DEAR ABBY: I started college last fall and moved into a dorm. My roommate and I get along great. She sleeps in the nude. It shocked me at first, but the weather was hot, so I tried it. Now I wouldn't sleep any other way.

Last week, while I was visiting my family, my mother came into my room to wake me. She saw my bare shoulders and correctly assumed I was nude underneath the blankets. You should have seen her reaction! She is now convinced that I am sexually active, which I am not. She thinks my roommate and I must be lesbians. (We're both straight.) She says what I am doing is immoral and un-Christian.

Abby, I am a very religious person. I cannot see how sleeping in the nude is immoral. I don't talk about it or prance around nude. Am I missing something? How can I convince Mother that what I'm doing is really OK? -- FEELING THE HEAT

DEAR FEELING THE HEAT: Nudity is not immoral; it has nothing to do with religion. It is not an indication of sexual activity or lack of it. Nudity is simply a state of undress. You are comfortable with it; your mother is not. You probably can't convince a person who feels that nudity is fundamentally wrong that it's OK. Part of growing up is learning to listen to our conscience and deciding what's right for us. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old daughter, "Jenny," sleeps at her best friend's house about once a month. Her friend has a double bed, which they share. I have been fine with this. I have slept in the same bed with other women, and there was nothing sexual about it.

Since last summer, Jenny has been sleeping in the nude. I don't have a problem with that, either. She doesn't parade around the house naked and is quite modest. I started sleeping in the nude when I was 18. Again, there was nothing sexual about it.

The other day, I asked Jenny if she slept in the nude when she was at her friend's house. She said they both did. It has been bothering me ever since. I can't help feeling their friendship is sexual. I'm afraid asking her outright would make her angry or might result in her lying to me, since she knows I would not approve of her having sex with anyone at this age.

Abby, do you think it's possible two 16-year-old girls could share the same bed naked and not be sexually involved? What can I do to ease my mind? -- SUSPICIOUS MOM IN NAPA, CALIF.

DEAR SUSPICIOUS MOM: Yes, I do think it's possible. However, your question is intriguing. Are there any other reasons you are suspicious? Has she shown an interest in boys?

Your daughter will not become defensive when you talk to her about her sexual orientation unless you appear accusatory or judgmental. Although time may answer your question for you, you and she are overdue for a frank and loving mother-daughter chat. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I recently heard the best way to sleep soundly is to keep your feet and hands warm. The image I had from this report was: Sleep with socks and mittens, but nothing else.

A few days later, another article claimed that when you sleep totally nude, heat is more evenly distributed, thus you sleep more comfortably, even in the cold of winter.

What have you heard about sleeping in the nude? -- NUDIST IN SANTA CLARITA, CALIF.

DEAR NUDIST: Only this: Heat escapes from the top of the head and the bottom of the feet. So to conserve body heat, wear socks and a ski cap. And pray that anyone who sees you doesn't die laughing.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: How do you chew out someone whose heart is in the right place? During the Cold War, I spent almost six years defending the flag of our country. While I am delighted to see it flying everywhere, folks -- please use your head as well as your heart.

A flag flying from a car at high speed takes a beating. Please replace it before it turns into a rag. I have seen some so far gone that only half the flag remains. I even saw a pair of flags hanging horizontally from a car trunk. They looked like mud flaps.

If you display a flag at your home, please keep it hanging free. If there has been a strong wind, unwind it. If it has caught on the shrubbery, please untangle it.

Finally, a request to the business world: If you use the flag in your ads, please don't alter it. One of our local radio stations went so far as to replace the blue field of stars with its own logo.

When people get old and gray, it's time to love and care for them. When flags get old and gray, it's time to replace them. -- KEN DALE, WEST LINN, ORE.

DEAR KEN: Thank you for a timely letter. I, too, have seen torn, faded, rain-drenched American flags flying from car windows, and tangled flags on homes and apartments. The U.S. Flag Code, adopted in 1923, describes the following rules for proper flag protocol:

(1) Always display the flag with the field of blue in the upper left-hand corner. To display it upside down is considered a distress signal.

(2) It should be carried aloft and free, never flat or horizontally.

(3) The flag should always be kept clean and safe; never let it become torn, soiled or damaged.

(4) The flag should be destroyed by burning in a dignified manner.

(5) Always treat the flag with respect. Never embroider it on household items or pieces of clothing.

People who are unable to dispose of the flag in the prescribed manner should contact their nearest American Legion or VFW post. Most of them have an annual ceremony in which old and worn flags are properly destroyed.

Readers who would like a copy of the brochure "Our Flag: How to Honor and Display It," and a flag fact sheet on "Flag Retirement," need only request it and send $1 plus a long (business-size), stamped, self-addressed envelope to National Flag Foundation, Flag Plaza, 1275 Bedford Ave., Pittsburgh, PA 15219-3630. It can also be reviewed on the Internet at www.americanflags.org. Or call the NFF toll-free: (800) 615-1776.

DEAR ABBY: I have a question regarding wedding shower gifts. I live in my own apartment. My fiance lives at home with his folks. We registered for some practical things -- mostly items for the kitchen.

My question: Is it rude to use the gifts BEFORE we get married? We're not being married for four more months. It feels a little strange to be putting our wedding shower gifts to use, but isn't that the purpose -- to set up housekeeping? Please advise. -- GAYLE IN TOLEDO

DEAR GAYLE: Call me an incurable romantic -- or perhaps superstitious -- but the time to start using wedding shower gifts is after the honeymoon.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My son, Tommy, loved orange and grapefruit juice. A serious baseball player and avid outdoorsman, he was a health-conscious 17-year-old. Early in January 1999, a good friend gave me two cans of grapefruit juice for Tommy. Two weeks later, there was still one left.

In May of 2001, I read my first "pennies from heaven" story in your column. I wasn't having a good day, but decided to do some cleaning anyway. I started with our refrigerator. There, sitting on a shelf, was the last can of Tommy's juice. For two years, friends and family members had urged me to throw it out. Nobody understood why I kept it. "Just don't touch it," I'd say.

You see, my only son, my precious Tommy, was killed Jan. 20, 1999, in a tragic car accident on his way to school. I couldn't throw out his last can of juice -- it was part of his life. The pain I suffered when he died seemed to strengthen the bond he and I had shared. But I needed a message from him to let me know he was OK. I knew someday the message would come, because I believe in my children. I knew he would find a way to reach me from the grave. My fear was how long I could hang on without knowing he was OK.

As these thoughts raced through my mind, I went back to cleaning. I picked up the rusty can of juice, and to my surprise, underneath was a green, moldy penny on the saucer.

It took me months to speak of that day. When I finally told my husband and daughter, I feared they would not believe me. It took them a while, but there were more signs to come.

In July 2001, determined to have some fun, we went away for our 22nd anniversary. We took our daughter and new grandbaby with us. Walking through the doorway of our hotel, my husband looked down. There were two pennies -- one facing him and one facing me.

This past summer, I went with my daughter and the children of some friends to the beach. On our way home, we stopped to ride the go-carts -- a family tradition. My daughter and I both found pennies inside our go-carts.

Abby, the denial is gone. The pain and struggle are not, but it's a little easier now. Tommy and I have built a different kind of relationship, still unique and strong. Wanting to feel your son again cannot be put into words. Only a mother knows that need.

The penny stories need to continue for people like me. I now accept all the strange coincidences in my life knowing Tommy is letting me know he's close.

The penny in the fridge broke the ice for me. It started a new beginning. Thank you. -- ROCKY FRAZIER, DOVER, DEL.

DEAR ROCKY: I used to think a penny was a denomination of money. I now know it's also an article of faith.

DEAR ABBY: My dear friend, "Jean," is having trouble with her old lover, "Toby." She broke up with him a month ago. Ever since, Toby has been following her -- and last night threatened to kill her.

Abby, Jean comes to me for help, but I don't know what to do. She is afraid to go to the police because she thinks it will make Toby even angrier. What should I do? -- A FRIEND OF A FRIEND IN NEED

DEAR FRIEND: The police should be notified ASAP. It is against the law to stalk people and threaten to kill them. Your friend needs your emotional support. Take her to the police station and help her to file a complaint. You may be saving her life.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)