DEAR ABBY: I work for a small corporation. I report to two people –- a husband and wife. The wife is my supervisor; however, I am an administrative assistant to her husband as well.

The wife is extremely intelligent and I stand to learn a great deal from her, but she has the worst body odor I have ever encountered. Not only does the entire office smell of her, but when she gets close, I'm afraid I will be ill from the stench. I don't know how to handle this.

With the hot weather here, the problem has worsened. The only good thing that has come out of it is that I have lost my appetite when she's around and am losing quite a bit of weight.

I would appreciate your advice. If the problem isn't solved soon, I'll be forced to find another job. -– OVERCOME IN GARDENA, CALIF.

DEAR OVERCOME: You would be doing your supervisor a great favor to tell her what you have told me. She needs to have a complete physical examination to determine the cause of the problem. (I am assuming that the woman bathes or showers daily and wears clean clothes.)

Since you cannot go on the way things are, you have nothing to lose by speaking up, as long as you do it in a kindly manner.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my 80s, and in fairly good health. I still drive a car, do my own cooking, baking, vacuuming, etc.

My wife has been in a nursing home for more than four years with Alzheimer's. She is well cared for. They feed her, dress and bathe her, and do everything necessary to keep her comfortable. I visit her twice a day.

When I meet people, or they call me on the telephone, the first thing they ask me is, "How is your wife doing?" I appreciate their concern about her, but nobody ever asks, "How are you doing?" "How are you getting along?"

I'm not looking for sympathy, Abby, but on the other hand, sometimes I could use a kind word or an invitation. – LONESOME IN SEAL BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR LONESOME: Yours is a common problem and you have my sympathy regardless. People do not mean to be insensitive, they simply haven't experienced what you're going through and don't understand how emotionally isolated you are.

The Alzheimer's Association gives referrals to family support groups nationwide. The toll-free phone number is 1-800-272-3900. Please don't wait to call them. Trust me; you'll be glad you did.

DEAR ABBY: Is there a kind way to direct houseguests to the main bathroom? For some reason, some of our guests –- even after repeated requests to do otherwise -– will use only the small private bathroom located off our bedroom.

These are well-meaning people (I think) who don't want to "mess up" the main bathroom, but we want our privacy! That's our private turf. We have even had some of them go through our closed bedroom door!

Is there any way other than not inviting these people over to get them to stay out of our private bathroom? Please don't reveal my name, city or state. We don't want to lose friends. We ... JUST WANT OUR PRIVACY

DEAR JUST: Yes. Keep the door to any room that is off limits locked. If anyone questions you about it, tell that person exactly what you told me. (With a smile, of course.)

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am writing about a close call with my daughter that could have been catastrophic. Feel free to share this with your readers.

I had several errands to run and took my 6-year-old daughter along for company. She was well-behaved, and I wanted to reward her. I don't like to buy toys and treats as rewards, so I decided to allow her to help me on my next errand to show my appreciation.

I stopped at the gas station and got out to fill my car with gas. My daughter asked if she could help. I hesitated for a moment, and then decided it would be all right because I would hold the handle and she could stand next to me with her hand also on the handle of the nozzle. When she asked me about the numbers on the pump, I pointed to them with my free hand to explain. As I did so, the nozzle slipped a little and the gasoline hit the inside of the tank opening. This created a back splash that splashed gasoline into my daughter's face and eyes.

I was horror stricken, overwhelmed with panic when she screamed. I didn't know what to do and tried to calm her and wipe her face.

Fortunately, a mechanic at a nearby pump came running to help. He grabbed my daughter and ran to a sink in the garage and began flooding her eyes with water. He kept it up for a good five minutes and then located a water bottle from an emergency kit to continue flushing out her eyes.

Luckily, my daughter's sight was not damaged and she suffered only a slight burn on her head and arm.

Abby, I am mortified to have allowed such a stupid, dangerous thing to happen to my daughter. This experience taught me to be extremely cautious and never to allow my children to help me when chemicals or potentially dangerous items are being used.

This incident happened several years ago, but I was too embarrassed by my ignorance to write to you. After discovering that some of my friends allow young children to help them pump gasoline, I summoned up the courage to write this as a warning to other parents. Sign me ... MUCH WISER MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR MOM: Thank you for the warning. I hope that other parents will learn from your near disaster.

DEAR ABBY: I recently walked in on my father-in-law kissing his other daughter-in-law. It wasn't a fatherly kiss. It was after a family dinner, and I was on my way to the bathroom when I saw them in an adjacent bedroom. I'm almost certain they know I saw them, and now I feel very awkward in front of them.

My husband has noticed my strange behavior and nervousness and is wondering why. Should I tell him what I saw? Or should I confront my sister-in-law and father-in-law? I don't want this to have an effect on my relationship with my in-laws, but I don't feel I can keep this to myself. I also would not like anyone to find out that I knew what was going on and said nothing. -- GROSSED OUT AND CONFUSED, NEW GALILEE, PA.

DEAR CONFUSED: Tell your husband what you saw. It's a bombshell. The two of you can then decide together how you want to handle it. There's strength -– and safety –- in numbers.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, I was in a car accident and was prescribed the painkiller Vicodin. Because of some bad personal relationships and terrible choices, I became addicted.

During the years I was addicted, I became involved with a patient in the medical office where I was working as a secretary. He seemed sincere and caring. I thought he was "the one." My addiction grew to the point where, at times, I was afraid I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I felt guilty and ashamed. I wanted to tell "Mr. Perfect," but I was afraid I'd lose him.

To feed my addiction, I resorted to forging a prescription. I was caught and arrested. Mr. Perfect assured me he understood and would be supportive. That lasted two days. When he was teased by his co-workers, who read about my arrest in the newspaper, he broke up with me.

To my surprise, the doctor I worked for and his wife were compassionate and forgiving. They got me into treatment. It saved my life.

Abby, please assure your readers who may have drug problems that it may not be easy, but they can live drug-free. They shouldn't keep their drug addiction a secret for fear of embarrassment. Prescription drugs can be as dangerous as street drugs. People must educate themselves before taking anything. Those who have never experienced addiction shouldn't look down on people who have one. Addiction can happen to anyone. –- RECOVERING IN A SMALL TOWN, U.S.A.

DEAR RECOVERING: Pain is a huge public health problem. While the medical establishment is keenly aware of the need for pain management, there is also concern about media reports of misuse of pain medications such as OxyContin.

I learned from Tom Strouse, M.D., psychiatrist and director of pain management at Cedars-Sinai Comprehensive Cancer Center in Los Angeles:

"People at greatest risk for misusing prescription pain medications tend to have a prior history of substance abuse, but they, too, deserve -– and can receive -– pain relief without reactivation of their addiction. There is scientific evidence that patients with pain problems do better when the pain is recognized and treated effectively early on in an illness.

"Although opioid pain relievers (morphine, codeine, etc.) are considered the mainstay for serious pain problems, many nonhabit-forming medications can be as effective or more effective than opioids for particular kinds of pain, such as nerve, bone and soft tissue pains. There are also a host of proven nonmedication techniques, including physical therapies, chiropractic, massage and acupuncture, hypnosis, relaxation and other psychological treatments."

Finding pain management experts and communicating openly and honestly with them is the crucial strategy. For information on services available locally, consult the American Pain Society at www.ampainsoc.org or the American Alliance of Cancer Pain Initiatives at www.aacpi.org.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "THE MIDDLE-SCHOOL MISFIT": Don't lose hope. The great entertainer Bette Midler also felt she was a misfit when she was a child. Fortunately, she finally realized that being different wasn't the problem she thought it was. As she put it: "I didn't belong as a kid and that always bothered me. If only I'd known that one day my differences would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier."

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)