DEAR ABBY: My husband, a paid firefighter who teaches fire-fighting classes, invited one of his young female students, whom he says has the utmost respect for him, to room with him at a seminar they attended out of town.
He didn't tell me about his plans, but I suspected it when he told me not to expect a phone call from him that night as it would be a late class, etc. I called the hotel and there was no reservation in her name.
When I came right out and asked him if she stayed with him, he admitted it. He swore she simply slept in the other bed after having too many drinks with the gang and "couldn't drive home."
Abby, she is 22 years his junior. Is it possible that this could be innocent? Is this considered acceptable? -- TORN IN KANSAS
DEAR TORN: It's possible the situation was innocent -- but not probable. Where there's smoke, there's fire.
Your husband's behavior was extremely inappropriate -- neither acceptable nor wise. Teachers with seniority are assumed to have more "power" in relationships than young, impressionable students. Students may be afraid to say no -- particularly if they have "utmost respect" for the person making the proposition.