DEAR ABBY: I read with interest the letter regarding Ralph George and his veterans' speaking program. I hope vets all over the country are doing this. I have -- on my own -- spoken to classes at both elementary and college levels. I have also spoken to service clubs.

I served in an area referred to as "the forgotten theater." The China-Burma-India theater is not even mentioned in many history books. When there is a program on World War II, it is usually devoted to Europe or the Pacific. The CBI (as we call it) was a hostile, unforgiving area, with high mountains, dense jungle, rampant disease (more men fell to disease than to enemy action), foul weather, and rain for half the year (200 to 300 inches). Furthermore, many of the mountain tribes were headhunters.

Many Americans are not aware that we were fighting in China and Burma almost a year before Pearl Harbor and for six months after Japan surrendered. The U.S. government is not even sure how many Americans served in the CBI -- figures range from 200,000 to 750,000. However, most settle for 250,000 personnel. A friend who served in Europe told me that the CBI was used as a threat: "You foul up one time and you'll find yourself in the CBI!"

It's important for Americans to know we were there. Find a CBI veteran in your area and have him speak to your group. A friend of mine doesn't discuss it because he fears no one would believe him. -- BOB FAGELSON, NATIONAL HISTORIAN, CBI VETERANS ASSOCIATION

DEAR BOB: Since I printed that letter, I have heard from readers from both the United States and Canada, describing similar programs involving veterans groups. While I think that veterans sharing their personal experiences in the classroom is a terrific way to bring a chapter in our history to life, not all readers viewed it in the same way. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The letter from Ralph George about talking to children in classrooms was lacking in a very important point. He gave the impression that war is not so bad. Abby, the job of our armed forces in war is to kill people and destroy property. It's a terrible purpose. The talks should not ignore these realities.

Permit me to quote from a speech Franklin D. Roosevelt gave on Aug. 24, 1936: "I have seen war on land and sea. I have seen blood running from the wounded. I have seen the dead in the mud. I have seen cities destroyed. I have seen children starving. I have seen the agony of mothers and wives. I HATE WAR!" -- STANTON SCHUMAN, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, GLENCOE, ILL.

DEAR STANTON: I agree that war is a tragedy and its realities should not be glossed over, but neither should they be belabored. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The veterans in the classroom program will not work. Most vets cannot tell you about their experiences because that would make them relive them. My brother was a four-time Vietnam vet, and he could not tell anyone what he did. Thank God he is dead and doesn't have to relive that part of his life over and over.

You should never ask vets to talk about major battles they have been in. What they saw was too horrible. I will never reveal some things he told me. They were unspeakable. -- A VETERAN'S SISTER

DEAR SISTER: I respectfully disagree. When a trauma is locked inside, it cannot heal; it grows and festers until sometimes it takes over the person's life. Talking with professionals and others who have experienced the same horror is often therapeutic. Such programs are ongoing at VA medical centers -- as well they should be. Until a person starts talking, he cannot start healing.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I recently took my father to my 11-year-old son's Little League game. While my son's team was at bat, a ball was hit up the first base line. The first baseman made a gallant attempt to catch the ball, but missed and it went into the outfield.

The right fielder stopped the runner at second base, and my father shouted to the first baseman, "You should have made that play!"

Concerned that he would hurt the boy's feelings, I told Dad he shouldn't shout at the boy. My father then became angry with me and said the boy needs to know that he "screwed up" so he would "learn from his mistakes."

My father's loud lecture embarrassed me. I told him after he calmed down that I would be sitting in the bleachers. A few minutes later, I looked for him and saw that he was walking home. I had driven him to the game. We have not spoken since.

I feel it is the coach's responsibility to instruct the players. Parents who attend should be supportive, not negative. Was I wrong to defend the boy and "insult" my father? -- FRUSTRATED LITTLE LEAGUE DAD

DEAR FRUSTRATED: The job of parents and grandparents at children's sporting events is to cheer them on. Your father's remarks were not helpful. They were hurtful to the first baseman's self-esteem. The boy couldn't help but know that he goofed.

Call your father and point out to him that he didn't like being corrected in public -- he got angry and walked home -- so why would he think a young first baseman would appreciate being yelled at by a stranger? Perhaps that will help him view his actions in a different light. If it doesn't, buy him some peanuts and Cracker Jack -- and leave him home.

DEAR ABBY: It's rare nowadays to find nice people willing to help a complete stranger. That's why I want to share this with you:

I live in Cheyenne, Wyo. I was seven months pregnant and was driving alone to Thermopolis, five hours away.

Three hours into my trip, I found myself in a major snowstorm. I couldn't go on and I couldn't turn back, so I left the interstate the first chance I got. The nearest town had only one gas station, one motel and two restaurants. Neither of the restaurants accepted credit cards, and all the rooms at the motel were already booked. I waited with other stranded motorists for the weather to clear. Unfortunately, it just got worse. The highway patrol eventually closed all the roads.

A wonderful couple checked into their room and invited me to share it with them. Then they bought me dinner. They refused to accept anything from me except my profuse thanks.

I never expected to meet people willing to put themselves out for someone they didn't even know. In this age of distrust, it's reassuring to know that there are still wonderful people out there. -- VALERIE GIBSON

DEAR VALERIE: Thank you for sharing your experience. As more and more people have written to me relating random acts of kindness, it is clearly apparent that generosity of spirit is alive and well in our country.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: A 70-year-old man wrote that he has been seeing a recently widowed woman, and they are considering living together. He asked how he should introduce a live-in companion to friends. You gave him a variety of choices, running the gamut from "best friend," "partner" and "sweetheart" to "friend."

Abby, there is NO acceptable term to call someone you are shacked-up with. A person's age does not matter. If they are living together in sin, that is what it is!

We need to stop accepting unacceptable behavior. Your best advice for "Confused" should have been to do the right thing: Marry the lady. -- TIRED OF ALL THIS MISBEHAVING, SANTEE, CALIF.

DEAR TIRED: I disagree. The gentleman did not ask whether or not he should marry the lady. Times have changed. Seniors who live together choose to do so for a variety of reasons, which are usually well thought out. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Tell the 70-year-old Florida widower not to hesitate in calling the widow his wife. Long before governments issued licenses, a marriage was -- and still is -- essentially an oral contract. A license per se does not keep people married. A license is simply a matter of record against any litigation.

If an elderly couple has spelled out all their health and financial involvements for each other, let them be husband and wife. Our courts still rule fairly whether every detail is spelled out or a marriage license is in sight.

Certainly the license concept is good, as it prohibits underage unions and marriage falsifications. But for the government to use it as a gun to rob the elderly of pension or handicap benefits is a disservice.

Why California needs to charge a $60-plus marriage license fee (tax) is another issue. It's an impediment to the poor. Maybe Florida charges as much. Yes -- she can be his "best friend," etc., but in God's eyes and those of their witnesses, that couple can also be husband and wife. -- PASTOR WIL NUCKOLLS, FAIR OAKS, CALIF.

DEAR PASTOR NUCKOLLS: I admire your compassion and your wisdom. I know there are pastors such as yourself who are willing to perform "commitment ceremonies." I hope the couple in question takes your letter to heart.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband passed away recently. We were married for 17 years -- divorced for 16 -- and we had three children. Both of us had happily remarried years ago.

Since his death, my closest friends (and even my sister) keep asking me, "Are you OK?" "Are you going to be all right?" I find this very annoying.

I think their sympathy should be expressed to my children instead of me. Have you any suggestions as to what I can say to them? -- EX-WIFE IN KENTUCKY

DEAR EX-WIFE: Your certainly don't want it to appear that you don't care that your ex-husband has died. Simply say: "Yes, I'm fine. I'm sure the children would love to hear from you."

DEAR ABBY: I would like to add this to your "You Know When You're Getting Old" collection:

You know you're getting old when you don't recognize a single celebrity in the "Today's Birthday" column of your newspaper! -- JOSEPH H. ZIMMERMAN, WILMINGTON, DEL.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)