DEAR ABBY: My 20-year-old daughter, "Justine," has gotten pregnant. She is not married and lives with her boyfriend, his mother and brother. I did not raise her this way.
My problem is she asked me how many baby showers I plan to give her. I told her none. She asked me why. I told her it is not appropriate to give a baby shower "under the circumstances." The few choice words she had for me were so bad I hung up on her.
Abby, her boyfriend doesn't work, and half the time neither does Justine. I was so angry I forgot to tell her that her father and I would make sure she and her baby had what they needed. Should I try to make amends and give her a baby shower? -- GRANDMA-TO-BE IN ALABAMA
DEAR GRANDMA-TO-BE: First, it is improper for a mother to give a shower for her married or unmarried daughter. It should be hosted by a friend, an aunt or a cousin.
Second, whether you approve or not, the baby is a fact of life. So accept it, and try to be a little less judgmental. Your daughter and grandchild will need your support emotionally, and probably financially.
Third, your husband should have a heart-to-heart talk with the young man. He must be told what is expected of him as a man, breadwinner and father-to-be because it appears he hasn't a clue.