DEAR ABBY: When you printed my letter about the thousands of former prisoners of war who had never gone to the Department of Veterans Affairs about benefits available to them, you touched many lives. It has enabled many former POWs and/or their spouses or widows to finally receive benefits due them. We American Ex-Prisoners of War have been extra-busy because of what you did.

Our work is all volunteer. The rewards come when we get letters like the one I'm enclosing from "Mrs. K." in Oklahoma.

Mrs. K.'s daughter talked with me about her father, who died 15 years ago. It turns out I was in the same German POW camps as her father. His best buddy and I could write nearly identical letters about our forced march in blizzard conditions in northern Germany in January 1945.

She told me: "I have four sisters. We all agree that this is the most excited our mother has been in a very long time. Words do not adequately express our gratitude."

Abby, if you would consider including Mrs. K.'s letter in your column, it would no doubt reach more World War II and Korean War POWs who need a nudge. -- FRED CAMPBELL, SAN ANGELO, TEXAS

P.S. Another nice thing you did was to forward a letter to me from a Ms. Moore in New York. She had seen my letter in your column and wrote to ask for help in locating someone who might have known her father, a bombardier/navigator who flew flying missions out of Assam, India. (Naturally, the plane's name was "My Assam Dragon.") Ms. Moore never knew her father. He died on his last mission in World War II. I put her in touch with the China-Burma-India Association.

She said in her letter that her father was part of a Moore family in Harrison County, Ky., going back 200 years. Well, my mother was a Moore -- and HER family came out of Harrison County, Ky., same era. So it's possible you have connected some kinfolks.

DEAR FRED: It's letters like yours that make writing this column a thrill. I'm gratified to know that we were able to help Mrs. K. from Oklahoma. I am frequently told that when I print a letter, the writer hears from long-lost friends and acquaintances. But in the case of Ms. Moore, I'd say 200 years is a record. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for printing Fred Campbell's letter. My husband has been deceased since 1986. He was a B-17 pilot during World War II and was shot down May 4, 1944. He was a prisoner of war until April 29, 1945, and the conditions were deplorable.

After reading the letter from Mr. Campbell, my daughter contacted American Ex-Prisoners of War for more specific information about the legislative changes regarding former POWs and special benefits available. Mr. Campbell followed up my daughter's inquiry personally.

For years before his death, my husband suffered from puzzling ailments. One of the most puzzling was bouts of swollen feet. Mr. Campbell recognized that as a possible symptom of ischemic heart disease.

Fortunately, my husband kept good records, and we had an autopsy done when he died. Those records enabled the VA to decide favorably on my behalf and determined that after all these years that my husband's death was, in fact, service-related. The additional benefits I am now receiving have helped relieve tremendous financial worries for me.

Had I not seen your column, I would not have pursued a review of my husband's records. You have provided a wonderful service to your readers. Thank you again. -- MRS. K., WIDOW OF AN AMERICAN EX-POW

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I worked with this great gal, "Lauren," for about four years. She is very attractive. We would see each other about once a month outside of work. We never went out as a couple -- always with other co-workers. We didn't see each other as often after she got married, but we maintained our friendship.

Two years ago, Lauren quit work and she, her husband and child moved away. Within a year, they moved back to our city. I now talk to her on the phone once every three months. Whenever we talk, she says we will get together "soon" -- but we never do.

I know Lauren is married and I am single, but I would enjoy having lunch with her or going for a walk once in a while. Abby, my question is, do you think Lauren and I are still friends? -- JUST A WORK FRIEND?

DEAR JUST A WORK FRIEND: I'm sure Lauren doesn't like you any less, but it's time to face the fact that your friend's circumstances and priorities have changed. She has a husband and child who must come first. Instead of dwelling on the status of this relationship, it is time to move on and cultivate new friends.

DEAR ABBY: I adore the letters about "pennies from heaven." After reading the last one, I thought about it all day and said to myself: That could never happen to me. I don't know anyone in heaven who cares about me -- except maybe my brother who was killed in a car crash when I was 13, but he's probably forgotten all about me. I'm almost 38 now.

Three days later, after my husband and I were leaving a restaurant and walking to our car, I looked down on the filthy sidewalk and spotted a penny. I laughed and told him, "I found a penny from heaven!" I turned the penny over to check the date. I couldn't believe my eyes -- the date was 1974! Abby, I have only one keepsake that belonged to my deceased brother -- a high school class necklace with the inscription: "Senior 1974." No other date would have meant anything to me, as I don't even know what year he was born.

When I got home, I showed my family the necklace I had kept hidden all these years. Even my husband was touched. What are the chances that the penny would have the same date, the only date I would associate with my brother?

I am not religious and never thought this could happen to me. I am still shocked. My mother is astounded. Now she knows her son is where she hoped he would be. I absolutely believe it is a "penny from heaven." -- LISA ANGILANO, BEREA, OHIO

DEAR LISA: So do I. And since that penny had the power to reinforce your mother's faith and restore yours, I'd say that penny was heaven-sent -- wouldn't you?

DEAR ABBY: My parents recently retired and moved into a condo. While in the process of helping them move out of their house of 35 years, I was given some items. In one of the cartons, I discovered some steamy love letters written to my dad from another woman in 1981.

How should I handle this with my father? It was hurtful and embarrassing to find something like this after all this time. -- UNSURE SON IN UTAH

DEAR UNSURE SON: Place the letters in a manila envelope or a sturdy box and seal it securely. Give it to your father privately and tell him the contents belong to him and were taken by mistake. Period. End of conversation.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

Mom died suddenly in June of 1982, a mere three months after we helped my parents celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. Seeing Dad so broken and old at the funeral, we ached for him and worried about his health and future. Silly us! By the end of the year, he called to inform us that he was seeing "Jane," a widowed longtime friend, and that they were being married. I was speechless (a rare occurrence, according to my wife), but quickly gave my blessing along with my brother and two sisters. We knew that Mom and Dad were soulmates, but if Dad was lucky enough to find love again, who were we to deny him?

Dad passed away last June, three months after we celebrated his 80th birthday. We're heartbroken, but our grief is tempered by thoughts of Dad's happy and full 18 years spent with Jane. His life was honored by hundreds of family and friends at his funeral service. I know I speak for the rest of the family in saying that we owe Jane an eternal debt of love and gratitude for sharing her life with Dad. We embrace her as part of the family and will continue to do so until the day she leaves us.

Your advice to "Desperate" neglected to address one small detail. Unless they had obtained a court order, the wiretap his daughters put on his phone was illegal, and they could have been prosecuted. What I say to "Desperate" is simply this: Sir, if you are fortunate enough to find love again in the autumn of your life, go ahead and jump in, right after you tell your daughters to go take a flying leap! -- FORTUNATE SON, LONGVIEW, WASH.

DEAR FORTUNATE SON: It appears your father had many blessings in his life -- not the least of which were his children. Thank you for such an upbeat letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: How sad to read the letter from the elderly widower whose daughters drove away his new wife and now threaten to do the same with his new potential mate. I am a lawyer who does a lot of estate planning, and I have a couple of suggestions for him.

First, disinherit these greedy offspring and leave his estate to charity. If he won't do that, have his will include a clause like this:

"If at the time of my death I am married to (the new flame), I leave all of my estate to my two daughters, in equal shares. If I am not married to (the new flame), I leave all of my estate to the following charities: ..."

That should induce the daughters to be kind to the new wife. If the new wife dies first or leaves on her own, the daughters may get nothing, but that is what they deserve anyway.

Finally, his two daughters sound so determined to have his estate that he might want to add a clause that says the provisions for his daughters are to be effective ONLY if they can establish by clear and convincing evidence that his death was not the result of a homicide caused or procured by either of them.

Let the old guy have a life! -- ATTORNEY IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR ATTORNEY: When I suggested to "Desperate" that he talk the entire situation over with his attorney, a legal document of some kind was what I had in mind. It did not occur to me that he might need to hire a food-taster. I hope he sees your letter and takes it to heart.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)