DEAR ABBY: I have been dating the same guy for a little over a year. We get along well, laugh a lot, have the same outlook, similar goals. He says I'm his best friend.
My problem? I'm not his "type." I'm a petite blonde. He prefers chunkier women with dark hair. He says if there was one thing he could change about me, it would be for me to gain about 20 pounds. (I'm 5 feet tall and weigh 105.)
He has become "confused" a few times during the relationship, and the last time he said he needed to decide which was more important, someone he's connected with or someone who is his type. The sex is good but not earth-shattering, because my physical attributes don't do it for him. He doesn't want to rip off my clothes each time he sees me, and I thrive on that kind of lust.
He keeps coming back, and I feel like a jerk for allowing him to stay each time. I love him, but I'm unclear whether I'm selling myself short and if I deserve someone who loves me the way I am. I'm afraid if he stays with me, eventually he will want his type and leave. He's 37; I'm 33. What should I do? -- BETWIXT AND BETWEEN IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR B AND B: Loving him isn't enough. Not once in your letter did you indicate that he says HE loves YOU. You say he's critical of your appearance and strays when the spirit moves him. You are indeed selling yourself short. For a lifetime partner, you deserve better.