DEAR ABBY: Your Dec. 21 column featured a letter from a reader who is concerned because an elderly friend is unable to hear the audible signal from his smoke alarm. Your reader is right to be concerned. Smoke alarms provide the early warning of fire that makes it possible to escape. Every household needs working smoke alarms on each level of the home, and all members of the household must be able to react quickly to the alarm.

For people with hearing impairments, special smoke detection devices with louder alarms or strobe lights are available.

In addition to common audible-signal smoke alarms, many manufacturers now market a wide variety of signaling devices that -- when combined -- meet the needs of all people. Residents interested in purchasing these devices should contact their local fire department for information on manufacturers and local distributors.

Smoke alarms are an essential element of home fire protection. Everyone should have the life-saving protection afforded by this important technology. Thank you for helping your readers with hearing impairments learn how they can be better protected. -- GEORGE D. MILLER, PRESIDENT AND CEO, NATIONAL FIRE PROTECTION ASSOCIATION

DEAR GEORGE: And thank YOU for continuing to be a valuable resource for my readers and me. My readers will be pleased to know that detailed fact sheets on smoke alarms and other fire protection devices can be downloaded by visiting the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA) online at www.nfpa.org.

Not only are smoke alarms with strobe lights as well as audible alarms available, there's even one that can be placed beneath one's pillow or between the mattress and box spring that vibrates when smoke is detected.

A magazine called Hearing Loss, published by Self Help for Hard of Hearing People, 7910 Woodmont Ave., Suite 1200, Bethesda, MD 20814-3015, also keeps subscribers abreast of other safety products such as assisted-living devices, doorbells, special telephones, etc.

Every household needs at least one working fire alarm. The inability to hear one is no longer a reason for not having that kind of essential protection.

DEAR ABBY: My boss, "Adam," is 43. I am 50. We are both divorced. We have become very close during the three years we have worked together. I have two adult children. He has none.

Adam and I spend a great deal of time together -- at work and socially -- but always on a platonic basis. The problem is, I have fallen in love with him. I realize that an on-the-job romance -- especially between a boss and a subordinate -- would be a big mistake. However, I know he cares a great deal for me, although he does not share my romantic feelings.

Abby, I am having a hard time hiding my emotions when he dates other women. It impacts my work performance. I feel it would be best for me to look for another job. He told me that if I were a true friend I would want him to be happy and to marry someone who could be the mother of his children. I do want Adam to be happy, and I love my job, but I have deep feelings for him. He thinks it is selfish of me to want to leave. Do you? -- IT'S TOUGH TO BE IN LOVE BY MYSELF

DEAR IT'S TOUGH: I do not think your desire to leave is selfish. Quite the contrary. It's selfish of him to try to make you feel guilty for wanting to leave. You'd have to be a masochist to stay.

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DEAR ABBY: My beloved 93-year-old Grandma Beanie passed away recently. She was kind and gentle, and we were lucky to have her as long as we did. Her funeral gave my family and me time to reflect on what is really important in life.

What I remember and cherish most about Grandma Beanie are not the material things she gave me over the years. In fact, I can't remember a single toy she gave me as a child, although there were many.

What I DO remember are the countless times she let me help her make strawberry jam; the afternoon she took us kids into the woods and taught us how to hunt for mushrooms; the nights she patiently played Yahtzee with us; the fact that she made the most delicious chocolate chip cookies in the world; and how she loved it when we took her out for Chinese food.

There are many more memories. The point is, she did not share herself in material ways, but rather in the love she showed in everything she did with us.

When this world of ours seems scary, please remember that the child's hand you hold today -- and the time spent with the child -- is what makes this world a better place. -- CATHY IN MASON CITY, IOWA

DEAR CATHY: Right you are. You were fortunate to have had such a positive role model in your life. The most precious gift a person can give is a gift of self.

DEAR ABBY: A friend sent me a clipping that I think is very worthwhile, so I'm passing it along to you.

Wouldn't it be great if everyone would follow these rules? -- HAPPY GRANNY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HAPPY GRANNY: It certainly would. There would be a lot less stress in the world. Read on:

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR A LONG AND PEACEFUL LIFE

(1) Thou shalt not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.

(2) Thou shalt not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.

(3) Thou shalt face each problem as it comes. You can handle only one at a time.

(4) Thou shalt not cross bridges before you get to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.

(5) Thou shalt not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.

(6) Thou shalt not borrow other people's problems. They can take better care of them than you can.

(7) Thou shalt be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It's very hard to learn something new when you're talking.

(8) Thou shalt not try to re-live yesterday for good or ill -- it is gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life today.

(9) Thou shalt not become bogged down by frustration, for 50 percent of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive actions.

(10) Thou shalt count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones -- for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: How is a great-grandmother supposed to feel when her great-grandchild calls to tell her he has a child who was born out of wedlock?

The father is 18 and the mother is 16. Both are school dropouts, no jobs and no place to call home.

I do not resent the baby. It did not ask to be born. But I do resent the idea of bringing an innocent child into the world out of wedlock.

My great-grandchild was baptised and brought up in the Catholic Church, but once he got out of our sight, he strayed and thinks nothing of "shacking up."

I don't care to have the baby's mother come to visit us, but I cannot turn them away if they come to my door. Please respond, before they call to say they're coming. -- DISGUSTED IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR DISGUSTED: Your feelings are understandable and you are entitled to them. However, being kind and friendly doesn't mean you have to approve. You are under no obligation to invite them to your home -- but if they show up, be charitable. They need all the kindness they can get.

DEAR ABBY: While you're on the subject of pantyhose, this story may win the blue ribbon.

Fifteen years ago, we rented a sailing yawl with several friends to see the sights of the San Juan Islands in Washington state. When we arrived in Friday Harbor, my cousin Dave, an ingenious chemical engineer, bought several pair of cheap pantyhose at the local drugstore. When we asked why, he said mysteriously, "You'll see."

A few days later, we were moored in a shallow harbor off one of the islands. David had been fishing earlier that week and had saved some fish guts and heads. He stuffed them into the toes of the pantyhose, tied the waist to a rope, and lowered the rope into the calm waters until the pantyhose and bait hit the bottom. Fifteen minutes later, he pulled the rope up -- and there were several crabs dangling from the pantyhose. Apparently the claws of the crab caught in the mesh of the hosiery and they couldn't free themselves! We grabbed a colander and scooped crabs onto the deck every 15 minutes until we had reached our limit. After checking for correct size and gender, we kept the legal ones, boiled and cleaned them, and had a Crab Louie feast for dinner. Leave it to an engineer to figure out the most compact crab trap for seafood lovers. -- ELAINE JACOBS, TACOMA, WASH.

DEAR ELAINE: That was ingenious! And if you also have an appetite for catfish, read on:

DEAR ABBY: The letter from the lady who was on the road in an RV in Arizona prompts my own. They had a broken fan belt on their engine and a truck driver repaired it temporarily with a pair of pantyhose. The story reminded me of an experience we had years ago on a family camping and fishing trip.

When we got to the river, we discovered the men had forgotten to bring their net to catch minnows for bait. Well, sometimes a person has to get inventive. I went into the camper and came out with a pair of pantyhose. My son snapped a branch from a tree and attached the pantyhose to it. It made a first-class minnow net. Our fishermen got a pantyhose full of minnows, which attracted lots of delicious catfish. -- MARY THOMPSON, WATHENA, KAN.

DEAR MARY: Now that's one heck of a fish story if I ever heard one.

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