DEAR ABBY: You have printed some "You know you are getting older when" letters recently. I recall that you had a piece or two in your column on the same topic some years ago, and that they were very amusing. How about printing them again? -- JOSEPHINE MULLIGAN FROM MONTANA
DEAR JOSEPHINE: What a memory! Yes, that topic appeared in the column 10 years ago. Read on:
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLDER WHEN ...
-- You know all the answers but nobody asks you any questions.
-- You get winded playing checkers.
-- You need a fire permit to light all of your birthday candles and you need oxygen after blowing them out.
-- You order Geritol on the rocks.
-- You sink your teeth into a thick steak and they stay there.
-- You stop to think and sometimes forget to start again.
-- You don't need an alarm clock to get up with the chickens.
-- Your pacemaker opens the garage door whenever a cute gal goes by.
-- The only whistles you get are from a tea kettle.
-- A fortune-teller wants to read your face.
-- You finally get it all together, but can't remember where you put it.
-- You pray for a good prune-juice harvest.
Fortunately, today's seniors are more fit and youthful than ever before, so these may no longer be true. Read on:
-- Everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
-- You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
-- Your little black book contains only names ending with M.D.
-- You look forward to a dull evening.
-- You join a health club and never go.
-- You need your glasses to find your glasses.
-- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. -- Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
-- You have too much room in the house, and not enough in the medicine chest.
-- YOU WONDER WHY MORE PEOPLE DON'T USE THIS SIZE PRINT.
DEAR ABBY: I get a kick out of the items you occasionally print about how you can tell when you're getting old. I think this is a good one: You know you're getting old when you bend down to pick something off the floor, and before you straighten up you ask yourself, "Is there anything else I can do while I'm down here?" -- LESS LIMBER IN FALLBROOK, CALIF.
DEAR LESS LIMBER: Thanks for the chuckle. People over 40 will identify with it -- once they straighten up.