DEAR ABBY: I was married three months ago and still do not live with my husband. We have been remodeling the farmhouse that he has lived in for the last three years. Before I came along, he lived in filth and clutter.
Abby, I'm beginning to lose patience. He promised the house would be habitable before we married. The only work that gets done to the house is what my mother and I do. I cannot live in a house under construction because I become claustrophobic and agitated in that kind of clutter. This is starting to have a negative effect on our marriage. Please help. -- LIVING SINGLE IN DES MOINES
DEAR LIVING SINGLE: If your fiance promised the house would be completed before your wedding, and then failed to fulfill that promise, that should have rung an alarm bell regarding his level of enthusiasm about marriage. Since after three months he is still not motivated enough to keep his promise so that you may live together as husband and wife, it's time to re-evaluate the entire situation.
Is this the way you want to live the rest of your life? Marriage should be a partnership, but you and your mother are doing all of the work. This man is unlikely to change. Consider consulting an attorney about an annulment before investing any more time or elbow grease. You deserve better.