DEAR ABBY: I just finished the letter from "Living Single in Des Moines," the bride of three months who still lives apart from her husband because he refused to get rid of the "filth and clutter" so she could move in.

My husband was also a farmer. I was a city gal. For the first five years of our marriage he lived in the farmhouse, and I lived in town 50 miles away. We finally built a house in a town near him. He had a difficult time deciding to go ahead with the construction. During the construction, he wanted to quit and leave the house unfinished. My college-age son and I completed the inside of the house.

My husband delayed moving in as long as possible. He was never happy there and constantly harped on selling it, which we finally did. I moved back to the city. He returned to his old farmhouse, which is filthy and filled with clutter, rodents and bugs. He has a space heater in one room for the entire house and the water is contaminated, but this is where he wants to be.

I spent countless hours trying to clean up the farmhouse, but he didn't like it that way.

If I had been smart, I would have gotten an annulment right away as you suggested to the bride, because this type of man does not change. That poor woman is setting herself up for years of heartache. -- KNOWS BETTER NOW (ALSO FROM IOWA)

DEAR KNOWS BETTER NOW: When I advised the disillusioned bride to talk to an attorney about an annulment, I thought I might catch some flak from readers. Interestingly, not one of the many people who commented on that letter disagreed with my answer. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Good for you! You told "Living Single" to get an annulment after marrying a man who reneged on his promise to clean up his cluttered, dirty home so they could live together. You are so right. She should run to the nearest lawyer.

I am on my second marriage -- now 10 years in duration -- to a junkaholic. My first husband encouraged me to take a job in a distant city, but when he saw that the apartment I found was large enough for our family but not for his broken lawn furniture, flat-tired bicycles and rusting tools, he made a U-turn on the next plane home and divorced me.

The man who became my second husband seemed much more intelligent and reasonable (he is much more successful than my first). I thought he'd surely see that the relocations involved in getting promoted in his field would be much more work if we hauled around every piece of paper, every warped record, every broken chair he had in college. I was wrong.

If "Des Moines" finds the clutter jarring now, wait tilL it has a few years to marinate. A guy who does nothing about the mess now never will. And time ensures it will only get worse.

I probably should get counseling to find out why I keep marrying men who would be happier living in a Dumpster, but I won't. I'm too tired to remarry. I hope that poor woman takes your advice. -- BURIED IN WEST PALM BEACH

DEAR BURIED: So do I. While help is available for obsessive-compulsive disorders, the first and most obvious step in resolving a problem is admitting there is one and seeking help. Since living with his bride of three months isn't incentive enough for the man, I see little, if any, happiness ahead for her with him.

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DEAR ABBY: I am responding to the letter from "Tax Tips From a Professional," who offered some helpful income tax filing suggestions. The tax preparer made some excellent points.

However, point No. 7 was incorrect. The Internal Revenue Service no longer issues "temporary" Individual Tax Identification Numbers (ITIN). The process for securing a permanent ITIN is as follows: Complete application form W-7 and take the completed form to the local Internal Revenue Service office along with two forms of identification. The local IRS office will forward your application to the Philadelphia Service Center for processing. They generally issue the ITIN within four to six weeks.

Abby, please inform your readers as soon as possible to avoid the rush at the IRS offices from people attempting to take advantage of this erroneous data. Thank you. -- ANNE HAMILTON DAYE, TAX RESOLUTION REPRESENTATIVE, IRS, DURHAM, N.C.

DEAR ANNE: Thank you for correcting the erroneous information in "Tax Tips From a Professional's" letter. I am grateful -- and I'm sure my readers will be, too.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my last semester of graduate school. I am also in the midst of planning a June wedding. I already have contracts with the caterer, florist, photographer, etc., but my mother still complains about "loose ends." We have agreed on almost everything -- except for one thing: the wedding night.

My mother says that after the wedding reception, the bride and groom "traditionally" go back to the mother-of-the-bride's house to say thank you. After that, we can be free to go to our hotel room.

Abby, my wedding reception will end around 10 p.m. My mother's house is 30 minutes in the opposite direction. The flight to our honeymoon destination leaves at 9 o'clock the following morning. If we go from the reception to my mother's house, we won't get to the hotel until after midnight. My fiance thinks this is another way Mother is trying to control me.

Have you ever heard of my mother's "tradition"? -- WHAT'S UP WITH MOM?

DEAR WHAT'S UP: No, I haven't. I think your fiance is on to something. Take your mother aside at the reception and thank her profusely for all she has done. Then put on your running shoes and head for the hotel.

DEAR ABBY: Our neighbors have built a chicken coop along the fence that separates our back yards. They have eight chickens and roosters running around inside. It is a split-rail fence so all the "critters," feed bags and other equipment can be seen through the chicken wire.

These neighbors are also friends. The wife baby-sits for us and we have daily contact. We feel they should have asked us if the chickens bothered us; however, it is all on their property.

Abby, we don't know whether to put up a solid fence along that section, plant some bushes, or just forget about it. What would you do? -- TOO CHICKEN TO SPEAK UP

DEAR TOO CHICKEN: Your neighbors sound like a flock of good people. Be a good egg and plant some attractive, fast-growing shrubbery along that section of the property line. Unless there is a code that restricts raising chickens, they haven't committed a "fowl."

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: "Watching My Assets" put a dent in the door of his friend's pickup when he closed it by pushing it with his rear end. Please pass on this information: In newer cars, one can take off the door panel and pop the bent body back out. Only minor paint damage will remain to be repaired. Most repair persons won't tell you this because repairs are their bread and butter.

Another "fix-it" for such a problem is to put dry ice on the spot. Due to contraction, the dent will pop out. It doesn't work on all materials, but on many. This is an old science trick -- hope it helps. -- SCIENCE TEACHER AND BACKYARD MECHANIC

DEAR S.T. AND B.M.: Yours is not the only letter that arrived from helpful readers wanting to resolve "Asset's" problem. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Watching My Assets" reminded me of a similar incident that happened to me many years ago. My friend "Carmen" "rear-ended" my passenger door while trying to close the already locked door and she, too, left a large dent.

Without a moment's hesitation she asked if I had a toilet plunger (we had just pulled up to my home). Plunger in place, out popped the dent! Good as new, no insurance claim necessary. -- GENIE SAFFREN, LOS ANGELES

DEAR GENIE: The longer I write this column, the more I learn from readers. Your letter is a hoot. I wonder if that solution would work today on cars that are made largely from plastic instead of metal. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Watching My Assets," who had a question about whether or not a claim should be filed under his friend's insurance policy, prompts my own.

Your answer was wrong for a few reasons. Yes, his friend should file a claim. This was an accident. Granted, it was not your run-of-the-mill accident, but it was an accident. If the guilty party wants to help his friend, he should volunteer to pay the deductible.

Second, the only time an accident counts against you is if you are the majority at fault -- in California, 51 percent or more at fault -- for the accident. In this case, the person filing the claim would not have his rates go up or have his policy canceled.

Please advise your readers that if they are in an accident and have ANY questions, to refer the question to their insurance agent. After all, they are paying a premium for insurance, and if they get into an accident, the person who sold them the policy is obligated to help them out. -- ADJUSTING CLAIMS FOR AAA IN FRESNO, CALIF.

DEAR CLAIMS ADJUSTER: Thank you for pointing that out. I'm grateful for the reminder. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You were correct in advising "Watching" that although it was unintentional, he did, indeed, damage his friend's door by denting it with his posterior. Therefore, he is the one who should be responsible for the repair.

He should be able to put in a claim under his homeowner's or renter's liability coverage, since it covers damage to other people's property, as well as injury to others.

Hope this information is helpful, Abby. -- BEA IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR BEA: You bet it is. Thank you for the golden nugget of information.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)