DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, I met and fell desperately in love with a cowboy named "Slim." I believed everything he told me -- that he had married only once and was divorced, that he had only one son. Lies, all lies. Slim was still married when he married me. He stole money and property from me, then took off to be with a woman in another state.

Abby, I adored Slim and was very good to him. I supported him, believing that he couldn't work because he was on disability. We never had sex because he told me he had a bad heart and couldn't perform, plus he had personal injuries from being gored by a bull in a rodeo. I bought him everything he needed and wanted -- clothes, medicine, you name it.

I took my retirement money and set Slim up in a flea-market business, but he took everything and ran off with another woman -- not once, but twice. I guess I wasn't thinking straight because I believed him the second time, only to have him rob me again and leave.

Now he's calling and saying he will do anything to make it work again, but he's still in another state with that woman.

What can I do to get him out of my life and to stop loving him? -- NAIVE NELLIE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR NELLIE: Recognize that sometimes what we want is not good for us. This can apply to chocolate, alcohol and cowboys named Slim. Distance yourself and stop accepting his phone calls. Also, report him to the police. He is a bigamist and a con artist.

DEAR ABBY: I started smoking marijuana eight years ago. I consider myself a "social smoker." I quit for three years, then went back to using it. I can go for months without it, but always return to getting stoned again. I keep telling myself I have to stop.

If I continue using grass, I know I will never hold a good job, because I would test positive if the company has random drug testing. I want to quit. Is going to rehab the only way? Or are there other alternatives? Please help me. -- ALL "SMOKED" OUT

DEAR ALL "SMOKED" OUT: I admire the fact you recognize you have a problem that must be dealt with. Since you haven't been able to break the habit on your own, rehab and drug counseling are indicated to end your psychological addiction. Good luck.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a large hospital. Signs are posted everywhere asking people not to use cellular phones inside the facility. Believe it or not, some people ignore the request and use their cell phones anyway. The fact is, cell phones interfere with monitoring equipment in the emergency room, operating rooms, critical and intensive care units, neonatal units, etc.

Abby, please urge your readers to either use a pay phone for their calls, or step outside the hospital to use their cell phone. -- CONCERNED HEALTH CARE WORKER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONCERNED: The activity you have described could be life-threatening. If I were a hospital employee who witnessed such a flagrant disregard for the rules, I would notify security and have the person escorted outside.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in a two-booklet set. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $7.90 per set ($9 per set in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: More than a year ago, my daughter's boyfriend was thrown out of his parents' house. My husband and I opened our home to him because we felt sorry for him. The deal was, he could stay with us until he got on his own feet.

The problem is, he's still here, and we now have a grandchild from him. He barely supports the baby, let alone himself, and I have reason to believe he is cheating on my daughter. He has even put the moves on me. (They were halted promptly.) We have kicked him out several times, but he keeps returning.

How can I open my daughter's eyes to this person? No matter what I or her friends say, she still loves him and believes in him. –- UPSET MOM IN MINNESOTA

DEAR MOM: It's time for the gravy train to stop and your daughter's boyfriend to disembark until he can provide a home and support for your daughter and the baby. You are doing no one a favor by allowing him to continue to be a parasite.

Explain to your daughter that until this man gets settled, it would be better for the baby -– and her -– to remain with you. Common sense tells me that could be a long, long time. She should also prepare herself to support her child, because the father is showing all the signs of being a deadbeat dad. Then pray that while concentrating on the practicalities of life, she will grow up and realize that the responsibility for her and her child's future rests entirely on her shoulders.

As much as you love your daughter, you can protect her from reality no longer. I anticipate a bumpy ride ahead and wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: In your reply to "Still Laughing in Short Hills, N.J.," you said, "Perhaps those who think of a wedding as a fund-raiser should consider charging admission. (Only kidding!)."

Well, that's exactly what my husband and I did. Our wedding took place at a historical ranch that was being restored. It was held in conjunction with an annual event hosted in part by our local historical society. While it was in the planning stages, it was suggested that we be married at the ranch in period clothing. The catch was that our wedding would be considered the "entertainment" for that day, and anyone who attended the event would be welcome to witness the marriage ceremony and have cake. The entrance fee/donation was $1.

We sent 50 invitations to family and friends, and everyone came. The event made money (some of our friends donated more than the $1 entrance fee), and our wedding was held in beautiful surroundings with loving friends. Everyone had a great time. It was a win-win situation. It's still the talk of the town five years later.

So, you see, you can have a tasteful wedding/fund-raiser -– if it's done right. -– HAPPILY MARRIED, RIO LINDA, CALIF.

DEAR HAPPILY MARRIED: So I see. However, if it's done "wrong," it can appear to be a fund-raiser for the bride and groom -– who should be self-supporting -– and not for such a worthy cause.

DEAR ABBY: I read with interest the letters about pennies, but I have always wondered, if someone says, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put in your "2 cents worth," where does the other penny go? –- TOM W., MILWAUKEE

DEAR TOM W: The other penny covers the rate of inflation since that saying was "coined."

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been criticized because "Dennis," my live-in boyfriend, is strict with my two children, who are 8 and 9.

They are supposed to straighten the quilts on their beds before leaving for school. The other day, they forgot. So Dennis tore their beds apart. He dumped everything on the floor so they would have to totally remake their beds. My mother says this is cruelty. What do you think? -- DIVORCED MOM IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DIVORCED MOM: I agree with your mother. It is your home. You should administer discipline to your children, not your current live-in boyfriend. If there's any more "dumping" to be done, consider dumping him to ensure there will be no more emotional abuse of your children.

DEAR ABBY: I recently got back together with my ex. We only broke up for a month. We had been dating for close to two years before the split. We're doing great now, but I'm starting to have some problems.

Whenever he wants to spend time with his friends, I freak out and start crying. I don't know why I do this. I know he needs some time with the guys, but I always seem to flip out over it. It's not like I think he's doing something he's not supposed to. I just want him around constantly, and it hurts my feelings when he takes off to be with the boys. I have always had a problem with this, and I don't know why. Other than that, we have a great relationship. Any ideas? -- NEEDY IN MILWAUKIE, ORE.

DEAR NEEDY: Your boyfriend must care for you very much to tolerate your clinginess and crying jags as well as he has. Whatever the cause, you could benefit greatly from counseling to get to the root of them. I urge you to resolve this, because if you don't, your insecurity and neediness will drive your boyfriend –- and any other man who replaces him –- away.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been invited to a formal, "white-tie" reception and sit-down dinner. I have finally found the perfect gown. I'm planning on wearing long, white gloves that I've had for many years, but never had occasion to wear.

What I'm unsure about is what to do with my gloves once I get there. Can I wear jewelry over my gloves? Should they be removed for dinner? Shall I leave them off for dancing? I'm looking forward to being dressed to the nines, but don't want to overdo it. Help! -- ALL DRESSED UP IN WILMINGTON, DEL.

DEAR ALL DRESSED UP: A woman can wear a bracelet over long gloves, but rings should never be worn over gloved fingers. My fashion experts agree that gloves should be removed before sitting down at the dinner table. They can be put back on for dancing afterward.

One more tip: If a woman wearing gloves is part of a receiving line, it's proper for her to keep them on. However, any guest going down the line should have an ungloved hand to offer.

Here's hoping your formal affair is a night to remember!

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)