DEAR ABBY: While my husband was in a chat room on the Internet, I caught him asking for pictures of little girls being sexually molested. He had already downloaded several on our computer. In one of those pictures was a little girl 18 to 24 months old -- and the most awful thing was being done to her. The rest of them were no better. I cried all evening after seeing those pictures, Abby.

I have five small grandchildren and one on the way. Now I know I can no longer trust my husband around them. I have begged him to get help, but he says he doesn't have a problem, so I am seriously thinking about reporting him. Abby, he even sent out a picture of his own daughter.

Do you think he could possibly be a child molester, too? All the signs are there, and I just can't stand the thought of him touching me if he has hurt a child like that. Please help me. I am so afraid. We have been married 12 years. How could I not have seen this before? -- TERRIFIED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR TERRIFIED: Please don't blame yourself for not having "seen this before." Child molesters are very clever about hiding their preferences, because they have to be. Your husband is sick -- a predator -- and if he would post pictures of his own child on the Internet, he wouldn't hesitate to do the same with a grandchild.

Since he refuses to admit he has a problem, you will have to force him into getting help. Tell the police in your community exactly what you have told me. Please don't wait another day to do it.

DEAR ABBY: Your answer to "Sick of Disrespect in Dallas" didn't go far enough. The proper way to handle verbal abuse or unacceptable behavior on an airplane is to immediately complain directly to the flight attendant before the situation escalates. If he or she fails to put the perpetrator in place, inform the attendant that you will file a complaint with the airline citing failure to handle a threatening situation.

No one should have to tolerate or witness profanity, drunken behavior, or any other form of abuse in the air, on land or at sea.

However, I agree that one should never directly confront someone who is out of control. -- LOOKING FOR FRIENDLIER SKIES

DEAR LOOKING: I'm pleased that you do. Although each airline has its own regulations for handling disruptive passengers, it is my understanding that most of them follow a similar scenario. If the flight attendant cannot "calm down" or stop inappropriate behavior, he or she will have the pilot come back and talk to the passenger. The pilot then informs the passenger that if he or she doesn't stop being disruptive, it will be necessary to land the plane at the nearest airport and the police will come on board and arrest the passenger.

DEAR ABBY: Would you please explain how women in high heels can walk with such elegance and grace, as though they are gliding when they walk? -- NOT VERY GRACEFUL IN PROVO, UTAH

DEAR NOT VERY GRACEFUL: It's not easy. Stand up straight, balance a book on your head, and practice, practice, practice.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: Most of the letters that appear in my column are filled with problems. This one will be different.

I hope you will indulge me this once as I brag about my daughter, Jeanne Phillips. She has worked by my side practically since the inception of this column. As a teen-ager, she earned her allowance by answering mail from other teens (under strict supervision, of course!).

During the majority of the years that followed, my daughter has worked by my side in one capacity or another. Over the course of the 12 years my nationally syndicated radio show aired on the CBS network, Jeanne co-wrote more than half of them.

After that she became my editor and, since 1987, has co-created the DEAR ABBY column with me.

With her talent, compassion and kind heart -– and the common sense I like to say she inherited from her father and me -– Jeanne has walked not in my footsteps, but side-by-side with me. I couldn't be more proud.

As a mother who has every confidence in her daughter, I feel it's time she receives the recognition she deserves as my co-creator.

And no, I'm not going anywhere. I will continue to work on this column until my Maker calls me home. People retire from work -– and work is the one thing I have never considered this column to be.

DEAR ABBY: You have probably heard everything, but here goes. My sister-in-law died last summer. She had been very ill for a year. My brother-in-law, "Tom," took excellent care of her, but not too long before her death, she had to be put in a nursing home. While visiting his wife there, Tom struck up a friendship with a woman I'll call "Dolly." Tom is in his 70s. Dolly is in her 80s. Dolly's husband died about the same time as my sister-in-law.

Get this: While Tom and his family were receiving friends at the funeral home, Dolly showed up and announced to one and all that she was Tom's girlfriend.

To make matters worse, at the funeral, she also told everyone at church she was Tom's girlfriend. She even sat with us in the family pews, right behind Tom.

How could anyone be so brazen as to not even wait until the spouse is buried to announce their affair?

One week later, Tom bought her an engagement ring. Two weeks after that, they eloped.

Do you think we should exclude them from our annual holiday dinner? Several family members have said they will not attend if she's there. Our family has always been very close, but this has torn us apart. How should I handle this? -- ONE FOR THE BOOKS

DEAR ONE FOR THE BOOKS: Because your family is still grieving -- and upset over Tom's swift remarriage -- consider scaling down your organized holiday events this year. You all need more time to heal.

Tom and Dolly obviously bonded while visiting their dying spouses. Please try not to judge them too harshly. They may have been lonely and vulnerable watching their spouses slip away day after day.

I agree that Dolly's timing was off. However, Tom and Dolly witnessed death firsthand. Because of their ages, they've chosen to live the rest of their lives to the fullest. Try to be happy for them and wish them well. After all, they're family.

DEAR ABBY: I have very eclectic tastes and have always prided myself on having things that are unique to me. However, I have one friend who constantly robs me of my individuality.

I have two cats -- and she acquired two cats. I got a hamster for my boyfriend -- and she got two hamsters for her husband and put them in a more elaborate cage. I bought a water dragon -- she got two and put them in a fancier tank. I bought a dragon print for my living room -- she bought three dragon prints. I am an avid gardener and mentioned that someday I would like to have a water garden. Well, guess what -- she now has a water garden. She constantly tries to outdo me. It goes on and on.

It infuriates me when our friends comment and praise her for HER style and taste. We are both in our 30s, but suddenly I feel I'm back in high school.

I don't want to be petty, but I feel like my identity is being stolen. What can I do to stop it? -- COPIED IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR COPIED: Tell your friend you're turning your living room into a shrine for Elvis -- then let her.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)