.

Then my wife had the nerve to say, "Don't you think they already know you wear a toupee?" I told her I didn't think they had any idea, but that was beside the point. The important thing was that I felt she betrayed a confidence.

Now she wants to ask someone impartial whether or not she goofed -- so I'm asking you, Abby. Do you think she should have told my work associates about my toupee, and do you think I was wrong for getting upset with her? -- BLOWING MY TOP IN OHIO

DEAR BLOWING MY TOP: Your reaction was understandable. Some "secrets" are supposed to remain in the family. Your wife's indiscretion was cruel and uncalled for. It's as out of line as it would be for you to tell her friends she wears dentures and falsies -- she'd hit the roof.

DEAR ABBY: This is for "Lonesome Teen in Riverside, Mo." I, too, have a 12-year-old son and an 8-year-old daughter. Their father and I divorced, and he left owing thousands of dollars in child support. My children had not heard from him in more than a month. When he finally did call, I got on the phone and made my point clear: Money was not an issue. I did not care where he was, or what kind of life he was living. I told him he needed to call his children once a week and tell them he loved them. I even said he could call collect. I emphasized that if there was ever an emergency, we needed to know we could communicate.

He sends no presents for Christmas and misses their birthdays, but since our conversation, he calls our children once a week.

My point: Kids are not little forever. They do not care if their father (or mother) has money or a nice job. They just want to talk to them and hear them say, "I love you." -- BEEN THERE IN IOWA

DEAR BEEN THERE: That's true. You're a terrific mother for getting that message across to your former spouse. Other absent parents can learn from you.

DEAR ABBY: After reading your letters about sleeping in the nude, I thought you might enjoy my poem. (Abby, I love your letters!) -- JEAN WELLS ROGERS, COLUMBUS, N.M.

DEAR JEAN: And I loved your poem! Readers, here it is:

OLD-TIMER'S BEDTIME

Here he comes, all ready for bed

Wearing nothing at all but a cap on his head.

Here am I -- my attire complete --

A smile on my face and sox on my feet.

We're old and we're wrinkled, but why should we mind?

We sleep like two trees -- our branches entwined.

Who needs pajamas and nighties so cute

When sleeping's the best in your birthday suit?

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)