DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Robbie" for 25 years. He has had numerous affairs during most of our marriage. His most recent one has devastated me.
Robbie tells me he is in love with another woman -- but that he also loves me. Robbie is a good provider. I have everything I want or need. We are set financially. I have considered leaving him and starting over, but frankly, it scares me. I feel that he is staying because he doesn't want to "lose everything." I know in my heart he wants to be with the other woman.
We have been through counseling. I thought things were OK, but they weren't. I saw the signs again.
Now my other dilemma: I'm not sure I'm in love with Robbie anymore. I'm not sure if the reason I don't leave is because of him -- or the financial security. If I stay, I'm not sure I can forgive or forget again. I know if it's not this woman, there will always be another and another.
Should I stay, or hold my head up high and go my separate way? -- HANGING ON IN INDIANA
DEAR HANGING: You are asking intelligent questions. However, no one can answer them but you. Since marriage counseling couldn't resolve the problems in your marriage, it's time to talk to an accountant and an attorney to determine the financial reality of what separating from your husband would be. Armed with that information, you can then ask yourself whether your life would be better with or without him and arrive at a logical conclusion. This may be a new beginning instead of a sad ending. I wish you the best of luck.