DEAR ABBY: My sister, two brothers and I are in our teens. We are being raised by a single mother. We're finally beginning to realize how hard she works to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table and smiles on our faces.

Although Father's Day has passed, we hope you'll print this poem we wrote to her to show we appreciate everything she does for us. Abby, would you please? -- THE OLDEST OF FOUR IN PHOENIX

DEAR OLDEST: I'm delighted to share your original poem with other single mothers who also bear the full responsibility of their children -- and do it well. Read on:

TO FATHER ON HER SPECIAL DAY

We're writing you a poem to say

Have a Happy Father's Day.

There are things our dad should do

But instead you filled his shoes.

And did so well in his position

When he left, we didn't miss him.

No one could have ever guessed

A pretty girl could be the best

At doing stuff reserved for Dad

Without us driving you quite mad.

And we're not sure who spread the lie

About how Dad should be a guy.

'Cause even though you wear a bra

We couldn't ask for a better pa.

The calendar might clearly say

This is father's special day.

And you might think it rather queer

That you will get two days this year.

Two decades wouldn't be enough

To show how much you mean to us

We don't care if you're a girl

You're still the best dad in the world!

DEAR ABBY: I strongly agree with your response to "Inmate on a Dead End," who said he was "on a one-way trip down a road that leads nowhere." He felt hopeless about his future behind bars.

My husband is living proof that you don't have to be stuck on a dead end. When he was 18 he made some horrible mistakes. He got mixed up with drugs and the wrong crowd. He was tried on 15 counts of armed robbery and convicted on two of them. He was sent to prison (and rightfully so) for 15 years, and gave up hope for ever having a different life.

Fortunately for him, two years into his sentence common sense kicked in. He gave up drugs and started taking the classes offered to him in prison. After six years of good behavior, he was released on parole -- which is when I met him.

After getting to know this man and finding out who he once was, compared to who he has become in the past 10 years, I cannot say enough about how proud I am of him.

In the four years since his release, he has ended his parole and is completing his college degree. We have gotten married, and just purchased our first home. These are accomplishments he never believed possible when he was first locked up.

I want "Inmate" to know that one is never beyond hope. Prison may be the best thing that ever happened to him -- it was for my husband. -- PROUD WIFE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR PROUD WIFE: Your testimonial will be welcomed by many prisoners and their families. It's never too late for a new beginning. Where there is life, there is hope.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Earlier this year, you printed a poem, "Words of Love?" about what abusers say. My wife told me for years that I was abusing her, but I didn't believe it. I grew up in a home where we were severely controlled and abused by our father. My brother and sister were also sexually abused by Dad. I'm lucky I escaped that kind of abuse. We have all confronted him. He has no remorse for what he did.

When I read the poem, I realized that I had been abusing my wife. Since my whole life had been built on not being like my father, I don't know how I let this happen.

I cut the poem out and had it laminated. I always carry it with me. I will NEVER say those things to my wife -- or any woman -- again.

I gave my wife a copy of the poem with the abuses highlighted that I had committed, along with flowers, my sincere apology, and my promise never to abuse her again.

It's amazing how much better I feel about myself since I recognized my abusive behavior and decided to change. The poem said abusers don't change, but as God is my witness, I will. I am seeing a therapist in an attempt to deal with my childhood and put the "old me" behind me.

Abby, had I not read your column, I never would have seen myself in the mirror of that poem. You get credit for changing my life. -- G. IN TEXAS

DEAR G.: I am pleased that you saw yourself in that poem and made a commitment to change. Please let me know in a year if the change is permanent. I hope and pray that it will be. I'm rooting for you.

P.S. I hope that your brother and sister reported your father's sexual abuse to the police. He belongs on a list of sexual predators, particularly if there are any small children living near him.

DEAR ABBY: Ever since my husband and I got married, we have showered together almost daily. Neither of us wants to stop this daily ritual, but as our first child becomes more aware of her surroundings, we are concerned about whether we need to stop.

We don't intend to shower in front of her, but we don't know how we should react if she accidentally walks in on us.

Our lives have become more complex, and we hate to give up the few moments we still have alone -- but we don't want to cause any psychological harm to our children either. -- WATER CONSERVATIONIST IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WATER CONSERVATIONIST: I see no reason to stop showering with your husband. If your child intrudes, simply grab a towel and keep your cool.

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday, as I read your column on the bus, my eyes filled with tears, and I was overcome with thoughts of my father. I was lucky to have had one of the greatest fathers who ever lived. He was a special man, and he made me feel special. Sadly, one rainy, spring morning in 1998, Dad never woke up.

After reading about all the experiences your readers had in finding pennies from their loved ones, I regained my composure and exited the bus. As my foot hit the pavement, I looked down. There, shining up at me, was a bright 1998 penny, gleaming on the rain-soaked sidewalk! I picked it up because I knew it was a penny from my angel Dad. I'll never part with it. -- DAD'S GIRL

DEAR DAD'S GIRL: I'm glad you found a token of your father's love for you. It's nice to have a tangible reminder.

The "pennies from heaven" letters are still coming in. It's a subject that has touched the hearts of many.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married woman with two beautiful children and a terrific husband. When I was younger, my parents would not allow me to date until I was 18. Even when I turned 18, I still wasn't allowed to date. So I devised a plan. I would lie to my parents and sneak around. My boyfriend at the time -- now my husband of 10 years -- has two sisters. I asked one of them to help me to see my boyfriend. My parents always thought she was just a friend. To this day, my parents still don't know my husband has two sisters. They think he has only one.

I can't believe I have let this lie drag on for so long. I was young and foolish. I need to let them know because eventually it's going to come out.

My parents live out of state, so when I call them and tell them, maybe it won't be so bad. Can you suggest a better way to tell them? Now that I'm older I realize my parents were just trying to protect us and keep us out of trouble. If only I could wipe away this lie.

Please advise me. -- GUILTY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR GUILTY: First of all, please stop feeling guilty. Dating is one of the ways that young people mature socially. Most teen-agers in this country start dating by the time they are 16. There were valid reasons for your acting the way you did. You were fortunate that the first boy you dated turned out to be a terrific husband. Your choice certainly wasn't based on experience.

The next time you speak with your parents, ask when they plan to visit. Then tell them you have a surprise for them -- they're going to meet a new member of the family. Their introduction should be made face-to-face. You are all adults now. You should no longer need your parents' permission or approval. (Frankly, I think they owe you an apology for putting you in the position they did.)

DEAR ABBY: You printed a letter from "Happy Granny in Waldo, Fla." about when to talk to children about sex. You said it reminded you of a story: Seven-year-old Tommy asked his mother where he came from. She gave him "the lecture," to which he responded, "Oh. My friend Jimmy said he came from St. Louis."

My son's father died when he was 2, so I was left to deal with the mountain of never-ending questions. Beating around the bush was unacceptable to my son. When he was 6, he asked how the baby had gotten into the stomach of a woman at church. I explained about planting seeds and flowers growing. He then proceeded to ask how the seed got planted, who planted it, and what part the daddy played in this. On and on -- until finally, after admonishing my son not to share this information with his younger friends, I gave him "the facts of life" lecture in as much detail as he seemed to want.

As long as I live, I will never forget his shocked, mortified expression as he lifted his little face to heaven and prayed, "Oh, God, isn't there any OTHER way?" -- HAPPY MOM IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR HAPPY MOM: From the mouths of babes. I assume he got over his shock as he grew older.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $7.90 ($9 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)