DEAR ABBY: I am writing because I have no one else who will give me advice. I am a freshman in high school and have never really been interested in playing sports. I am on the speech team, math club and newspaper staff.

My parents feel that I have to play a sport. They have paid for lessons in dance and tennis, but I really have no interest in playing. I even tried to make the dance team to please them, but I didn't make it. They just don't seem to understand that I don't like sports. Today I had my tennis lesson and played really bad. I tried, but I must have had an off day.

When I got in the car, my parents chewed me out. They said I was lazy, and I was going to play a sport whether I liked it or not. I like to play tennis occasionally, but I'm not in love with it.

Can you help me get the message across to them that I don't want to play sports, nor do I like them? Please help! -- ELLEN IN FRANKLIN, TENN.

DEAR ELLEN: You have my sympathy. I took tennis lessons for seven months straight. At the end of that time the only person I could rally with was my instructor because no matter where I hit the ball, he could manage to get it back to me. No one else was so generous. So the answer to the question, "Tennis, anyone?" is, "Perhaps. But not EVERYone."

Your parents may be trying to teach you the importance of being physically fit as well as intellectually active. Exercise relieves stress, tones muscles and burns calories, to mention only a few of the plusses. A compromise may be in order. Rather than taking tennis lessons, ask them if you can join a gym and agree to go there three or four times a week for cardiovascular exercise and some weight-training with professional supervision. You'll be learning health habits that will last a lifetime -- and it will get you off your rusty-dusty.

DEAR ABBY: Your letters about putting cash or checks in sympathy cards remind me of the one and only time I was the recipient of such a gift. In 1966, my first husband, Barry, committed suicide, leaving me a widow at age 26. We were living in Los Angeles. Barry worked for a mail courier service and got to know an African-American gentleman who was a supervisor at the post office. He and his wife became our friends, and it was they who tucked a few bills in their sympathy card. It made me wonder if they came from a wiser and more generous culture than I did.

I will always remember Ben and Claire Gibson for their precious gift of friendship and the opportunity to get to know their friends and family. Thanks to that beginning, I have been open to and able to form other such precious friendships. I've lost contact with them, but if they are still on this Earth, I hope they will read this. You may print my name. -– JOCELYN KEENAN HOWELLS, PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR JOCELYN: You're right. The gift of their friendship was more valuable and long-lasting than the money. I, too, hope they read your letter.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter will be 18 in a few weeks. She has announced that at that time she will be of "legal age" and will no longer have to obey us. She believes she can drive anywhere (in our car), buy anything she wants (with our money), and not have to abide by a curfew (while living under our roof and paying no rent).

We have tried to explain that this is not how "legal age" works if she intends to continue living in our house. She insists she has the "right" to demand our money and make the rules.

Would you please shed some light on what "legal age" means? She reads your column. Thank you. –- DISTRAUGHT CHICAGO PARENTS

DEAR DISTRAUGHT: Gladly! It's time your daughter learned the realities of life. First among them is that as long as she lives under your roof and is supported by you, she must be respectful and obey the rules of the house. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I thought you and your readers might be interested in what our local parent-teacher organization publishes for the families of high school students. It's a list of legal documents students should have when they reach their 18th birthday and are legally adults.

1. A will. A will is a document that provides for the way a person's property will be distributed upon death. Without a will, the owner's property will be distributed according to the state statute governing descent.

2. Living Will. This additional document gives specific directions in the event of a terminal condition.

3. General Power of Attorney. Through this legal document, a person appoints or empowers another person to act on his or her behalf. A young adult usually appoints a parent. For example, if the child is away at school, the parent can legally handle banking, motor vehicle and tax return obligations for the student. The document could become especially important should the child become disabled, incompetent or incapacitated, as might happen in an accident.

4. Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. This is similar to the general power of attorney. In this case, the appointed person can make only health care decisions, and they can be made only if the individual does not have the capacity to make informed decisions.

For an unmarried teen, the typical cost of these four documents, prepared by a legal firm, is about $200 to $300. –- OHIO MOM

DEAR OHIO MOM: I'm sure your letter will be a wake-up call to any teen who wants to be a responsible adult.

DEAR ABBY: Recently I was informed that two of my poems are to be published by a prestigious poetry organization. My wife and I are delighted and decided to celebrate.

At first we planned to go to Busch Gardens. Upon reflection, we decided that I should go to the beach alone. We remembered the old adage: "A bard in the sand is worth two in the Busch." –- MARTY IN FALLBROOK, CALIF.

DEAR MARTY: You win. I'm speechless. Not only are you a published bard, but from my perspective, you're quite a card.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Please urge "Wants Freedom From the Apron Strings," the 34-year-old woman who lives with her controlling parents, to run -- not walk -- to get her own apartment. It is the only way she will ever have a life of her own.

Forty years ago, I, too, wanted my freedom from my mother's apron strings. I was 18 and had dated "Tom" for three years. After our high school graduation, Tom invited me to visit him in Tennessee where he was working. I had always been intimidated by my mother. She told me I couldn't go unless I took someone with me. I told Tom what she had said, and he replied, "If I wanted to date the baby sitter, I would invite the baby sitter." I never made it to Tennessee.

Abby, Tom treated me with respect and was always good to me. I knew he loved me. I loved him, and I felt we could have a bright future together.

Every day of my life I regret I did not stand up to my mother. I have loved Tom for 40 years and will never get over him. He is long married, but in my heart he will always be mine. I have seen him from time to time over the years, and I still feel the same way.

Twenty years ago, I was diagnosed with depression. The doctor advised me that if I did not leave my mother's house I would have a nervous breakdown. I finally got an apartment of my own. I still live in the same town. My relationship with my mother is full of resentment, even after all these years. I'm afraid I will always be ... CONTROLLED AND TRAPPED

DEAR CONTROLLED AND TRAPPED: I'm sorry you didn't write to me decades ago, because my advice would have been the same. You have many good years ahead of you. Counseling may help you to let go of the resentment you feel for your mother, while helping you to avoid feeling trapped. Only then will you really be free to be your own person.

DEAR ABBY: I thought you might enjoy a true story about grandparents as role models. It honors the unsung heroes in our lives:

As a boy, I grew up on Grandfather Herb's farm. He also worked as a school bus driver. In my eyes, his wisdom was boundless.

After years of listening to my grandfather's stories, it seemed logical to ask his opinion about my career choice. I had become a teacher in an inner-city school and was doubting my "calling" to teach difficult students.

Grandpa Herb told me to look at my hands. "See," he said, "there are 10 fingers. They are all different and useful. But you don't remember the nine good fingers when you have a sore thumb!"

His "sore thumb" analogy helped me to see past problems and focus on the nine "good fingers" in my classroom. I've been teaching for more than 20 years now, and I thank heaven for my wise grandfather who taught me to focus on what's really important. –- ISADORE "IZZY" SORCE, GREENFIELD, WIS.

P.S. Grandpa Herb is now 95!

DEAR IZZY: Only 95? Thumbs up for Grandfather Herb. He's wise beyond his years.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)