DEAR ABBY: Because of today's ever-improving technology in wireless phones, millions of Americans have cell phones lying around that are no longer being used.

Instead of tossing them in the garbage when new ones are purchased, these handsets can be given to the "Donate-A-Phone" program that helps domestic violence victims. Sponsored by the Wireless Foundation, the "Donate-A-Phone" campaign was launched in September 1999 to collect and refurbish a portion of the 24 million wireless phones no longer being used. The phones are reprogrammed with 911 and other emergency numbers so domestic violence victims can access local emergency services and hot-line numbers at the touch of a button.

From May 1 to July 31, 2001, RadioShack is once again partnering with the Wireless Foundation to collect cell phones for the program. Abby, please let your readers know they can help victims of domestic violence by donating their old wireless phones. -- JILL A. LAIN, RADIOSHACK

DEAR JILL: What a terrific idea! Prepare for a deluge, because I'm sure that many people who see your letter will be delighted to join your "Donate-A-Phone" campaign.

Readers: Between May 1 and July 31, your outdated cell phone may be dropped off at any of RadioShack's 7,100 stores. Phones and accessories in any condition will be gladly accepted, and all donations are tax-deductible to the fullest extent of the law. IRS regulations prohibit the receiving organization from placing a value on donated items, but generally, the fair-market value can be claimed on your tax return.

For further information on this campaign, access the Web site: www.donateaphone.com.

DEAR ABBY: Whenever there is a death in or outside of our family, my mother always sends a card with cash in it to the grieving family. This mortifies me. She sends $5 to $50 for funeral expenses regardless of the financial situation of those in mourning. It seems so tacky. I beg her to send food or flowers or just a card, but she continues to send cash every time.

What do you think? -- MORTIFIED DAUGHTER IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MORTIFIED: Lighten up! This may be a generational difference. It is certainly a caring gesture -- and I cannot see that it is in any way "tacky." If the grieving family doesn't need the money, it can always be forwarded to the deceased's favorite charity.

DEAR ABBY: Why do athletes get paid more than teachers and policemen? They are the people who educate us and keep us safe. I believe the public can live without watching athletes, but can't live without people who keep us safe and make us smart. -- GRACE KOUBA, AGE 9, EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR GRACE: You have asked a very good question. Athletes earn huge salaries because of the money and publicity they bring to the teams that hire them. Millions of fans pay big money to see their favorite athletes play. Whether their "service" is of more value than what a teacher or police officer has to offer is a matter of perspective -- and a lesson in capitalism.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I was in a relationship with a woman for more than four years. It ended two years ago. The hardest part was not being able to see her 7-year-old son, "Teddy," anymore. During the time we were together, he thought of me as his father. He called me Daddy, and every day told me he loved me. (His real father has never been a part of his life.)

To be frank, I miss the little guy more than I miss his mother. When we parted, I told Teddy I loved him and always would. I think of him often. Unfortunately, I have had no contact with them since they moved to a different state.

Abby, I recently met another woman. She is very nice, and we get along well. She has three kids, ages 7 to 15. I have feelings for their mom, and I know she has feelings for me. However, I am unsure about going forward with this relationship. I can't endure loving someone's kids as my own, and maybe having history repeat itself should we break up. I still have not recovered from being separated from Teddy.

I am mature enough to know that you must take chances in life. I also know that if I don't move forward with this, I'll probably regret it. Any advice? -- JUST NOT SURE, SPARKS, NEV.

DEAR JUST NOT SURE: If you feel strongly about this woman, make your move. You can't go through life looking over your shoulder.

Write to Teddy and ask how he is doing. Tell him you miss him and think of him often, and assure him that he was not the cause of the breakup with his mother. Sometimes children blame themselves for things that are not their fault.

DEAR ABBY: I am 21 and about to graduate from college. I recently broke off a three-year engagement with my high-school sweetheart. I know it's unbelievable, but I have already met another man who is everything I could ever want in a husband. He has a good job, is caring, sensitive and attractive. Things are going well between us, but I have some reservations: He's divorced and has two children, ages 9 and 5.

I have not yet met his children. They live with his ex-wife. I really like this man, and I love children. My friends and family think I will be holding myself back if I get further involved with a man who has a ready-made family.

Abby, do you think I am setting myself up to be hurt by falling for someone who has an ex-wife and two children? Should I just go with my feeling that this could be the right person for me? Is it wise to get into a relationship at my age with an older man and end up raising his children when I don't yet have my own? Please respond. -- YOUNG AND CONFUSED

DEAR YOUNG: Take your time. You may still be on the rebound from ending that long engagement. This man could be for you, but it is too soon to tell.

Ask him to introduce you to his children and his ex-wife. See for yourself what your relationship with this man would be like with all of them in your life. You need more information before making any decisions that could last a lifetime. Once you've got it, follow your intuition.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in a two-booklet set. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $7.90 per set ($9 per set in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, I discovered an incredible need teachers have. The day after school ended, I had a couple of free hours and impulsively stopped by the school and offered to help my daughter's teacher pack up for the summer. You would have thought I donated an organ! What I did was not hard: We took down bulletin boards, packed books, etc. It was quite enjoyable.

Before school began in the fall, I offered my services again, but this time my 18- and 15-year-old daughters joined me. The teachers nearly named a day after us. We cleaned cubbies, arranged desks, cut out shapes and set out supplies. It doesn't matter if you have one hour or four. It makes a difference.

The most wonderful part was my daughters telling the teachers they had no idea how much work teachers devote to preparing for their pupils.

I recommend this as a wonderful volunteer opportunity. The added benefit was exposing my teen-agers to the "behind-the-scenes" activities of these energetic, committed professional teachers. -- KAREN WARREN, GAINESVILLE, FLA.

DEAR KAREN: A terrific idea. Everyone's a winner when everyone chips in, but why stop there? Schools welcome the continual involvement of parents in their children's education, and that involvement results in more diligent students.

DEAR ABBY: I read in this morning's paper the letter from the paramedic who was called to the home where the little boy drowned. It was a sad letter that made my heart ache.

We have a fence around our pool and keep the gate securely locked. Our son knows how to swim and follows the safety rules we have established.

I thought I was a responsible pool owner -- until last Mother's Day. We had invited friends over for a cookout and swimming party. We ate in shifts so an adult would always be with the children as they swam. My friend and I were eating poolside; her husband was in the pool with the children. All four of the little ones (under 5) had taken swimming lessons and were good swimmers. My friend's son was floating on a kickboard. We looked away for a moment, and when we looked back, he was nowhere to be seen. We moved the kickboard, and there he was, trying to come up for air! Somehow, I managed to reach in and grab him.

We were lucky. He had been holding his breath. In a few more seconds, he would have drowned. All this happened in 3 feet of water, 3 feet from me, and with five adults in the pool area.

Since then, we have added new rules: We now have at least one adult watcher for every three children. This person must be alert at all times and watch the children. We rotate so the same adult isn't always the watcher. If a child cannot swim, he or she must wear a life vest, and the parents are responsible for their children the entire time they are in the pool.

Abby, a fence around a pool and a locked gate are mandatory. We had a close call we will never forget. Safety rules must not only be established, but strenuously observed. -- LIFEGUARDING MOM IN PHOENIX

DEAR LIFEGUARDING MOM: There is no telling how many lives you may have saved today because you took the time to write.

Thank you for pointing out that it is not enough to be in the vicinity of a pool -- or other body of water -- when children are in it. The children must be watched closely at all times.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)