DEAR ABBY: We recently moved back to Texas to be closer to my parents, allowing me to spend some wonderful time with my 88-year-old grandfather. My letter is for all people who wear hearing aids. He has just returned with his digital hearing aid, and it is like he is alive again!

He tried many different kinds, and actually had a shoebox he threw them into when they didn't work. So far, this one has done the trick. He hears everything without having to adjust the volume. It doesn't pick up the background noise that he has always complained about.

He went running into the kitchen because he thought he heard the washing machine making a funny noise. It was actually the refrigerator motor. He said he hasn't heard that humming noise in years! He also told me he hears traffic noises he hasn't heard in quite some time. (A good thing!)

Please tell your readers not to throw away their old hearing aids because there are organizations that will take them. Doctors use them for children in poor countries. And please, Abby, urge anyone who has difficulty hearing not to be embarrassed to have their hearing checked. It could be the beginning of a whole new life. -- SUSAN IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR SUSAN: Hear, hear! An estimated 20 million Americans suffer from some kind of hearing loss. I was once told about a sign hanging in an audiologist's office: "Your hearing loss is far more obvious to everyone else than your hearing aid will be."

Anyone with a hearing aid to donate should contact HEAR NOW, a national nonprofit organization that provides hearing aids to people with limited financial means. The hearing aids should be mailed in a small box or padded envelope to: HEAR NOW, 4248 Park Glen Road, Minneapolis, MN 55416. The contribution is tax deductible, so please include a self-addressed, stamped envelope for your receipt for tax purposes.

DEAR ABBY: What makes you think that the wife who is "visiting" her friends at 2 a.m. might be hanging out with a colony of bats? No self-respecting bat is home at that time. During the night hours, they are hard at work ridding the world of hundreds of billions of bugs or pollinating millions of plants and trees.

Unlike some unhappy humans, bats don't have the luxury of too much time on their hands. A bat mom likes nothing so much as hanging out with her baby and all her other bat mom friends and their babies. There's no time for bat hanky-panky.

Please, Abby. Our friends the bats don't need more bad publicity, or to have their reputation endlessly maligned. Humans must realize that their fear of bats stems from ignorance. Instead of posing a threat, bats are highly beneficial to humans. The reality is that less than one person a year in the United States dies from bat rabies. That's minuscule compared to the number who die from bee stings, bicycle accidents, lightning strikes, drowning while swimming or spousal abuse.

I recommend bat education for all. -- BAT ADVOCATE IN SEATTLE

DEAR BAT ADVOCATE: (Now here's a topic we can sink our teeth into.) I respect your going to bat for your furry flying friends; however, when I questioned whether the wife was hanging out with a colony of bats, I was alluding to the fact that they are nocturnal creatures. I was not implying that they were promiscuous or poor mothers. Personally, I've never met a bat I haven't liked. If you were offended, please forgive me.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 55 and retired. My husband, "Mark," is 60 and an alcoholic. I want him to read this letter in your column.

I've gone through hell putting up with his alcoholism. He falls asleep with a cigarette still burning between his fingers. He uses the stove, forgets about it, and falls asleep. He talks to himself. I believe he has three personalities: the friendly talker; the one who "shuts down" and is angry at the world; and the rude, obnoxious person who emotionally abuses me.

Mark's famous words are, "I have never hit you." Physically, no -- but mentally I am beaten regularly.

We have no social life because he has to drink before we go anywhere -- so I don't accept invitations. When he's not working, he drinks 95 percent of the time. Within the last two years, he's had two DUI citations (driving under the influence), so either I or one of our three children must provide his transportation to and from work.

All three kids say I should leave him. They love their father, but do not enjoy being around him. Mark has one brother, but they don't talk because of Mark's drinking. Besides the children and me, Mark has no one else.

He refuses to go for treatment. He promises to stop drinking, but doesn't. If he isn't in bed, I can't sleep at night because I'm afraid he'll burn the house down.

I want Mark and other alcoholics to know that besides complicating their own lives, they are ruining the lives of all the people around them.

I have concluded that I would be happier and have more peace of mind living alone in a trailer than in my house with an alcoholic. -- SEEKING PEACE IN MISSOURI

DEAR SEEKING PEACE: First, contact Al-Anon. They offer information and emotional support to family and friends of alcoholics. Call 1-800-344-2666 for meeting information, 1-800-356-9996 for introductory literature. Their Web site is www.al-anon.org.

Second, listen to your children. They have your best interests at heart.

Third, speak to an attorney and ask for a trial separation. The attorney will protect your financial interests.

Fourth, ask your husband to leave. You must stay in your home to protect it from fire.

This may appear to be a drastic solution, but it's the only way to get his attention and find peace of mind. Don't feel guilty. You deserve to be happy, respected and safe.

DEAR ABBY: I am 20 years old and in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend, who is 36. My problem is he's experiencing problems having sex with me. He says he loves me too much to be able to have sex. He says he almost thinks of me as a child. He also told me that the best sex he's ever had was with someone he always argued with. Is this normal? -- SEXLESS IN EDMONTON

DEAR SEXLESS: Some people find conflict to be a turn-on. This may be normal for him -- but it isn't for you. I would be concerned about being with a man who thinks of you as "a child" and not as a mature woman. You have the right to a healthy, intimate relationship.

The two of you might benefit from couples counseling. It will give you more insight into this man. It will also give you the opportunity to express what you expect from each other, and what you want for yourselves. I wish you luck.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 15, and have never been very close to my parents. In fact, I haven't lived with them since I was a baby -- they were too young to raise me. They've always been "around," but they feel more like an aunt and uncle than my parents.

They are both going through a rough time. My father is going through a divorce, and my mother just found out that she has cancer. I don't know what to say to them. I love them both. The thing that scares me the most is that it doesn't faze me about the cancer. What is wrong with me? -- DISCONNECTED IN ARKANSAS

DEAR DISCONNECTED: There is nothing "wrong" with you. When someone close is diagnosed with a possible life-threatening illness, denial is a common reaction.

As to what to say to your parents during this difficult time -- no fancy speeches are necessary. No one expects you to solve the problems or make the pain go away. Just tell your parents you love them. That's all they need to hear.

DEAR ABBY: I have some dear friends whose daughter was married last March. The wedding, which I attended, was held in their home state. I also sent a very nice gift.

I have never received a thank-you note from this young woman, and I know of at least one other person who hasn't either. Should I just forget it -- or is it permissible to bring this subject up with her parents, my dear friends? It's possible they do not know how absolutely awful their daughter's manners are. We have been friends for more than 25 years. -- FUMING IN RIDGEFIELD, N.J.

DEAR FUMING: Everyone would be better served if you discussed this with the young woman instead of tattling to her parents. I see nothing to be gained by embarrassing and upsetting them. If they are the kind of people who have been dear friends of yours for 25 years, they certainly are familiar with the social graces. It's a pity they didn't rub off on their daughter.

DEAR ABBY: I am a professional truck driver. The recent letter from "A Fitness Cyclist for 40 Years" inspired me to explain to the public why truck drivers do certain things on the road.

We change from one lane to another to avoid a vehicle that has broken down, a police officer stopped on the side of the road or a cyclist. People do not realize the draft from a large truck could pull a cyclist toward the trailer and under the wheels. Please, drivers, do not try to pass us on the right when we change lanes. Wait until we return to our lane.

Also, when it's raining, please turn your headlights on so we can see you. And please don't race to get ahead of us at an off-ramp.

People may not like trucks on the road, Abby, but remember -- the only thing not delivered by a truck is a baby! -- MIKE MILBURN, PORT CHARLOTTE, FLA.

DEAR MIKE: Thank you for your important tips. Trucks are vital pipelines in our healthy economy. I have received many letters from readers wanting to thank truck drivers for their assistance in road emergencies. Truck drivers are some of the most courteous and safest drivers on our highways. Keep up the good work.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)