DEAR ABBY: Ten years ago, my husband decided that we would purchase a motor home and travel.

Biggest mistake I ever made. He refuses to look at a map. I am supposed to give the exact directions to all places, and if I get us lost, he goes totally berserk. We spend our nights in dirty truck stops; we do not "see the sights" because he passes everything by. I am supposed to do all the cooking, cleaning, etc. And to top it off, I get to do the laundry in the seediest Laundromats -- with no help from him.

We spend two or three months a year cooped up in this tiny space while he watches TV (his channels). I have no place to carry a few hobby-type things to keep me from getting bored. Most of the time he's in a rotten mood, and I can't get away.

Ladies, please think twice before your better half talks you into an RV. I would love to stay home, but he's so unreasonable, he won't hear of it. I try to tell him my feelings, but he doesn't want to hear them. How do I handle this situation? I simply hate this lifestyle. It is not fun. It is claustrophobic and inconvenient. -- RV PRISONER IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR PRISONER: It's time to parole yourself. You have tolerated this situation far longer than most women would have. RVing is not for everyone. Turn up the volume and inform your jailer that you've served your time. Either he immediately begins pulling his fair share of the "housekeeping" chores and sharing the remote control, or you're on the next plane home. Then do it.

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Fuming in Ridgefield, N.J.," who was upset because she didn't receive a thank-you letter from her friend's daughter after sending a wedding gift.

A few months following my wedding, a friend of mine was married and I sent a gift. During the time that her thank-you notes would have been written, I moved to another address. Although I had my mail forwarded, I know of several pieces I did not receive. Because I didn't receive a thank-you note from my friend, I assumed it was lost in the mail, and I have never mentioned it to her. While I agree that it is unacceptable not to send a thank-you for a gift, I thought this might shed some light on why some people may not receive one. -- THANKFUL IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR THANKFUL: If an acknowledgment of a gift is not forthcoming, the giver should diplomatically ask if the gift was received. Let me share a story with you:

One day I was talking with the late David Orgell, a brilliant retailer in Beverly Hills, whose store was patronized by celebrities and other wealthy folk. What he told me was an eye-opener. He said that finding delivery people he could trust was an ongoing problem, because packages were sometimes stolen by store couriers. He said florists and other retailers experience the same frustrating problem. He was emphatic that if acknowledgment of a gift is not received, the sender should follow up by asking if the package ever arrived. He also suggested that when instructing a store to deliver a gift, proof of delivery should be requested -- meaning that someone must sign for it.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a major dilemma. I began dating "Edward" six months ago. Edward's grandmother and I took a special interest in each other and soon became great friends. Three months later, she fell ill and passed on. God rest her soul.

Now the problem: She left her entire estate to me! This includes property, two cars, her home and a handsome sum of money. The family was shocked to learn of this, and so was I. Now I'm afraid Edward's family resents me.

Should I hand everything over to her only remaining son, Edward's father, or keep it? I am not sure if I should honor her wishes or make the family happy. I really love Edward and hope to have a serious future with him. I don't want any ill will with his family. Please help. -- UNEXPECTED HEIRESS

DEAR HEIRESS: Before you make any hasty decisions, speak with the attorney who helped Edward's grandmother make her will. It might give you some insight into her motivation for naming you and excluding the family. It is possible she felt she had already provided enough financially over the years for her only remaining son and his family. Even if you now feel like the object of resentment, there is no guarantee that handing over your inheritance will make those feelings go away.

It goes without saying that this is a decision that only you can make. So think carefully about the implications and take plenty of time. Continue to work on your relationship with Edward -- and "que sera sera."

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion, based on my experience, for "Colorado Lady in Waiting," who is in love with "Bob" after dating him for seven months. He wanted her to be his girlfriend, but didn't want her to go with him when he moved out of state, saying he "wasn't sure he wanted to commit."

Twenty years ago, I maintained a four-year long-distance relationship with a boyfriend. Everything seemed fine. Then suddenly he advised me that he had met someone else. I was devastated and unable to form a lasting relationship for years, as I trusted no one.

Absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder; absence makes the heart forget.

My boyfriend left me for a woman he felt would make him a better financial partner. The joke was on him. I made my first million when I was 40. I found him recently via the Internet and discovered that his marriage is an unhappy one, and he regretted the decision he made so many years ago. Today I am ... SADDER, OLDER AND WISER

DEAR SADDER, OLDER AND WISER: Sadder? Please reconsider and settle for older and wiser. Be grateful that this man showed his true colors and made another woman miserable for 20 years. There but for the grace of God go you!

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a sweet guy for a while. We really like each other and have a lot of fun together. The problem is, he's shorter than me. All I think about is the difference in our height. Please advise me what to do. -- NOT SEEING EYE-TO-EYE

DEAR NOT: With pleasure. Recognize your priorities. If he has an ear you can confide in, a mind that's open and a heart that's generous, he has all the equipment you need for a beautiful relationship. The measure of a man should be from eyebrows up. To disqualify someone because of a height requirement would be shortsighted and the "height" of stupidity.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I know you reach millions of readers, so please print this letter. It could save someone's life.

If a friend or a relative has been shuttled into a nursing home, I beg you to please visit him or her at least 20 minutes a month. Just drop by to say, "Hello." Let the person know you care.

Many older folks -- "our finest generation" -- have been cast aside like old shoes to live out a dead-end existence in nursing homes. They are lonely -- suffering physically, mentally and emotionally -- because they have been discarded and forgotten.

Some nursing homes do not have enough trained staff or the facilities to properly care for their patients. Because many "dear ones" have no one to visit and monitor their care, the homes have become negligent, and they're getting away with it.

You can make a difference. You must make a difference! -- SOS (SAVE OUR SENIORS)

DEAR SOS: Sadly, I suspect much of what you say is true. However, it would be unfair to label all skilled nursing facilities as "negligent." Although some are understaffed, many of them employ caring staff and provide social programs for their residents.

That said, nothing takes the place of a visit from an old friend or loving relative.

DEAR ABBY: I am attending two upcoming weddings where money has been requested as a gift. One couple are close family members on my husband's side. We have not known the other couple that long, but they are members of our church. I am unsure about how much money is appropriate to give each couple. I feel as though we should give more to my husband's brother than to a couple to whom we are not related. How much is enough? -- STUCK IN SAN JOSE, CALIF.

DEAR STUCK: Your question is one that I am frequently asked, and the answer is there is no "fixed" amount. It depends upon your level of disposable income. However, I agree with you that it is appropriate to give your in-law a more generous gift than you would to casual friends you have only recently met.

DEAR ABBY: So much has been said about road rage that I would like to share a heartwarming experience I recently had on the Santa Monica Freeway in Los Angeles.

I was in the middle lane, the traffic was heavy -- and my car died. My heart pounded. I feared the worst. But no one yelled at me. No one made an obscene gesture. No one shot at me. Instead, folks patiently pulled around my car and signaled others to do likewise (even my flashers were out!).

Soon, a young Hispanic couple got out of their car and pushed me to the side of the road. They refused to accept any money. I no sooner thanked them than a pleasant motorcycle officer arrived and summoned a tow truck.

Within the hour, my car was in the mechanic's shop and I was home enjoying a cool lemonade.

From start to finish, everyone was kind to me -- even the mechanic charged me less than the going rate. I feel blessed to have been surrounded by so many generous, caring people. -- HAPPY MOTORIST IN SOUTH PASADENA, CALIF.

DEAR HAPPY MOTORIST: The majority of people in this world are kind and caring. I'm pleased that you found a high percentage of them in one place.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)