DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old daughter recently won the national gold medal for teen-age girls in the Gold's Gym-sponsored National Sports Aerobic Championship. While she is petite and shy, I watched her become 10 feet tall on stage, demonstrating self-confidence, strength and real beauty.

Besides being proud, I would like to remind other parents that exercise and sports competition can greatly help teen-age girls with their body image. They learn grace and confidence, and become aware that they are much more than their outward physical appearance.

In sports aerobics, for example, the confidence girls gain by mastering the moves and intensity of the competition will carry them forward for a lifetime. So, encourage your daughters to get physical. It makes all the difference in how they feel about themselves. I've seen it with my daughter, and I've seen it with her friends. -- PROUD MOM IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR PROUD MOM: You and your daughter are a winning team. The support of a proud and loving parent can help any girl to feel like a champion.

I know from personal experience the wisdom of your praise of exercise and sports. Both can produce many positive rewards, including the confidence, fitness and good physical and mental health you have described.

For girls who are less comfortable with organized or competitive sports than your daughter, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services offers many helpful tips on its Web site at www.girlpower.gov: "Each day ... do about 30 to 60 minutes of moderate physical activity, like walking or riding a bike. Or, at least three times a week, challenge yourself to 15 to 20 minutes of more intense activities. ... Choose activities that you like to do. If you pick a sport or exercise program that you think is boring in the beginning, you might have a hard time staying with it."

Girl Power! provides a bonanza of sound information to help girls become champions in whatever they choose. They also offer tools for grown-ups who want to help girls make the difficult transition from adolescence as successfully and safely as possible. It's all free, through the Girl Power! Web site -- or call toll-free (800) 729-6686. Ask for Girl Power! and tell them "Dear Abby" sent you.

DEAR ABBY: Before my mother died last year, she revealed to me that "Todd," an old schoolmate of mine, told her that he had to leave the state on the day I married someone else because Texas wasn't big enough to hold his grief.

Todd had never even asked me out on a date. He hung around our house, but I thought he was just a friend of my twin brother.

Abby, please tell all those shy boys out there that if they want something, they should speak up. (I definitely would have married Todd had he only let me know how he felt.) We both would have been much happier. -- REGRETFUL IN SPRINGFIELD, MO.

DEAR REGRETFUL: Maybe so -- maybe not. While there are no guarantees, it does seem sad that a chance at true love was stillborn because one of the parties had low self-esteem. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: One of the perks of my job is receiving free or discounted meals at local restaurants. Last week I was invited to dine at one of the best restaurants in town. I thought that "Tess," one of my co-workers, might also enjoy it, so I invited her to share the meal with me. I warned her that we would probably be expected to pay for part of the dinner. She said that would be fine.

Halfway through the meal, our server informed us that we would be expected to pay 50 percent of the bill. Tess told me she had forgotten her wallet, and asked if I'd pick up the tab. She promised to pay me back, so I agreed. Then she said she could afford to pay me only $1 from each future paycheck, and asked if it was all right for her to order a $10 dessert as well.

Abby, I was so shocked I could hardly respond. At that rate it will take her a year to pay me back! I understand that people are having a hard time in this economy, but Tess and I are paid the same. I don't exactly have a bundle of money to spare either. How should I handle this? -- FLABBERGASTED IN OREGON

DEAR FLABBERGASTED: Keep meticulous records, put your hand out every payday -- and pray she gets a Christmas bonus.

DEAR ABBY: I want to tell you how my 10-year-old daughter handled a bully. One day after school, she came home and told me about the physical and verbal abuse she was experiencing at the hands of a boy in her class. It was never-ending. I asked if she wanted me to intervene. She said she wanted to handle the situation herself.

I then suggested she keep a diary of all the things this boy said and did to her. I told her to take her diary to the principal when she felt she had enough evidence to support her case. After several weeks, I got a phone call from the principal of her school. She had just seen my daughter and her diary. The boy and his parents were called in immediately. The abuse stopped that day. She never had another problem with him.

Trying to handle the problem herself gave my daughter a sense of power, confidence and control over her own life. Let me add, I was monitoring the situation from a distance. Had my daughter not been taken seriously by the principal, I would have stepped in.

Today my daughter is a senior in high school -- an outgoing, happy, kind, confident young woman. Maybe her story will help someone else caught in this situation. -- HEATHER'S MOM, MESA, ARIZ.

DEAR MOM: Your suggestion is an excellent one. As with any other form of harassment, documenting the incidents and building a body of evidence was vital. I hope other victims of bullying will learn from your letter. You and your daughter handled the situation beautifully.

DEAR ABBY: I have been shopping with my mother to find a dress for her to wear at my wedding next spring. She wants to wear a tuxedo-style jacket with a long, straight skirt and a red or white bustier.

Abby, my mother just doesn't get it. She thinks the Madonna lingerie look is appropriate, and she intends to wear it to my wedding whether I like it or not.

Any thoughts on this? -- EMBARRASSED BRIDE-TO-BE

DEAR BRIDE: Just one: If there's any chance the mother-of-the-bride's outfit will distract attention from the bride, the outfit should be saved for another occasion.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I must respond to "Confused Young Woman in Love," who wonders whether a relationship can work between a man and a woman who earns significantly more than he does.

It most certainly CAN. I have been blessed 10 times over by a loving husband who made less than half what I did when we married. Today, eight years later, he's a stay-at-home dad, and I am the income provider.

My husband and I were both comfortable with who we were as individuals when we met. Our marriage has grown, and our love and commitment have deepened despite not only the income disparity, but also other areas of difference in our lives.

The ability to bring in money for the family is important, but not nearly as important as cultivating a loving, nurturing, supportive environment for yourself, your spouse and your family. That ability comes from the heart -- and is not dependent upon how much money a person makes. -- BLESSED IN DENVER

DEAR BLESSED: I agree. And many other couples will attest to that. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I make substantially more than my husband -- about 30 percent more. You know what he thinks? He thinks I deserve MORE.

We are a team. Our incomes go toward supporting our family, and the more either of us makes, the better.

Were I that woman, I wouldn't hide my income, but neither would I bring it up. If he's the man she thinks he is, he won't care about her income when he learns what it is. Or, if it does bother him, he won't let it affect their relationship. A real man will get over it. -- CATHY W. IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR CATHY W.: That's true. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Yes, it is possible to have a good relationship when the woman makes more money. I am a successful professional and earn a very good salary. My husband is an artist. He makes very little in the way of money.

When we married, relatives on both sides of the family predicted we would be divorced within two years. Ten years later, we are still together and the naysayers are the ones who are divorced. I have a wonderful man who happens not to be rich in money, but he is rich in the inner qualities that are the most important. -- BEEN THERE IN CANADA

DEAR BEEN THERE: You have your priorities in the right order, and I commend you for it. Thank you for the input.

DEAR ABBY: I am 53. Six months ago, the love of my life was killed in an automobile accident.

My question is, what are the possibilities and probabilities that I will find true love again in my lifetime? I have always felt that true love comes only once in a lifetime for a few -- and never for most.

Am I being foolish to think that it could happen to me more than once? -- HOPEFUL IN DENVER

DEAR HOPEFUL: Not at all! I'm a firm believer that people have more than one opportunity to find true happiness.

Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. Grief counseling or a grief support group will help you to put the rest of your life in perspective. Please don't wait.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)