DEAR ABBY: I recently received a Social Security statement of earnings, going back to the beginning of my work history in 1958. When I read it, I realized that one employer never reported my earnings during the four years I worked for him at two different companies. He told me it made no difference because Social Security uses only the last eight quarters to determine what would be available when I retire. Wrong!

I contacted Social Security and told them there was a mistake in my statement. (Luckily I had not thrown out any of my 1040s or W-2s.) They advised me how to correct the statement of earnings, and within two weeks I received a correction.

My advice to everyone who is employed: Save all your 1040s and W-2s, and check the statement you receive from Social Security to be certain all your income was reported. -- ANNETTE M. ZELKO, WEST CLARKSVILLE, N.Y.

DEAR ANNETTE: This year the Social Security Administration (SSA) has begun sending annual statements to workers age 25 and over who are not currently receiving benefits. These statements include the worker's Social Security-covered earnings history and estimates of future benefits.

Although there was a time when only certain work quarters were considered in determining benefits, the rules have changed, so it is important to be certain your statements are a true reflection of your earnings and the taxes withheld for Social Security. It's easier to correct errors when they are fresh and you have the forms to prove your earnings. For more information, call (800) 772-1213 or visit www.ssa.gov.

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Pamela in Slidell, La.," who was upset about parents in her neighborhood allowing toddlers to play in the street, prompts me to write about my mother's experience with a young, supervised child -- me. When I was 4, we were going to the barber shop for my haircut. I was riding my tricycle; my mother was pushing my baby brother in a pram. We were on the sidewalk and came to a short driveway, when I thoughtlessly pedaled down it and straight into the path of a pickup truck. The elderly man who was driving couldn't stop in time. He hit me and both my legs were broken! The driver was devastated. I'm told he came to the hospital every day to see me. He told my parents he would never drive again.

The point being: Even SUPERVISED children can get hurt. A neighborhood street is never a place for small children to play. Too many things can go wrong. What happened to me occurred 54 years ago, when there were fewer vehicles on the roads, and even fewer teen-agers with their own cars racing up and down the streets. Those parents in Pamela's neighborhood would be sick and angry if one of those children were hurt -- even if it wasn't their fault.

I hope this letter isn't too long. I just had to comment. -- DOUGLAS M. PHILLIPS, FORT MYERS, FLA.

DEAR DOUGLAS: Too long? It's just the right length if it causes just one preoccupied parent to take a moment to see what his or her unsupervised child is doing.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm planning my wedding for the spring of next year. My fiance has lined up his groomsmen. I still have two more bridesmaids to ask. Unfortunately, there is a problem.

My fiance's brother (who is one of his groomsmen) hit his wife in the face with his fist, breaking blood vessels and leaving terrible bruises around her eyes. I do not approve of this violent behavior and told my fiance that I do not want his brother in our wedding.

My fiance is leaving it up to me to tell him because we're not supposed to know about this horrible "family secret." What should I do, Abby? Make up something -- or let him be in the wedding anyway? I don't want to start our marriage off with tension between me and my new in-laws. -- WANTS EVERYTHING PEACHY IN GEORGIA

DEAR WANTS EVERYTHING PEACHY: This is more advice than you asked for, but before you make any more wedding plans, you'd be wise to find out much more about this "family secret." How long has there been a history of violence in the family? Did your fiance grow up in a home where it was normal? Was he beaten as a child? If the answer to those questions is yes, you and he have serious issues to work out before you marry.

If it turns out that wife-beating is a trait unique to your brother-in-law, your fiance should insist he seek professional counseling and attend anger management classes before the wedding. The responsibility for dealing with this troubled man belongs to your fiance. It should not be delegated to you.

DEAR ABBY: Having read the column of reader reaction to the 52-year-old woman who wondered if she should marry the older man, I would like to comment. I speak from experience. I, too, am 52, and have been married to a 70-year-old man for 2 1/2 years. What happiness! He is not old ... he is "old enough":

Old enough to appreciate and accommodate our differences, as well as our shared views and habits.

Old enough to be truly patient with my faults.,

Old enough to lovingly accept my aging body.

Old enough to manage our finances wisely.

Old enough to encourage me to maintain contact with longtime friends.

Old enough to never feel threatened by the independence he gives me.

And caring enough to unselfishly prepare my meals almost daily because I must still work. (Oh, how I look forward to going home for lunch each day, and how precious to return to him after work each evening!)

Abby, marrying him was the best decision I ever made. -- B.M.P. IN OLATHE, KAN.

DEAR B.M.P.: What a beautiful tribute to your husband. I couldn't resist setting it up as the love poem that it is. May you enjoy many happy, healthy years together.

DEAR ABBY: During my grandson's third birthday party last weekend, he became agitated and cranky. Some of the adult guests called him "monster," "brat" and "Satan."

I have heard him called these names before under similar circumstances, but this time I lost it! I'm afraid I made a scene -- partly because I feel that name-calling is verbal abuse, and it can have long-lasting effects on someone so young.

Abby, was I wrong? I should add that 99 percent of the time, my grandson is extremely well-behaved and a happy, polite and well-adjusted child. -- WISCONSIN GRANDMA

DEAR WISCONSIN GRANDMA: You were not wrong to defend your grandson. However, you were wrong to have allowed yourself to have "lost it." There is now no doubt who the little boy takes after.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: After Thanksgiving in 1972, my mother, Helen Buckles, sent a letter to all her children. She was unhappy about the way we had behaved. I thought your readers might want to "review it" before this Thanksgiving! -- BOB BUCKLES, DOWNEY, CALIF.

DEAR BOB: Thanksgiving? They might want to review it before dinner tonight! Your dear mother did you "kids" a big favor. Read on:

"It was brought to my attention Thanksgiving Day that I had failed to teach you, my children, certain rules of table manners. Lest you go through life in such a state, I will now try to rectify my gross error by setting down for you a few simple rules:

"Remember, table manners, as all other kinds of manners, have as their basis consideration for others.

"1. Come to the table promptly when the hostess calls you. Food tastes better when it is hot.

"2. Sit at the table with the four legs of the chair flat on the floor. Sit straight, with your feet in front of you.

"3. Sit quietly with your hands in your lap until after the blessing or until the hostess starts passing the food.

"4. Wait for the food to be passed to you.

"5. As soon as the food is passed to you, take some and pass it on. Never leave a serving dish beside your plate. Wait until all of the food has been offered before you begin to eat.

"6. Never butter your bread directly from the butter dish. Put butter on your butter plate, break the bread apart, and spread.

"7. Do not talk with your mouth full.

"8. Do not make biological noises or blow your nose at the table.

"9. Keep your elbows off the table and one hand in your lap.

"10. Never wave silverware around while you're eating.

"11. Do not use your finger to push food onto your utensil.

"12. Do not lick your fingers or wipe your hands on the tablecloth.

"13. Don't stuff your mouth with food. Make use of your napkin so you don't offend others with half-chewed food oozing out the corners of your mouth and down your chin.

"14. Keep the conversation pleasant.

"15. Allow your hostess plenty of time to finish her meal before serving dessert.

"16. After the main meal is over, help clear the table before dessert is served. Leave the water glasses, cups and saucers.

"17. Never pick up a dessert dish and hold it in your hand while you eat.

"18. Never eat and run. Remain at the table until the hostess suggests you go elsewhere. Children may ask to be excused.

"19. Offer to help with the dishes. In a very formal atmosphere this would not be true, but in most cases it's acceptable. Don't insist on helping if the hostess doesn't want help.

"20. Always thank the hostess for the invitation. If you can honestly do so, compliment her on the cooking.

"Love, Mother."

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)