DEAR ABBY: I have been preparing tax returns for 15 years. In all this time, I have seen many people from all walks of life. My pet peeve is people who bring their children with them when they have us prepare their taxes. I have had children unplug my computer, spill drinks on my desk, run around as if my office is a play school -- and their parents do nothing to discipline them. I find it impossible to concentrate when a child is screaming or crawling under my desk.

People have 3 1/2 months to get their taxes done. During that time, I know they could find a baby sitter for a few hours. It would make my job so much easier.

My job is stressful. I will do no less than 500 tax returns between now and April 15. Often people must wait for hours in our office just to be seen. In that environment, children become very restless. We are more likely to make a mistake if we have to baby-sit children while figuring taxes.

So, Abby, PLEASE inform your readers to leave their kids at home. If necessary, exchange baby-sitting services with a neighbor, relative or friend while you get your taxes done. It could result in a larger refund, less time spent, and everyone being a lot happier. -- TAXED TAX PREPARER

DEAR TAXED: Your comments make a lot of sense, and I'm sure you're not the only tax preparer who faces this problem. Business offices are not set up to accommodate young children, regardless of how well behaved they may be. Active children cannot be expected to sit silently for long periods of time as adults can. Not only is it unfair to the little ones, it can also be a nightmare for adults who are trying to work.

If parents heed your advice, everyone will benefit.

DEAR ABBY: I am 26-year-old woman and my best friend is 42. Her husband is insanely jealous when we do anything together. He's even jealous of me because I can make her laugh! He picks fights with her when we decide to do something -- he throws things, squeals his tires in the driveway, calls us lovers (which we are not), anything to get attention.

I am always on my best behavior when I'm at their house so as not to cause any trouble. This situation is not only frustrating, but it's making it difficult to remain friends. This has gone on for four years, and I don't know how much more I can tolerate. Abby, could you please point me in the right direction? -- AT MY WIT'S END, ALMA, MICH.

P.S. I don't think he's going to get therapy for this anytime soon.

DEAR WIT'S END: Your friend's husband is counting on the idea that his outrageous behavior will drive you away. If you haven't already done so, talk with your friend about how childish and controlling his behavior is. His attempt to isolate her friends is a form of abuse. Since it has reached the point of exceeding your level of tolerance, schedule your visits away from her home.

P.S. It's sad this man won't consider therapy. He needs it. Your friend could benefit from counseling, too, in order to understand why she tolerates his behavior.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I would like to respond to the letter about the ladies in the quilting club who disapproved of the man who won their quilt in a raffle. They referred to him as "scum."

We live in a small community, and I know this man. These women have judged him solely by his appearance. I admit he could clean up a bit and present himself better, but I try to look past it to the real person.

Abby, that man is a decent human being. He has a kind heart and good intentions. He may not have a lot of money, but he has always treated me with respect and kindness and tries to do what is right.

As for your advice to the complaining ladies, I would take it a step further. HE is the one with love and compassion, and it should rub off on THEM. They should know not to judge a book by its cover.

By the way, the man was thrilled to have won the quilt. He showed it around town to everyone who would look at it. -- FRIEND AND NEIGHBOR

DEAR FRIEND: When people write to an advice columnist, they often tell only half the story. Thank you for filling in the blanks on this one. I'm pleased the gentlemen received his quilt. I hope he enjoys it and never saw the first letter about it in this column.

Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I'm 76, and this is my first letter to an advice columnist. (I started reading advice columns years ago when Dorothy Dix wrote one.)

When I read the letter from the quilters, it reminded me of a raffle that took place about 50 years ago, held by an American Legion Post. I was still living in my native state of North Carolina at the time. The $1 tickets were for a dance at the post and a chance to win a new Cadillac. (You did not have to be present to win.)

One ticket was bought by a black man. He knew he would not be allowed to go to the dance; however, he figured that his dollar was going to a good cause. Well, you guessed it! The black man's ticket was the winner.

After the raffle, when the officials realized who had won, they decided a black man could not win such a prize. His dollar was returned to him, another ticket was drawn, and the Cadillac was awarded to the second "winner."

Well, even 50 years ago, so many white people protested that miscarriage of fairness, the Legion Post bought another Cadillac and gave it to the black man. -- NOAH J. GREEN, SAVANNAH, GA.

DEAR NOAH: Hallelujah! For those times and that locale, it must have seemed revolutionary that fairness prevailed.

DEAR ABBY: I have a 1-year-old daughter. On numerous occasions, strangers have approached me and asked if they could hold her. It is uncomfortable and awkward for me, and being at a loss for words, I usually allow their request.

I have talked to other parents about this, and they share the same uneasiness with these forward strangers.

Please tell me how to handle this. -- NEW MOTHER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NEW MOTHER: When a stranger asks to hold your daughter, simply tell the person no, you would prefer he or she didn't.

DEAR ABBY: I have had many personal problems over the years. Earlier this year, after years of hard work, I finally received my college degree.

I am hurt that the few people in my life didn't even take the time to send me a congratulatory card. What do you think of this, please? -- ROBIN IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR ROBIN: If you sent graduation announcements to the people in your life, and they didn't respond, I don't blame you for being hurt. Throw yourself a graduation party, invite your family and friends, and celebrate your achievement. You've earned it. Congratulations.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: After my divorce 12 years ago, my ex-husband left the state and had no contact with our son, "Lance," or me. We didn't even know where he had gone. Lance was 5 at the time and is now 17.

When Lance was 6, I married a great guy who is wonderful to both of us.

Several years ago, my ex got in touch with my sister and sent her a letter and a picture of him and his new family to give to our son. When my sister gave it to Lance, he told her he wanted nothing to do with his "old dad" (his words) and told her to let things be the way they have been.

My sister continues to harass Lance to write or call his father, and has out-and-out screamed at my son for choosing his stepfather over his birth father. She has even tried to set up secret meetings, but Lance knows better than to trust her and wants nothing to do with her. Time and again he has said he wants nothing to do with his biological father. I feel my son is old enough to make his own decisions.

Because of this, we attend no family events and have cut ourselves out of everyone's life. And we have never said anything to anyone about what my sister is doing.

Lance turns 18 this year and already has plans in motion to legally change his name to his stepfather's and to be adopted by him. He uses his stepfather's name now, except for legal documents. (Another thing that annoys my sister.)

How can we continue to deal with my sister until he turns 18, and what should we say if someone brings up the fact that we never come around? -- TRULY A FAMILY IN MINNESOTA

DEAR TRULY: There is nothing you can do to stop your sister from meddling. She is convinced she knows what is best for her nephew and obviously has a long alliance with your ex-husband. Your son has done an admirable job of handling her on his own.

I'm mystified that you would protect your sister by telling no one about her trouble-making and cut yourself off from the rest of the family. It was a mistake you should correct. If someone brings up the fact that you have been absent, speak up and explain why. If you do, I'm sure you'll find you have allies.

DEAR ABBY: I recently saw the letter in your column from Jack Anspach, who dreamed that the next president would have six letters in his first name and four letters in his last name. He bemoaned the fact that he had failed to place a bet.

Apparently, it escaped his attention -- and yours -- that the names of BOTH major-party candidates have six and four letters. I would have expected you or one of your staff to have caught such an obvious error before going to print.

By now, he's probably got your column matted and framed and proudly on display in his office. Imagine his surprise when he finally discovers that Al is short for Albert. -- JODY IN MEMPHIS

DEAR JODY: Jack got it! I got it! And I'm pleased that so many of my readers also got the JOKE. A little amusement in serious times can be a ray of sunshine on a dreary day, and I think we all needed a dose of humor around that time.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in a two-booklet set. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $7.90 per set ($9 per set in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)