DEAR ABBY: I am 34 years old, married and very confused. My current husband, "Austin," and I have a good marriage. He is wonderful to me. I have three children from a previous marriage.
My ex-husband, "Chet," and I are great friends. I have never stopped loving him. That is my problem. I dream of Chet every night. I think of him all day. I don't know how to get him out of my mind and heart.
Abby, I am committed to my marriage and take my vows seriously, but it's almost like I am emotionally cheating on Austin. I have even considered leaving him because I feel so guilty about the way I feel. I know I could never be reunited with Chet, but I don't think I love Austin the way a wife should.
Is it wrong to have feelings about your children's father? -- CONFLICTED IN COLORADO
DEAR CONFLICTED: No. Chet may have been a poor husband, but the attraction you felt for him is still powerful. I call it moth-to-the-flame syndrome. Even though the moth may get singed to oblivion, the attraction is still there.
What would be wrong would be to ACT on those feelings. Consider this: The objects we dream about are usually symbolic. Counseling could help you to figure out what Chet symbolizes in your dreams and fantasies. It may not be what you think.