DEAR ABBY: What do you do when your daughter tells you she has turned into a lesbian?

My husband and I raised her properly. She was married, but things changed. We are respectable people who try to be loving and kind.

Abby, will our daughter ever "turn around" and realize her biological clock is ticking? Will we ever see grandchildren? -- A MOTHER WHO CARES A LOT

DEAR MOTHER: Your daughter's sexual orientation has nothing to do with the way she was raised. Continue to love her as you always have. She needs your support now more than ever. Although your daughter will probably never "turn around," it is still possible for you and your husband to become grandparents. Many gay couples adopt or give birth to children, so don't give up hope.

I'm sure you may have many more questions than you have put in your letter. An excellent source of information and support for you would be an organization called PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). Contact them by writing PFLAG, 1726 M St. N.W., Washington, DC 20036, or by e-mail at info(at)pflag.org, or by visiting the Web site at www.pflag.org. You'll be glad you did.

DEAR ABBY: This is for the "Freshman in Dallas," who asked how to adjust to his/her first days in high school. Please print my letter, because I have been in that person's shoes.

Dear Freshman: I'm about to start my senior year. When I was a freshman, I learned that none of my friends would be going to the same school as me because I was going to a magnet school. I was painfully shy, but I loved the theater and decided to join the drama club.

It worked miracles! Not only did I find a slew of new friends, but I overcame my shyness as well.

Any activities, like sports, band or drama, will help you meet great people who share your interests. In these activities, it is also common for a freshman to have friends who are juniors and seniors -- very helpful!

Good luck. I really hope you have as much of a blast as I've had in high school. Ninth grade was my best year so far. -- BEEN THERE AND LOVED IT, NEWPORT NEWS, VA.

DEAR BEEN THERE: I'm sure your upbeat and encouraging letter will be appreciated by more students than the one for whom it is intended. How generous of you to share your personal experience. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Please recommend that "Freshman" investigate the different campus organizations and activities available at his or her school. There are many clubs and service groups in addition to classes in journalism, yearbook production, drama and music.

All these activities provide legitimate social interactions while students work together on common goals. They are a wonderful way to meet new people, get involved and have fun.

Incidentally, all of these activities look great on college applications. Sign me ... COLLEGE STUDENT IN SANTA CLARITA, CALIF.

DEAR STUDENT: Your letter is sure to provide food for thought to thousands of incoming freshmen. Thank you for the input.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Robbie" for 25 years. He has had numerous affairs during most of our marriage. His most recent one has devastated me.

Robbie tells me he is in love with another woman -- but that he also loves me. Robbie is a good provider. I have everything I want or need. We are set financially. I have considered leaving him and starting over, but frankly, it scares me. I feel that he is staying because he doesn't want to "lose everything." I know in my heart he wants to be with the other woman.

We have been through counseling. I thought things were OK, but they weren't. I saw the signs again.

Now my other dilemma: I'm not sure I'm in love with Robbie anymore. I'm not sure if the reason I don't leave is because of him -- or the financial security. If I stay, I'm not sure I can forgive or forget again. I know if it's not this woman, there will always be another and another.

Should I stay, or hold my head up high and go my separate way? -- HANGING ON IN INDIANA

DEAR HANGING: You are asking intelligent questions. However, no one can answer them but you. Since marriage counseling couldn't resolve the problems in your marriage, it's time to talk to an accountant and an attorney to determine the financial reality of what separating from your husband would be. Armed with that information, you can then ask yourself whether your life would be better with or without him and arrive at a logical conclusion. This may be a new beginning instead of a sad ending. I wish you the best of luck.

DEAR ABBY: I was going through my dear mother's Bible recently looking for my aunt's date of birth. As I opened it, I discovered one of your columns -- a "recipe" submitted by Maxine D. Mother had clipped it without the date, but I believe it was from May 1961. The recipe was for happiness. That recipe is as timely today as it was 40 years ago. Perhaps you might reprint it for those who missed it before.

Interestingly, on the back of the recipe is an ad that advertises submarine sandwiches made with three meats, four sandwiches for a dollar. Can you believe it?

In April 1961, Mother was 48 years old. I have been without her for 20 years this year. -- JAN ROLLINS, CARROLLTON, TEXAS

DEAR JAN: Thank you for reminding me of the recipe for happiness. You're right -- it's due for a repeat. As for the ad offering four submarine sandwiches for a dollar -- my, how times have changed! They cost $4 to $6 per sandwich today. I wonder how much they'll cost in another 40 years. Read on:

RECIPE FOR HAPPINESS

Take 2 heaping cups of patience

1 heartful of love

2 handsful of generosity

Dash of laughter

1 headful of understanding

Sprinkle generously with kindness

Add plenty of faith and mix well.

Spread over a period of a lifetime

And serve everybody you meet.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 18. I was involved with a guy for six years. I loved him deeply. I thought he loved me. One night he admitted he was only telling me he loved me because he thought that's what I wanted to hear. Our relationship ended.

I started dating another guy I had known for five years. Two months later, we slept together. Before I knew it, he left me and went back to his ex-wife. My third boyfriend cheated on me, and then lied about it.

Abby, my friends now want to hook me up with "Larry." He has had as much bad luck with relationships as I have. I am scared. I don't want to be hurt again. I have been hurt more in my life than loved. Larry seems like a nice guy, but I don't know what to do. Any ideas? -- THREE-TIME LOSER

DEAR THREE-TIME: Accept the fact that dating is risky business, and most dating relationships do not lead to marriage. Then take a break from dating for a while. Concentrate on school, or on your career if you have completed your education. You need to rebuild your self-esteem before getting involved in another romance. In the meantime, make a friend out of Larry.

DEAR ABBY: "Tired of Family Ties," the 33-year-old man who was adopted at the age of 3 weeks and never felt the need to search for his birth mother, asked how to discontinue contact without being cruel now that she has found him.

You advised that he has a right to his feelings, and he should explain to his birth mother that he's not ready to have a relationship with her now. I would like to second that advice.

Please urge "Tired" to have an honest discussion with his birth family. I am a birth mother. I have seen changes in my relationship with my daughter whom I lost to adoption. We were reunited 14 years ago. I wish she would verbalize it.

Thankfully, I have been involved in a wonderful support group for 17 years. It is called "Concerned United Birthparents," and it is for anyone who has been touched by adoption. -- DENVER BIRTH MOM

DEAR BIRTH MOM: Thank you for the information. Concerned United Birthparents can be contacted by calling toll-free: 1-800-822-2777 or by visiting the Web site at www.CUBirthparents.org. While many reunions are happy ones, some are not. In those cases, everyone involved needs all the support they can get.

DEAR ABBY: Last Saturday night I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner at an expensive restaurant. The people seated at the table behind us were extremely noisy and became even louder as the night wore on.

How should I have dealt with this situation? Asked them to quiet down? Asked the server to speak to them? Or requested another table?

Although it didn't ruin our night, it made conversation difficult. We rarely treat ourselves to such a special dinner out, and when we do we'd like to be able to hear each other's sentences!

Please let us know what to do should this happen again. Thanks, Abby. -- ANNOYED WITH THE NOISE, CARLE PLACE, N.Y.

DEAR ANNOYED: Because complaining to the offenders could have sparked a confrontation, you should have asked your server to move you to a table in a quieter location.

Next time, request a quiet corner when you make your reservation.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S funds only) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)